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more cards click herecards similar to this one & a lot more A Free Cards listing ONE OF MY FAVORITE SITESThe sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. The average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable. Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio. Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ? The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.) When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired." Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards." Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. An ostrich's eye is bigger that its brain. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies. David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. Cat's urine glows under a blacklight. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver". The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun. The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. The Bible has been translated into Klingon. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California. Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6. Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate. According to one study, 24% of lawns have some sort of lawn ornament in their yard This one is somewhat surprising. It's not a joke as such, but a nice demonstration of the faults of the human brain. Follow the exercise as dictated below. READ this sentence: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS. Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again. Then see below... Answer below (scroll down) ... ================= A woman was shopping at the Tuttle Mall in Columbus. She came out to her car and saw she had a flat. She got her jack, and spare out of the trunk. A man in a business suit came up and started to help her. When the tire had been replaced, he asked for a ride to his car on the opposite side of the Mall. * Feeling uncomfortable about doing this, she stalled for awhile, but he kept pressing her. She finally asked why he was on this side of the Mall if his car was on the other. He had been talking to friends, he claimed. Still uncomfortable, she told him that she had just remembered something she had forgotten to pick up at the mall and she left him and went back inside the mall. * She reported the incident to the mall security and they went out to her car. The man was nowhere in sight. Opening her trunk, she discovered a brief case the man had set inside her trunk while helping her with the tire. Inside was a rope and a butcher knife! * When she took the tire to be fixed, the mechanic informed her that there was nothing wrong with her tire, that it was flat because the air had been let out of it! * The moral of this story...learn to change your own tire, call someone you know and trust to help you or call mall security in the first place to assist you. Please Be Safe....and not sorry. * Although this happened in Columbus, it could happen anywhere. There are NUTS around. Just a warning to always be alert. Pass this along to every woman you have access to. Never let your guard down. Good story for women to know about, although with the NUTS in today's world, everyone needs to be careful (not just women). There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's". THIS IS "JUST IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW " Most dogs are immortal. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. You didnt know this stuff .. hah .. Sit back let me tell ya more ..... It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. [ WATCH YER MAN .. LADY'S ] You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or >killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. The Chief of Police is always Grumpy or has indigestion. Tums anyone? When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Detectives always have the exact amount for the bribe or the bum takes every last dollar they or the partner has in hundreds no doubt.. jeemoney .. how much do these guys get paid !!!?!??! Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing nighties. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. And boy everyone has to typa alot ..whew... Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a sports stadium. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. DANGERS OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since it can: 1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. it is a major component in acid rain 3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. accidental inhalation can kill you 5. it contributes to erosion 6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical dihydrogen monoxide. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was... WATER!! -=+=- Sometimes we need little FUN distractions in our lives. This will distract you for about three minutes. PLEASE...DON�T SCROLL AHEAD!!! Follow these 6 steps and have fun... Pick the number of days a week that you would like to go out to eat? Multiply this by 2. Add 5. Multiply it by 50. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1748, if you haven�t, add 1747. Subtract the 4 digit year that your were born. SEE BELOW: RESULTS: You should now have a 3 digit number: The first digit of this was you original number, (i.e. times you�d like to eat out). The second 2 digits are your age!! This is the only year (1998) it will ever work, so if you�d like, spread the fun around by sharing this with your friends. [3] -=+=- Great Story... A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the outer office of the President of Harvard University. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn�t even deserve to be in Cambridge. She frowned. �We want to see the president,� the man said softly. �He�ll be busy all day,� the secretary snapped. �We�ll wait,� the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn�t. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. �Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they�ll leave,� she told him. And he signed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn�t have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, �We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.� The president wasn�t touched; he was shocked. �Madam,� he said gruffly, �We can�t put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.� �Oh, no,� the lady explained quickly, �We don�t want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard. The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, �A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard.� For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. And the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, �Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don�t we just start our own?� Her husband nodded. The president�s face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California, where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about. [5] -=+=- TRIVIA: Print every World Wide Web page on paper, lay them on top of each other, and you�d produce a pile that dwarfs Mount Everest. A recent study indicates the Web�s phenomenal growth. It estimated there were 320 million publicly accessible pages at the end of 1977. . . However, any single search engine can find fewer than half of them. - National Geographic, November 1998. [6] -=+=- ~DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES~ 1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a 200-foot-high cliff on his daily run. 3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel Jones, age 21, from Woodridge VA, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5' of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, but could not reach him.. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on .. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. 4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burgling. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. 5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing. 6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Delaware as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. 7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont , Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles. ~DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS~ (Not eligible for the Darwin Award because they did not actually succeed in self-extermination) 1) In Guthrie, Okla , in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his 22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head fracturing his skull. 2) In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cob-webs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. 3) Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, in Sept. 96 and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car . While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed. 4) Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festival in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no bull was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored in the head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant, "It's just one bull against a thousand Morons. *********************************** What is everything to someone, And nothing to everyone else? your brain = While on my way to St. Ives I saw a man with 7 wives Each wife had 7 sacks Each sack had 7 cats Each cat had 7 kittens Kitten, cats, sacks, wives How many were going to St. Ives? just one Me ************************************ There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it? A window.... *********************************** A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ======== Just be consistent! hmmm?!?! Just be consistent! In 1974 a young female attorney helped draw up the rules under which Richard M. Nixon would be tried by the Congress for impeachment. "Impeachment," she wrote, "did not have to be for criminal offenses but only for a "course of conduct" that suggested an abuse of power or a disregard for the office of the President of the United States." She wrote, "that a person's course of conduct" while not particularly criminal could be of such a nature that it destroys trust, discourages allegiance, and demands action by the Congress." She wrote that "the office of the President is such that it calls for a higher level of conduct than the average citizen in the United States." This young female attorney who helped write the standard under which Presidents are to be judged by the House of Representatives has a unique perspective about the present situation in the White House. You see, that female attorney who said that an unethical "course of conduct" could overthrow a president is now the First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton. -OUCH- ..... YOU GO HILLARY " ' ooh -*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/-*/
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