ahhhhhhh.... this is my favorite time of day Christy... summertime, nobody's up yet... Becca's still sound asleep and she will be for another hour or so... brian's either up and out or still in bed... today he's in bed... it's quiet here now and I have the house all to myself, just sitting here having a cup of coffee and watching the birds at the feeder... there were two deer at the fence a few minutes ago, a doe and her fawn...they were watching the feeder like they wished they could get some... as brian says, "ahhhhh, just go nibble the shoots off some of my trees," lmaaaao.
brian and me had a deep, long talk last night after we put Becca to bed. We went to bed and got undressed and i thought maybe we'd have something ELSE long and deep ;-) but we started talking and he said "you know, i've been thinking..."
apparently last week when we had the Big Cel Phone Blowout (I have no idea if it's "cel" or "cell" either by the way) he'd already been thinking about all of this... "all of this" being MOVING, Christy... away from this land he loves and those trees he sells and this house he built... back into Gettysburg. he said when I said that about "there are things that I'd never do if it was just me or just us, but you put becca into the mix and everything changes" that really got him thinking. He loves the place (of course... he BUILT it) and it's just about perfect for him... but he says that it really has been hitting him lately how out of the way it is... it's half an hour to town for EVERYTHING... "that takes up a lot of time"... but mainly he said that what he thinks about is how it's going to be for BEcca... he was funny, typical brian: "we're isolated out here and that was ok when I was breaking up with Ginny and didn't know which end was up... I built this place because I NEEDED to be away from it all... but now that I'm with you and I have her, it just doesn't suit in so many ways... so... I want you to move out" LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO!!
He said he feels bad because Becca really doesn't have any friends around here, and what's she gonna do when she has friends from school... and what are WE gonna do when she starts to want to do things after school... right there is an hour long block of time, into town and back... he says "you work in town... I work in town...I just wonder if we shouldn't maybe sell this place and move into town..."
I NEVER thought I'd hear him say that...
Anyway like I said we talked for a long time... I said, "Sweetie, first of all, when Becca starts going to school, they have these things called school buses, so if she wants to come home, she can do that. And she's not the only kid out here... there are kids around here that she'll get to know as she gets older."
As for taking her in town to Do Things, first of all, brian and I work in town, like he said, so we're there already and can get her... but second, she really so far has shown that the kind of stuff she likes is out here in the country: nature, horses, all that. brian has made her a real country girl. I'm sure once she gets into school she'll want to play sports (I will NOT put her into a soccer league... NO SOCCER!!!!!!!!) but she loves it out here, i'm pretty sure.
I said "Brian there are certain conveniences we both decided to give up by settling down out here, and they were based on ideals that we both have... ways that we want to live: living clean, not being cluttered with crap, being close to the land and the woods and all." I told him "One of the things that got ME thinking when we had our go-round last week was when you were saying how you don't want Becca raised in a certain way, and even though i was pissed at you and just kind of throwing it back in your face, I feel that way too. I like the way our life is out here. We sacrifice a little convenience but to me it's all worth it. and I know when Becca gets big and mouthy"
and he goes "as opposed to being small and mouthy," lmaaaao
I said "I'm sure when becca gets to be 10, 11, 12 years old and on into high school, we'll hear it sometimes, but i bet all in all she's gonna love it here and her friends will too."
And he said "I just worry that I'm doing the right thing for my family Margo that's all."
I was glad we talked it out... I think he might have been thinking it over a bit too much... I mean, Christy, Becca just feels like she belongs here... and Brian's house with that beautiful music room of his, the sun streaming through and that gorgeous little reading room and that tea house he built in the back... his christmas trees... I really can't imagine living anyplace else. but I wonder if there's a part of him that feels like he built it as a response to everything that was going on in his life back THEN, 10 years ago when he got the idea and bought the land and started in on it (were you here for the trailer??? Sheez, that ugly trailer he lived in while he was building. Christy we weren't seeing each other then and I don't think he was seeing YOU when he was there, but let me tell you, it was the happiest day of my life when I finally saw that trailer being dragged off the property. I just wish he'd burned it like in that movie SMOKE SIGNALS, lmaaao).
Anyway I've sidetracked myself into a dead end again.
So it was nice to talk and like he said "This has been on my mind most of the spring, mainly when it came up was once softball season started and you were coming home late."
And I was like "Brian, if I'm coaching I'm gonna be coming home later anyway... living in town won't make THAT much of a difference." And he's like "I know, I know... I just... I want to do the right thing for Becca. And I know that my thinking about all this, that's one big reason why I got so upset last week about the stupid phone."
And he said another thing, he's writing more songs lately... he said he notices lyrics and tunes coming to him like they used to when he was REALLY writing around the time we met... he wants to take this summer and get some demos sent out... I said "Go for it." It'd be a real shame if he got a couple recordings of his song, a hit or two, and had to quit the job at the college wouldn't it??
So that was our talk... I don't think we're going to sell the house and move, he said it felt good to discuss it... I think also part of him thought that ~ I ~ wanted to move, that I was unhappy out here, a half an hour from town, and I was like "No, I LOVE it here." And he said "Well you know with your folks moving back down..." ANd I said "Brian, with Mom and Dad moving back down to Gettysburg, I ESPECIALLY love being out here," lmaaaao. I said "Don't take it wrong because I love Mom and Dad, but do I really want to be right in town around the corner from them. Becca'd like it but sheez, I don't need them THAT close. It'd be like if we lived in Piglerville" (Brian still loves it when i call it Piglerville) I said "Would you want to be right in town so your Mom and Dad could pop in unannounced anytime they wanted? I wouldn't. We're just close enough right now..."
So it was a nice talk.
Seven o'clock and all's well... still the only waking soul in this house... but my coffee's gotten cold.... rrrrrrrrr.... I'm gonna go heat it back up and maybe turn this thing off and go curl up against my man.... ooops.... too late... I can hear him coming down the hall... okies Christy... talk to ya later. sorry to go on and on about me but you really let me, you never say a WORD back, lmaaaaaao.
Have a good pregnant day woman! xoxoxoxoxo me
.
All contents of this website Copyright c 2003, 2004 Max Harrick Shenk