About to go to the store and I had to write you because I owe you a big apology Bri...
As Becca and I were finishing yunch Roy pulls up and he wants to doublecheck on the key and stuff for while we're gone. I gave him your list, not that he can f'n read anyway...
...but I mentioned the cooler to him... and he said bleach would do it and he'd take care of it for me if I wanted him to. Well, I wanted to PUNISH YOU for being such a lunkhead and leaving those oysters in there, but shit, if Roy wants to do it, let him breath the rot of death in.
So anyway as I'm cleaning up and getting Becca ready to go I see him trampin' across the yard dangling a squirrel by the tail... all mangy and the fur's all eaten away and stuff... the maggots were definitely working at it... and I was like, "Where was THAT?" and he goes "In your cooler."
Roy said that the squirrel must have gotten inside and the top fell shut on the poor thing and he suffocated. So THAT was what smelled hunny.
I seem to remember seeing the cooler with the lid propped open with a stick the day after the party but today when that smell hit me I was blinded by Husband Rage and thought, "No... HE LEFT THE %^$&#@!!! OYSTERS IN THERE!!!!"
So I am sorry that I was seminasty in my emails baby...semi because even though you know I wasn't totally serious a part of me WAS pissed and wasn't kidding.
I'm sorry Bri. Please forgive your sweet evil cunt of a wife.
Anyway I had Roy Dispose Of (or rather return to its rightful owner) the cooler, and he smiled and said he'd be more than happy to, so all's well that ends well. No bleach involved either... I just wish there HAD been oysters in it. Let the owner clean it out.
Okies baby. I'm off to the store with Becca. Maybe we'll pop in and pay you a visit sweetie. I loves you porgy xo me
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