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| Angela Mattio | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Living with Lupus | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| It was 1998, a New Orleans hot summer. On a beautiful, balmy evening, I had just arrived at my mother's house after attending my classmate's baby shower. I was sitting down on the couch Indian style, telling Momma about how good the baby shower was. We talked for a few hours, exchanged good nights, and I went to sleep. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The next morning, I noticed an annoying ache in my legs. I figured it must have been the way I had sat on the couch the night before, so I didn't think any more of it. I continued my day as I normally would, making a mental note that this ache was still lingering. I went into my Momma's bedroom and asked, "Do you have some aspirin?" Looking concerned, she asked me, "Are you o.k.?" I said, "I'm fine, other than these weird aches in my legs." I kissed her on her cheek and made my way to go run some errands. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I spent the majority of the day out and when I finally returned, I was extremely tired. I crawled slowly to my favorite brown leather chast and fell straight to sleep. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The next morning, I knew something definitely was wrong with me. I thought my neck had broken while I'd slept here! Because I couldn't move it at all! I was crying, actually shrieking out. Momma and my sister ran into the living room where I lay. They helped me get into an upright position and I felt the excruciating pain throughout my body. My entire body felt so stiff, as if I had been in a bad accident. My mother called my doctor and made me an appointment that same morning. |
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| When I arrived, Ms. Kim, a nurse with dark brown curly hair, hazel- brown eyes, teddy bear scrubs, came to take my vitals. Then a gray-haired, 5'4 foot tall, blue- eyed, proud man with a long white lab coat came in and introduced himself as Dr. Himie. While reading his notes, talking cautiously, Dr. Himie asked, "Have there been any changes your my health recently?" After thinking about it, talking very softly, I told him, "I've aches in my legs from time to time." I also said, "I can recall similar aches since the 7th grade because I used to run all the time. I just figured I was tired because I am an active person." He performed routine lab work in an effort to pinpoint the source of my problem. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Forcefully, Dr. Himie said, "I want you to take some time off from work so that your body could get adequate rest." At that point, I became nervous as hell because nobody would or could tell me anything. I was a student at Delgado Community College at that time, and I had just started working part-time at Jollen Nursing Home. I thought, "Great school is just beginning, and now I can't go." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Three weeks had passed and still no answer. I was getting frustrated with the long waiting, so I began calling Dr. Himie's office for my results. Speaking cautiously, he told me, "We need to run additional tests because nothing was definite." Stumbling with his words, he managed to throw out two possibilities. "Rheumatoid Arthritis and Multiple Sclerosis." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I must be dreaming!" I thought. This could not be! I was too young and too cute! I was a sophomore in college, determined to make something of myself so I knew this couldn't be happening to me. No, not Angela! Mad as hell, I decided to give Dr. Himie the boot and find another one, which I did. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| This other doctor of internal medicine also administered a series of tests, including lab work. Dr. Hines, a 6 -foot tall, brown skin, dark brown- eyes told me "He wanted to pay close attention to the ANA test."Talking proudly, I told him, "I didn't know ANA from DNA; I just wanted to know what in the hell was going on inside of me now." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Two long weeks had passed when Dr. Hines finally contacted me to come to the office. I felt that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know something bad is going too happened. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When I arrived at the office, Dr. Hines gave me news that would change my life forever. He said, "Ms. Mattio, your lab results are positive." I immediately got nervous. I started thinking that I had AIDS. I thought about ADIS because that was the first thing came to my mind first. Talking nervously, I asked, "Does that mean I am positive for HIV?" He replied, "No that means you are positive for Lupus." I said, "LUPUS! What in the hell is that? Then, instantly, I got a series headache. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Lupus, I thought how in the world did this happen. No! This quack is wrong. There is no way in hell that I have lupus. "Sorry" you have the wrong person. You are not going to make me believe that I have lupus no way. I immediately stormed out of the office with fear in my eyes. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I headed back to my mother's house and learned that she had already received the news. The doctor had provided me with literature, and pamphlets that illustrated what Lupus is and what issues I might encounter with this disease. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Two years has passed since I have had two severe episodes. After intense therapy of antibiotics and the steroid prednisone, I began to feel a lot better. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The hardest thing for me upon diagnosis was accepting that I had to live with this. I denied it for a long, long time. Because of this denial, I would refuse to take the medicine because there was no way I was going to gain any more weight. I was thick enough; I couldn't do it. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| My stubbornness resulted in my barely being able to walk and care for myself. I tried with all my might to fight this on my own, but it was much too powerful. I had to give up my first apartment and move back with my mother. Just as fast as I'd traveled to the top of the world at so a young age, I witnessed my world crumble right in front of my eyes and there wasn't a dam thing I could do about it but watch. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Living well with lupus is possible and it is important that I take control of my illness and not allow it to take control of me. Adopting a positive attitude and striving to be happy can make a big difference in the quality of my life. Even though, everyday is a new struggle, but with the help and encouragement from family and friends along with my strong faith and my favorite scripture which is Philippians 4:13 which says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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