My Existance
By MRW
At once, I realized this was not supposed to, nor ever could happen. Every fiber in my
body not only rejected, but completely denied the entirety of the idea. I froze not only from
fright, but more from hoping I’d find myself waking up. Waking up has yet to occur. While
waiting for my body and mind to do something, a dull ~THWACK~ sounded in my ear. The
green grass rushed up to greet my face, but we never made aquaintance.
“Greetings. Glad you could join us.” A voice spoke from somewhere in the darkness. I
tried to open my eyes, but they would not respond. Neither would my voice. “Don’t worry about
responding, we know you’re awake.” The voice continued. “You will now be known as Number
733. Nothing else matters to you. Good day.”
With that, a door slid shut. No other sound could be heard. I believed I was alone. My
senses could not “feel” anyone, but that was never a 100% sure-fire method. My eyes still would
not open. My voice still did not respond. Was I sitting, lying down, or standing? I could not
distinguish my physical state of rest due to my complete numbness. My mind, fully functioning
from my point of view, began to think of objects, shapes, and colors in an effort to wait for my
bodily functions to return. To me, the wait would be a long one. Too long. For I did not know
but what I was the sole survivor.
Bell pushed her self up onto her hands and knees. Blood oozed slowly from a gaping
wound where she believed her heart was. Or maybe where it used to be. She slowly, painfully,
curiously, dragged her right index finger up to her chest and caressed the red substance as if it
were a newborn kitten. Shock. Almost panic. She felt her breathing cease. Then, as if a puppet
on a string, she found herself jerked to her feet. She wanted to run, but where? “Bell, remain
calm!” a stern voice from within commanded of her. She filled her lungs with air, her chest
exploding with sharp shards of pain as it expanded, trying to let the desperately needed air into
her lungs. She wanted to scream! Where was everybody? Suddenly she realized she was alone.
Her legs felt weak, she did not believe she could go very far in this state of misery. Alone. The
idea of being the last hurt worse than the ugly beast that had attached itself to her chest.
My right index finger jumped. Then my whole hand. My heart began to pound in my
chest cavity and my lungs filled with air as my body slowly began to awaken. Then, light began to
leak in through my eyelids. Anxiously, I tried to open them, but...they did not respond. Patience!
I told my self. I begged myself to remain calm, to wait. I began imagining shapes again...
One leg in front of the other. One foot, then the other. Bell kept demanding of herself as
she walked, destination unknown. She dropped to one knee, but slowly pried herself up to her
feet. Stumbled again. And again. All the while clutching her right hand tightly to her chest.
Another stumble. She struggled to her feet, but could not manage to atain her goal. She fell into
the short, green grass still commanding herself to walk.
LIGHT! The moment I had so longed for. My eyes began to focus. Objects not of my
mind began to form in my head. A small round object demanded my attention. It was a door
knob clinging to a grey door. I reached towards it, but fell onto the floor in a heap. My
breathing increased greatly as the flood gates of pain were opened. I clenched my hands and teeth
while I waited for relief. I tried to breath deeply, but could not regain control of my body. I lie
on the floor waiting, my muscles tense and beginning to ache as they reacted to the pain.
Darkness once again filled in.
Bell awoke suddenly, drawing in long breaths of air. Once again, she pushed herself up to
her hands and knees. Blood had stained the grass red, and dirt clung to her wound. Foolish girl!
She yelled at herself. Now you’re going to die for sure! She slowly began to pick the small rocks
and dust particles out of her wound, all the while trying to ignore the extreme shards of pain.
After her task was finished, she once again stood on her feet and began to walk, the sun had sunk
low into the West.
“Are you alright?” a voice called out. Bell answered yes, believing she was talking to
herself. Her responce was followed by an “OH MY!” and an arm slid across her back and behind
her knees, lifting her into the air. She awoke and tried to lift herself up to her feet, but was
immediately pushed back. Her mind began to focus and she could hear a voice. “You’re going to
be alright. Your heart and lungs were not damaged. You’re going to live.”
“Live?” she thought to herself. “Yes, I suppose I will do just that.”
I awoke, this time feeling better. Slowly, carefully, I reached for the door knob. It turned
and the door opened. There was a number written on the outside. 733. “You’re about
already?” a guard standing nearby inquired as I stepped onto the walkway.
“Yes, but I still hurt.” I replied as I looked over the railing and through the wire mesh
fence, barely able to see way down to the ground below.
“To be expected. Food will do you good. You are free to walk about the premises as you
see fit. Mess hall is down and to the right.”
“Thanks” I mumbled as I drudged onward. Free, yet entrapped within. Only the
memories to ponder on. Was I the sole survivor? A question for which I had no answer. No good
byes, just gone. I was now only a shell that existed, free to do my normal routines. But inside, I
was nobody. I was incomplete...if I was anything at all.