Walk, Sit, Stand, RUN!

I almost feel sorry for all of those poor saps who pour hundreds of dollars into an exclusive gym membership every month. I've managed to develop my own free exercise program, and boy does it get my blood pumping!

It's really quite simple and consists of the following steps:

1. Wake up approximately 15 to 20 minutes before you need to walk out of your front door to go catch your bus to work.

2. Brush your teeth, wash your face, and change into your work clothes all at one time, being careful not to get any toothpaste on the aforementioned work clothes.

3. Walk out your front door precisely 10 minutes before the bus is supposed to be at the bus stop and call for the elevator.

4. Walk out of the front of your building and down the street toward the bus stop.

.:.Now here's where things pick up a bit, so be sure to follow along carefully!.:.

5. Look up and notice the bus roaring down the street toward the bus stop (early, mind you).

6. Curse a blue streak and race after the offending bus, your backpack stuffed with your laptop and reference books bouncing wildly on your back.

7. Race up to the bus stop JUST as the doors to the bus are closing and pound on them loudly to be sure to get the driver's attention.

8. Squeeze your way onto the bus and work your way slowly toward the rear exit doors, as you have to hop off at the next stop in order to catch the tram for the next leg of your journey.

.:.This is the easy part, you can take a breather here if you're having trouble keeping up.:.

9. Ride the tram until you get to your next stop (don't forget to hit the button to let the tram driver know you want to get off) and hop off.

10. Stand at the crosswalk waiting for the light to change, and notice the next bus that you need to catch zooming around the corner and pulling up at the stop on the other side of the street.

11. Go ahead and curse up another blue streak (boy, are those my ears burning?) as you risk life and limb racing across the street, dodging cars and bicyclists in your attempt to catch the bus before it leaves you eating its exhaust fumes.

.:.Okay, you've raised your heart rate and burned some fat. Now it's time for the cool down! .:.

12. Ride this bus until your next stop, and stand around for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes waiting for your next ride to show up. You can even go in and grab a nice cool and refreshing drink from the convenience store right behind you if you feel the need.

13. Be sure to wave your little tickets around when your bus approaches the bus stop so the driver is sure to notice you and realize that you want to get on.

14. Get on the bus, find a seat, and ride it out until it's your stop.

15. Push that little button again (it's your friend), get off, and walk the remaining 10 minutes to work.

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen! A 1.5 hour workout, completely free, and all on your way to work in the morning! No special trips to the gym, no membership fees. What more could you ask for?

Want to contact me about more of my fantastic ideas? Well, *ahem* I'll have to get back to you on a good time. I'm a bit busy running after buses...