Father John Ramsey
Versus
"The Demon Knight" Fear
Writer: Jon Beavers
BEEP...
BEEP...
BEEP...
BEEP...
[The sound of the truck backing up, catches everyone off guard, as a dump truck
is seen pulling up to the back lot where the next match is going to be taking
place. ]
JP: Well, it doesn't look
like we're gonna get much accomplished in the back lot right now.
[The truck stops, and the bed gets ready to dump... The strangest stuff begins
to pour out of the truck, A roll of fencing... Several Louisville Sluggers, a
lead pipe or two... A length of chain, some 2X4s' a ladder, and several trash
cans, one which is filled with several various garden tools... There's a ladder,
some tangled barb-wire, a few steel chairs, a stop sign, some cookie sheets, and
a few sheets of what appear to be broken glass... The door to the the truck
opens and out comes MWF Superstar Fear... He grabs a lead pipe from the pile
of debris, and awaits his opponent...
We see Father John Ramsey standing across the back lot. He has no weapon in his
hand, just a leather bible. Fear smiles real wide, as he picks up a lead pipe
and walks over to face off with Ramsey... ]
Sully: SOMEONE'S gonna get
hurt real quickly in this one.
JP: It's been a while since we've had a match like this in the MWF, I hope these
boys know what they're getting into with this unorthodox style of wrestling.
[Fear is upon Father John, and he swings the pipe, Ramsey lifts the "Good Book"
and blocks the blow somewhat, but the book falls from his hand to the asphalt,
and he grabs his wrist in pain... Fear locks him into a headlock using the
pipe, and has his head tied-up. Ramsey grabs Fears' arms, trying not to allow
the air to restrict, and yanks him in for a huge elbow to the gut... Two...
Three... The hold is released, and the pipe clangs to the ground, as Father John
performs an arm twister and wrenches the arm behind Fear... He tosses fear into
the back of the truck, shoulder first, nearly dislocating it. Ramsey doesn�t
give Fear a second to recover, still grasping his arm and pulling him right back
and shoving into the truck bed again, wracking that shoulder... Fear stumbles
and Father Ramsey backdrops him into the fencing. The Father is up quick and
now he's packing a Louisville... ]
JP: You heard of bowling for
Jesus? This looks like it's gonna be a beating for Jesus...
Sully: In about 3 seconds it's gonna be the worst beating since Jesus!
JP: Sully!
[Father John brings down the bat, but it's blocked by a shovel, and Fear kicks
The Father the stomach, and rises with the shovel in his hand... He whacks John
with the shovel in the leg, then the shoulder. The shovel is snapped over
Father John Ramsey's' back, and Fear grabs him and performs a pulling pile
driver into the debris. He gets up and walks over to the ladder, setting it up..
He graps two convenient sawhorses with a flimsy piece of plywood and sets them
up as well, he lays a piece of glass on the plywood and walks back over to
Ramsey... Ramsey has risen to his feet though, and the two men begin trading
slugs back and forth.. Fear has the upper hand, and grabs Father John into
another headlock. He wrenches the headlock and laughs, as some of the road crew
have started to come out and watch the melee. ]
JP: Fear wanting to make
sure that the neck of John Ramsey doesn't survive...
[Again, Ramsey fights out of the headlock. He backdrops fear to the ground, but
the ladder falls over, and Father John gets up to reset it up. Fear gets back
up and runs at him, but he's caught in the stomach with the ladder, in the
grossest thing you'll see on MWF TV this month, Fear hurls. The beating doesn't
stop however. John Ramsey pulls back the ladder, and drills it into Fears
forehead. ]
Sully: Man, I think Fear is split, in fact, look!!! The ladders been re-set up!!
[Indeed, it has, although a little bent, the ladder is up, and John Ramsey,
grabs Fear by the hair, and leads him over to it. They begin climbing the ladder
and trading the blows. By the top of the wobbly ladder, it looks as if Father
John is going to knock The Demon Knight off the ladder to the ground below.
However, a quick thought, and a poke to the eyes, fear grabs Ramsey, and hoists
The Rev over the top of the ladder in a suplex maneuver.. The ladder buckles as
Fear has him all the way up. All three men come crashing down, and father John
catches only half of the plywood set-up..
The crowd inside, and the crew outside, begin a chant of "Holy Shit!!!"
The crowd doesn't get it.. As the men begin to stir, Father John rises up with
a snarl, and begins to pummel fear. First with a cookie sheet, that bends.
Then with a stop sign which he hold high, before letting it crash down. ]
Father John Ramsey: Stop That blasphemous chant!!
[This seems to excite the crowd though, and it continues at a louder decibel.
Ramsey grabs the length of chain and begins choking Fear for a few seconds, then
he walks over to the roll of fencing, and tosses it down on Fear. Fear puts a
stop to the onslaught with a handful of thumbtacks out of a duffel bag, and as
Father John raises his arm, Fear tackles him into the pile of weaponry. He
straddles Father John, and begins delivering a series of Ultimate Fighting style
punches, over and over, as Ramsey tries to block with his arms. He reaches back,
and grabs the first thing he can find. He grabs the lid of a can, and whips it
down, crushing it in a 90 degree angle over the head of fear. Then rolls out
from underneath, out to give himself another few seconds to recover. ]
JP: Man, everything but the kitchen sink has been used in this match!!
Out of the Debris, John throws the proverbial unit into the side of Fear. It
hits the asphalt , and shatters, showing everyone that its a real unit.
Sully: Shut up John, you're giving him ideas..
[Ramsey walks over to to his bible, which lay on the ground, and picks it up. He
finds a page, marks it with his finger, closes the book, and begins to use the
book as a weapon, beating the face of Fear. ]
Sully: I KNEW this guy was a
Bible Thumper!
JP: Sully!!
[Fear looks shocked as he tries to stop Father John, but impossibly can�t seem
to do it. He's being beaten down by the power of the "Good Book" ... Still in
hand, Ramsey locks in a DDT to the asphalt and gets the pin. 1.. 2.. 3.. ]
Peter Santos: Here is your winner Father John Ramsey!
[Looking over the body of Fear, he regains his composure and opens his book,
still marked in the same place.. ]
Father John Ramsey: He that
hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that
loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest
myself to him. John 14:21 KJV
JP: Nobody could have kicked
out of a move like that DDT to the asphalt!
Sully: Father John Ramsey has more luck than anyone I�ve ever seen in the MWF!
JP: Call it Faith, call it Karma, Call it Divine Intervention, but it seems to
be working for Father John Ramsey.
Sully: It sure was something... Again...
[The crowd parts like the red sea for him, as he stumbles off the lot, and the
camera pans back to Fear, who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant
and peered inside. ]
---Commercial Break---
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