The Power of Choice

Realizing that I chose to be the way I was to survive,

that I chose to allow myself to be and do anything to keep others happy so as to protect myself, I felt exuberant!

I could now choose differently!

I joyously believed that owning my power of choice meant

I could either choose to give myself what I needed and wanted, or choose to feel unworthy and deprive myself.

So I chose to go after what I felt I needed and wanted.

I chose the good over the bad.

Why then was my choice causing me such guilt and shame?

Life experiences have taught me a big truth about choice.

Responsibly owning my power of choice

means carefully defining what I am actually choosing between.

I am not always choosing between good and bad.

Sometimes, the choice that I must make is the choice between two things that are both good and wonderful and special to me.

And that choice must be based on my values and beliefs, not on what will cause me the least pain in the short-term.

So I have now made a new choice. 

It is not the same as choosing to deprive myself,

but it will feel the same for awhile.

 Owning my power of choice won’t always leave me pain-free.

But it will leave me with self-respect and the pleasure of no longer feeling like a victim of other people and circumstances.

Maureen Voss

May 6, 2004