A Redneck Christmas


In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great 
skill and talent had gone into creating it. But one small feature bothered me:
the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to 
come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the 
counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me,
"You darn Yankees never read your Bibles!"

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about
firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and riffled thru some 
pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she
said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mikey's Thot for the Day:
You stop believing in Santa Claus when you start getting clothes for Christmas.



TOP TEN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT A CHRISTMAS GIFT
YOUR REDNECK BROTHER IN LAW GAVE YOU

10. Hey! There's a gift!

9. Well, well, well ...

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though.
There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to
charity.

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don't like:

1. "I really don't deserve this."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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