Title: "Santa Claus versus Jesus Chrust"

Santa Claus said,  "Ho Ho Ho, down the merry go"; Jesus Christ 
looked perplexed and cautioned,"Don't call me a ho bitch!"
Satan retorted, "Aesus, don't talk back, I said ur a hoe, & 
dat be it G". Aesus paused and contemplated, "Get behind me Satan"; 
Santa majestically moved behind Aesus & questioned, "Do you love me
dat bad?" Aesus replied, "You know I do hon: For without the Spirit 
I can do nothing." Santa gestured, waving his hand, "Maybe later, I 
have better things to do at the moment"; Santa moved back in front 
of Aesus, "Really I got to go, got people to see, things to do, 
mountains to climb." Aesus replied, "Begone then." Poof...Santa 
disappeared...

Aesus went out in the forest, sat down on some wood & took off 
his jacket. Aesus took out some weed and began smoking his bong. 
Aesus contemplated in his inner most, I wish I had some acid to
trip on, Santa gives me the creeps, I need to mellow out. Aesus 
toaked his bong harmonously & at last he knew he was in heaven. 
Aesus then reached for his eight ball of cocaine, snorted about 
four lines and mellowed out in the woods. Aesus said, "God dam, 
I'm trippin balls". There Aesus went to sleep and woke up the 
following next day.

Aesus then got up, brushed himself off, and began to walk back 
into the inner city named: "Arafatass". He trotted along a narrow 
path and entered the gate of Arafatass. Down he went though the 
citties. 

Some time had passed, and Aesus found himself at the pearly gates 
of a park. He sat down on a bench and wrote something in the sand. 
Still to this day, no one knows what was written in the sand, not 
now or ever. Santa came walking by and stated: "Ay Aesus, is dat 
you?"; Aesus replied, "Yeppers, how did you know?" Santa cautioned,
"Lucky guess I suppose". Aesus questioned, "Well, what do you want",
Santa said, "Oh, I'm not sure, well, I was wondering: Would you 
like to be one of my rain deers?" Aesus looked astonished, "I got 
better things to do than be one or your sled dogs!" Santa replied, 
"Then you won't get no presents for christmas." Aesus cryed out 
like a spoiled snob, "God dam it, then fine."

Satan went into an inner city of Arafatass named "Saddamhusseinbigass"
into an arena to challenge a gladiator. Caesar motioned & announced 
the opponents, "In the far east we have Santa Claws & in the far 
west we have Esavnort". Both opponents ingaged at one another. Santa 
swang his arm at Esavnort and ripped his nipple. It took all of 
Esavnort's composure to restrain his tears: For his boob hurt so bad. 
Esavnort retaliated with a bamboo stick, smacking Santa in the head 
over and over. Santa was dizzy with all Esavnort's badgering & 
aggression. Santa riped at his back about forty times. Esavnort 
wailed inside but his pride restrained his tears. Esavnort regained 
his composure and smacked Santa in the gut with his bamboo stick. 
Santa gave Esavnort one last jaw breaking crush and Esavnort was out 
cold. Caesar stood up and proclaimed Santa the winner and victor. 
The crowed roared and through flowers down at his feet. Caesar 
proclained, "None like him, not now, or ever will be found again: 
Alas, you can have my seat Santa, you fought so majestically I think 
I will resign and become a gladiator."

The crowed continued roaring and Santa left. He entered a telephone 
booth and disappeared.

Later on that day, Aesus went home to be with his mother. He went 
into his room and noticed on his door, the "Do not enter sign", was 
removed. Aesus was still at it, snorting cocaine and smoking weed. 
He grabed a hold of his mom's ass and said, "Who's your daddy." 
She knew he had mental problems and she just left him to him self. 
Aesus still tripping balls, pulled out a ouija board. The crystal 
zipped around to all the letters. Aesus was perplexed, thinking to 
himself, the fuck tards can't even spell. The crystal then came off 
the board and began floating around the room, then shot right 
through one of his lamps. Aesus knew he as pissed it off. Aesus
restrained himself, thats the last time I'm going to do that.

Santa knocked at his door. Marry answered: "Did you bring any 
presents"? Santa nodded his head, "Aesus won't be my rain deer, 
so I told him I'm not going to get him anything this christmas. 
Marry replied, "Well, what about me, what do I get." Santa said, 
"Can I come in?" Marry motioned for him to come in. They 
sat down of a sofa. Santa asked her, "What can I get for you this 
christmas Marry?" Marry suggested, "I'll take a big fat christmas 
tree." Santa said to the Virgin Marry, "Would you like an angel to 
be at the top of that tree." Marry replied, "No, I'm sick of them 
getting all the glory of being on top of the christmas tree. Better 
yet, make a doll up of myself and place me on top of the tree for 
a memorial of women." Santa thought, "Now thats a good idea". Marry 
said, "Thats all I want for christmas." Santa replied, "Your wish 
is granted."

Santa walked into Aesus room, "You know, you should stop smoking 
that stuff, but the cocaine I hear is good for the circulation." 
Aesus replied, "Get the fuck out of my room fairyboy, I can do what 
I want, your not my father & knock before you enter." Santa replied, 
"Its cuz your a basterd you funky bitch"; Santa left his room and 
considered what a bastered he was. Santa went back to Marry and 
told her, "Be sure on the day that I bring you the christmas tree 
and place your image on top the tree that you lay out some chocolates 
for me." Marry grasped her breast and replied, "Sure thing." Dong, 
dong, dong, the clocked chimed. Santa said, "Its time for me to go"; 
& left the house. Marry went back into Aesus room. Marry asked, 
"Why don't you want to be a rain deer?" Aesus replied, "Woman, 
I'm sick of you questioning me, can't you see that I am busy." 
Marry felt all fuzzy inside, "If you keep mistreating me, I'm 
going to tell every one your not really my son." Aesus straightened 
up, "Okay, Okay, anything but that." Marry left the room.

NARRATOR: Marry got all she asked for. Santa was out one rain deer 
and was fuckin bad about it--one demerit Aesus! Aesus just sat 
around the house and smoked weed for the winter. Aesus typically 
is a good old fashioned hunter. He hunts for gain and Marry enjoys 
all his labor. 

AARON'S CLAUSE: 
(1.)Honor your mother and father above God: They created you 
(or you created yourself, maybe your the egg and the sperm).
(2.)Do unto others how you want them to treat you.
(A.)First do unto others how they treat you.
(B.)Then treat others how they treat you.
(C.)An option, you don't have to treat someone bad if they strike 
you in the face, you have the option of restraining youself from 
fighting. You may also elect to sue that individual. 
(D.)If someone calls you names. You can elect not to show any 
hostility. You can say have a nice day, or you can tell them to 
fuck off. These are examples of come backs.
(3.)The creator of all things should be acknowledged.
(4.) If your a genome experiment: You should still acknowledge 
the alien who created 70% (an estimate) of the life on this planet.
If two races mate, and example of a new race has arrived (in some 
since is a genome experiment), but don't tell me the devine alien 
could have predicted the base pairs of DNA in that baby. So to make 
things short. If the Devine Alien (God) could have, then he would 
have created everything from scratch. All things in its ballance 
are following a iteration program of the past.