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| Pray for Your Children | |||||||||
| I have turned in nearly all the necessary papers for school, and I am finally on my way. I have sought a place in society where I can truly make a difference. I get tired of watching society waste more and more of the most precious resource we have: children. Starting at the end of September, I will be studying to become a high school teacher. God knows that it is not for the money that I am selflessly sacrificing myself in such a way. It is all for the wonderful sense of satisfaction that I get when I crush someone's will and pervert it for my own purposes. | |||||||||
| How many individuals does an average teacher influence in a single day? If you figure that there are about 30 kids in a class, and each instructor is assigned at least 5 classes a day... That is about 150 kids a day. 2 semesters a year makes that 300 kids a school year. Multiply that by at least 20 years and you get 6,000 people influenced by me. Mwahahahahahaha! If I really enjoy my work, I could put in 30 years. | |||||||||
| Now, you may ask, why would you want to be around children, when everyone knows you hate children more than Hitler hated the Jews? As many in Springfield and Eugene know, I am the reigning Bum King. About a month ago, I challenged the former ruler for leadership and won. He stood absolutely no chance. I eat at least four meals a day and work out occasionally. While it is true that nothing but booze and pornography can imbibe super powers upon the normal human being, it is still no match for regular meals. The former being the staple of the homeless community, I waltzed in and took what was rightfully mine with relative ease. Now the previous monarch is tethered in my front yard and gives horsey-back-rides to the children of my neighborhood. | |||||||||
| What does any of this have to do with teaching kids? Simple, every year of my high school experience I have seen many people I grew up with dropping out. They are destined to become homeless eventually. That is very good for me because it feeds my ever-growing army. So does overpopulation and poverty. I love today's society. It gives me so much power. Anyhow, if I can influence kids myself, then I can cause more of them to drop out of school. Kids are very unstable as it is. All they need is a push in the right direction to turn them into transients. | |||||||||
| Eventually I will rehabilitate some of my recruits and put them through college to become teachers too. They will be completely loyal to me and will do my bidding. As more and more of my minions go forth into the public school systems, more and more kids will drop out. This will increase bum growth exponentially. | |||||||||
| When my army is strong enough, I will put a plan into action that will allow me to take over the world. My horde and I will start out small by taking over a few third world countries. With the proper persuasion, I can convince the inhabitants of the country to join in my battle against oppression and the White Devil George W. Bush. I will also give each recruit an American dollar. They will be more than happy to fight "evil" with me. That's more money than they will make in their entire lives. | |||||||||
| I shall have to acquire at least a few nukes. I won't use them, but it will keep the UN from breathing down my neck. | |||||||||
| From there we take on the less powerful countries in the world, like everything in South America. Once I hold everything but the Super Powers, I am going to take them too. Russia will buckle when I tell them that I am Stalin reincarnated. If only it were true. | |||||||||
| The rest I suppose I will have to take by force. By this time, my army will be so large that they will only be able to offer a token resistance. | |||||||||
| I will be the undisputed King of Earth. I don't really like the name Earth very much, so I will change it to Casey Scates. And someday when I die, I am going to pass leadership to Bob Dole. He is never going to die because he is Super Dole. | |||||||||
| God bless America. Where even monsters like myself are given a chance to be whatever they want to be. | |||||||||
| And don't think you can keep your kids from taking my classes. You can't just be like ,"Oh, that is Mr. Miller. Nobody take his class." I am going to change my last name soon enough. Besides, your kids are going to love me. I am going to have tattoos. I listen to metal. I have spiky hair, sideburns, and an earring. I will ride a motorcycle to work. They will willingly forsake their parents for me. | |||||||||
| 5 years from now I will be out of college and into the public school system. Let the reign of terror begin. I love you Stalin. | |||||||||
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