realmax

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Max Smart please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Max Smarr please stand up?
Uh We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a dumb secret agent before
Jaws all on the floor Max and 99 just burst in the door
and started whoopin KAOS worse than before
they first were Stumped, thinkin' and thinkin' (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just mess up another assignment, did he?"
And The Chief said... nothing you agents!
The Chief's tied up, he's locked in his office! (Ha-ha!)
CONTROL agents love Mr. Smart {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "86, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin 99's you-know-what
actin' so tough," "Yeah, but he's really kinda dumb though!"
Yeah, probably got a couple of screws up in his head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in 99's head
Sometimes, he wansta just whisk 99 away, but can't
but it's cool for KAOS to plant bombs
"his gun is in your back his gun is in your back"
And if he's lucky, 99 might just give him a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to the agents
And expect them not to know Max has da hots for 99
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit refresher course
They got the educational spy channel?
"We ain't nothing but agents.." Well, some of us double agents
who stab CONTROL in the back every chance they get {*SLURP*}
But if we can shoot KAOS agents and double agents
then there's no reason that max and 99 can't get it on
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Max wear 99's pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: (repeat 2X)

I'm Max Smart, yes I'm the real Max SMart
All you other Max Smarts are just imitating
So won't the real Max SMart please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

Other agents don't rely on 99 to save their hiney;
well he does but tell the chief he did it himself anyway!
You think he cares about agent of the year?
Well of Course he does, DUH!
"But Max, if you win it would be wierd?"
Why? You really think he's that bad?
So you can, sit 99 next to Carlson
Carlson better not trying anything
But he better switch me chairs
So she can listen to Max talk the whole time
Little angel gives Max all the credit
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to 99, hee-hee!"
I should show the surveillance video
and show the whole world who really finished the mission
he's sick of all you KAOS agents, all you do is annoy him
so he's been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like him
who shoot like him; who mess up assignments like him
who dress like him; walk, talk and act like him
and just might be the next dumbest thing but not quite Max!

Chorus

he's like a head trip to listen to, cause he makes no sense
but he'd rather have 99 inside his living room
The only difference is 99's in love with him
I'm not being false or sugarcoated at all
She doesn't like you Carlson
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} he's got everything
ninety-nine and everything else to
Then you wonder what 99 ever saw in him
It's funny; cause at the rate he's goin when he's thirty
he'll be the only agent with a perfect record
Pinchin 99's ass when he's checkin' out her gun barrels
and he's cleaning his 9mm automatic
And every KAOS agent is after Max
He could be covering at Burger King, frying up onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parking lot, circling
Screaming "get your hands up!"
with his windows down and his gun ready
So, will the real Max SMart please stand up?
And put your hands up?
And be proud to be working for good at control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Max Smart in all of us
So what?, let's all stand up