Again I find myself sitting here.. wanting something so bad but having a single clue as to what it is.. Often when I am alone I find myself reaching for old day dreams and even Nightmares. Searching for what ever "it" is that I seek anywhere with the hope of finding it. Is it adventure? Is it excitement? Is it a thrill that can only be found in extreme danger? What is it that I long for... and am I the only one whom gets these feelings?

    I have a thought as what causes this feeling for me.. Let me to explain. Have you ever felt that you were meant for more then this life offers you? Like there is a bigger picture then just being born, living, then dying? If that is all life is meant to be like why even have it? Life is meant to be what we want it to be, but there is a force working against our pursuit of what "life" is for all of us.. This being Society. According to Society we are only to live this way by it's recipe; Born, School, Work, then when we are no longer of any use we are to die... Sounds like we are meant to be "Cattle" only to be led to the slaughter. Big meaning for life there! We live in the restrictions that Society has placed, yet they say we are "free" to do what we want with in the laws... So, if I want to just up and leave everything behind just to move to the Forest to live off the land for the rest of my life that is ok? Hell NO... I wouldn't be paying taxes, we cannot have that. "Live your Dreams" "Life is what you make of it" "Don't dream it, be it" who ever said these must have been filthy stinking rich. "Ye, who has the gold makes the rules.." So damn true isn't it?

    Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my life, but it is no where near easy. I also know that I am not the only one who has a hard time and I know that there are those who have it much worse then I. But lets get real here.. I want to be 1 thing in this life.. and that 1 thing is "ME". I am not a trendy bastard, all because so-n-so wears their pants backwards and inside out doesn't make me what to do it.. Personally I think they are retarded.. Next time out and about, Look around you. Do you see any differences in anyone? Yea, there are different tastes going around but.. Look closely. Most people Talk, dress, and act the same. This is what Society wants of us and yet there are people that enjoy that life style.. I for one do not. Can we say "Cattle"?

    "If you don't like the way the world is then stop talking and do something.." Been told that before... Well here you go, I am reaching out, spilling my thoughts, to see if there are any "real" people left in the world. Do what you like! NOT what is Cool to the trendy world. Be Original, think back to Kindergarten, the teacher telling us we are all different and that is Special. Unique, One of a Kind, One and Only, This is what we are meant to be. Do you remember that kid in High School that drove a Honda civic? Umm, what one? there were like 1,000,000,000 of them. -OR- Hey, Remember that time Terry came to school wearing swimming trunks and a Big cowboy hat? Yea, he always did something different every day of his life.... What a unique guy.

    Ask yourself, "Am I that kid in the Honda civic cause everyone else is?" or "Am I like Terry, doing what I want no matter what anyone would think of me?" Think, I bet you know people like Terry who have left a mark in your life that you will never forget just by them Being themselves and you know people like the kid in the civic that will remain a dime a dozen... Just be yourself!! ..that is if you know who "you" really are. If you don't I have one thing to say.. FIND OUT! How can you really enjoy your life if everyday you have to wake up and resume the Emulation....?