When does life really have meaning to the person living it.. At what point can they look to each passing day with a smile instead of a bitter remark... Is there really a point in life that could possibly be that way? There are so few people that can answer these questions. Those are the people that are in love. For those of us that are more like me, we tend to live in the past trying to revive it. Things move on therefore they must remain in the past. It is a hard thing to accept when you see these movies and hear these stories of people getting to relive their pasts and become really happy. Re-discovering that old love and making it anew. Things of this nature seem to only exsist in such stories and movies.

    I, for one am wanting a story such as that because I only know my past. The future is just too damn hard for me to see into. I am not afraid by any means of the future. I am just more at ease with what I know. People and places from my past, I would very much like to revisit, correct and change the out comes that occured back then. This is not a real possibility only a dream or fantasy if you will. Even though I am more relaxed in the past and only really have a few true regrets and "what if's", I have to face the music and try to look forward. It is so easy to say.. but too hard for me to do. I find nothing to my liking today. The way this world is going sickens me. There are friends that I know who say that they believe in elves and that they are beautiful creatures. They say that we humans should try to live life with Nature the way that they did. I am one who feels this way too, strange is it that I am here today.

    I have been hiding one fact from myself. I know where she is to be found. I was just not ready to face her with the one regret in my heart. Now that this regret has been fulfilled I think that now is a good time as any. I must go to her.. Hope she will be there this time. Hope this time all things are lined up right. Even though, it is too late right now. I must wait a little longer.. She knows why and she knows the reason.

    Dreams were ment to give people hope, and to others Dreams are ment as Signs. Mine are Signs I believe. Since 2000 I have tried to follow my dreams only to get their meanings mixed up. Two years ago I had one that was the start of a long spread out series. Been along time since I have had those kind of dreams. And no I am not refering to the dream you say I had.. when I put my arm around you and said, "m'mm king's sword of haste.." No these are Ones that I remember in almost full detail.

    Where am I going with this? That's easy... I am telling you that I am turning to face the future. I know where I am going and what will be there when I go.. Only God knows that.. and maybe I know too. So anyway, soon I will be saying, "Waitress, Check please..." I have always liked to point my feet to the road and just go.. I guess there is life enough in me to do it again one more time. Why not.. for the reason at hand.. I see nothing wrong with it. I will be leaving soon.. may be this year may be next.. Once I get my sign, I'm going.

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