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| WHAT CAN NASCAR SPONSORSHIP OFFER YOU?? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1) Unprecented marketing potential for your product. 2) Exposure to millions of cool young people who now what rokz, yo! 3) Bragging rights among your friends. 4) A submissive, select group of employees who will mention your product whenever possible 5) Unique novelty products printed free of charge. Ever wanted your rival's logo on a roll of toilet paper? It can be arranged! |
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| It's time your company joins the marketing tool that is Victory in Mattswad/Got LILK? Motorsports. We have pledged ourselves to promote your product ad naseum, and have likewise brainwashed our employees to do the same. {evil laugher, sprouts horns} And now at the low, low, (and we mean low) price of $39,002,352,994.36 your company can join in on the action. Our drivers are diverse, charismatic, telogenic, and are the perfect spokespeople for whatever it is your company has to offer. Don't believe us? Check out these testimonials from satisfied customers! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| "If VIM/GLILK? didn't shove my company down the throats of Americans for days on end, I wouldn't recommend them!" -John Tenney | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "VIM/GLILK? was able to advertise my summer camp successfully, now all my little friends get to come play with me! WOO HOO HOO! -Michael Jackson | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| NASCAR IS THE EPITOME OF EVIL!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL ALL BURN WITH CLINTON FOR WATCHING THIS!!!! DIE FRANCE!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Ann Coulter |
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| "I bow NAPA/Aaron's/Domino's down in NAPA/Aaron's/Domino's worship to NAPA/Aaron's/Domino's VIM/GLILK? for their brilliant NAPA/Aaron's/Domino's marketing work. NAPA/Aaron's Dominos!" -Michael Waltrip | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| If you are interested in joining this effort, please send CASH ONLY to Michael Tickner c/o DeSales High School, 90 Pulteney Street, Geneva, NY, 39923. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||