An Apologetic Ode to Robert Downey Jr.
Mr. Robert Downey Jr., to you an apology:
I'm sorry I make fun of you every week on the Ass Bakery.
You probably don't even know I exist,
That you ever even were my arch-nemesis...
I made so many cheap jokes at your expense,
I guess I was just immature and had no sense.
Now I'm not lying, your movies are just great,
Chaplin, Air America, The Pick Up Artist--oh wait.
Those last two weren't very good, except for co-starring with Mel Gibson.
And the combination of you and Molly Ringwald is like box office poison.
You can take all the drugs you want, it's okay with me,
Angel dust, crack-cocaine, heroin, and PCP.
And hookers with a superhero theme are a good thing for you,
Why don't you try Superman, Batman, and Aquaman too?
Now I'm not saying you're gay, I don't want you to have that stigma,
Unless, of course, it means you're the greatest man ever.
Now the end of time for making fun of you has come nigh,
And I'm sure you're breathing a very relieved sigh.
But Robert Downey Jr., this apology comes from the heart,
So instead I'm gonna make fun
of your co-star on Ally McBeal, that skinny Calista Flockhart.
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