FJ: Uhhhnnnngg�. S'ok, summer vacation you know?
MV: So how is it that Cauldron of Puke, a relative unknown band in St. Louis, has been number one on the charts TWICE?
FJ: Well, we have a very special brand of sinisterness that really touches the soul. We believe it's because Billy shaved his cat and offered the hair in a sort of a sacrifice.
MV: What does it take to keep up that full tilt, non-stop, malevolent death grindage?
FJ: You have to be really mean at heart. I like to trip kids at recess just to keep up the bad intentions. Then you use them to really aggressively rock.
MV: What are the bands immediate plans for the future? (Plans for world domination, etc.)
FJ: Well, being full of bad intentions and malcontent only leads to logical ends. We want to play in a club someday when we get 18. Then we can really show the world what it means to be mean and stuff. Cuz soon we want to �...well I guess I should keep some secrets.
MV: There have been some rumors about various members of the band having trouble with the law: arrested for littering, loitering, riding skateboards on private property, and getting kicked out of their mom's house. Would you care to comment?
FJ: Yeah, well if some people just don't get our vibe. Intent is only half the battle. I got probation for littering my hot dog wrapper at the mall parking lot. Billy got grounded last week because of the sacrifice. And there's the fact that we have kicked Adolf Von Hellrazor out for cutting the old ladies lawn.
MV: Ok, I have to know about the sacrifice thing� and then about Adolf!
FJ: Well Billy wanted to sacrifice the cat for good luck. But his parents wouldn't let him� So he shaved it instead and offered the fur as a sacrifice. Cat fur smells funny when you burn it. Anyway, he got grounded for like two weeks.
MV: Wow� and Adolf?
FJ: Adolf was cool until we caught him mowing that old lady's grass down the street. He wasn't even getting paid. So we told him that he wasn't sinister enough and kicked him out. I think he's starting a new band now.
MV: So why the word "dadgummed" on Priest of the Dadgummed? Wouldn't it be more sinister to say "damned"?
FJ: Yeah, but Ralph's mom said we can't practice in the basement if we cuss and stuff.
MV: With this newfound fame, have women (and I use that term loosely) been throwing themselves at you?
FJ: Not really yet� I saw Ralph's little sister eyeballing me the other day at practice, but she's only 7. I do notice that the hippie neighbor's dogs lick us more and stuff. But I don't know if they're boy dogs or girl dogs.
MV: You guys are about the worst tempered group of people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. How do you expect to outdo yourselves?
FJ: We really hope that everyone in the band can just keep those bad intentioned feelings up. Next year we are sure that there will be plenty of stuff in high school to keep us mad.
MV: When can we see a music video from COP?
FJ: Well, Billy is going to take video class in school and we hope we can do something with our school.
MV: If COP was offered a record contract and a touring agreement, do you think you'd take it?
FJ: Oh yeah� We really hope that we can do a rockumentary like our heroes do. And we want our rightful millions. But we are going to release our Kentucky Fried Cat CD on our own.
MV: Can we expect to see more of you guys around town, once one of you has his driver's license? You know, more gigs, etc?
FJ: Well we had this one guy that was going to play with us for a while. He was older and he just got out of jail. But he said he always liked doing stuff with young men, so we thought he could get us a gig or two. But then he got arrested again at Adolf's house for something. Adolf won't tell us about it. So we are just waiting for the county fair this fall and hope we can maybe headline it.
MV: Thank you Filthbag. That should satisfy your rabid fans for a little while. Keep on shredding the darkest darkness. Later.
FJ: Thanks to all our fans for the help. We hope to be able to assault you with a full blown sinister attack soon. Keep it bad intentioned!