Hello friends. I come here today with a serious issue. We all know the great superheroes: Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman. But some superheroes just don't get our respect and affection. Sure, Spider-Man can shoot cool looking webs out of his webslingers, Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth, Batman his gadgets, and Superman has all sorts of cool powers. But folks, seriously. Does anybody care about Aquaman? Where's the respect there?

Sure, he doesn't have flashy superpowers like some others, but he can swim under water. Wouldn't you like to swim under water? I mean, if somebody came up to you and wanted to just give you a superpower, but could only give you the ability to breathe under water, wouldn't you take it? Or would you be such a pompous jackass and turn it down in the hopes that maybe just somehow someone will come along and offer you a way cooler power like heat vision so you can be more like Superman? Cause people offering you a super power donít come along every day! You pompous jackass.

Sure, we all know that most supervillians could care less about conquering the underwater kingdom where they can't rule over anything but underwater creatures, none of whom would care about a despotic ruler taking over the ocean, but still. Aquaman is the protector of the entire world of water, and water takes up 70% of the earth, you know. That's 40% more of the world to take care of than any other superhero, who only defend a measly 30% of the earth mind you, and only the land areas at that.

Plus, Aquaman does have the ability to make trips on land. Therefore, that gives him the ability to fully defend 100% of the earth. Thatís 100% folks. Maybe only Superman can beat that because he can go into space. But I bet if Superman took Aquaman into space, he could breathe that too. The guy can breathe in water and in air, so why couldn't he breathe in vaccuous space? Tell me, huh?! Heís got the genes for superhero lungs!

I think I've made my point clear. Sure, the rest of the Superfriends can enjoy their fame on land, but theyíve got to fight for attention between all the other good deed-doers, and continually look for world-affecting supervillian situations in order to keep their good standing among the citizens they protect. Aquaman controls the sea, and he's only got to fight for attention with Namor, the Sub-Mariner, who sucks because he only wears a pair of green undies and has pointy ears for god's sake.

Thank you for listening.