The Official Vlad The Impaler Webpage
Real Ultimate Power
Hi, this site is all about Vlad Tepes, REAL Dracula. This site is awesome. My name is Matt and I can't stop thinking about Vlad. This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Facts:
1. Vlad is rumored to be a mammal.
2. Vlad Tepes impales people ALL the time.
3. The purpose of Vlad Dracula is to flip out and execute people.
Weapons and gear:
Impaling Stake Bran Castle
St. Bartholomew's Day Feasts
Testimonial:
Vlad can impale people anytime he wants! Vlad kills his guests ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. This guys is so crazy and awesome that holds feats in the impaled forest ALL the time. I heard that he thought the merchants were corrupt. And when some merchant pissed him off, Vlad impaled the whole guild. My friend Bram Stoker said that he saw Vlad The Impaler totally kill his mistriss, just because she lied to him.
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't believe that Vlad Tepes has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or he will impale you!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
Vlad Dracula is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. This guy is totally awesome and that's a fact. Vlad is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait til my trip to Trigoviste next year. I love Vlad with all of my body (including my pee-pee).
Q and A:.
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Vlad?
A: Dracula is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he sactions churches, and protects the innocent and virtuous, but on the other hand, he murders everyone in sight and burns peasants in the church.
Q: I heard that Vlad is always cruel or mean. What's his problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, Vlad can kill thousands OR be selective in his mania.
Q: What does Dracula do when hes not impaling or flipping out?
A: Most of his free time is spent holding feasts, but sometimes he nails peoples hats to their heads. (Ask Bram Stoker if you don't believe me.)
This is a picture of my best friend Bram Stoker.
He's a lot older than me and based his masterpiece loosely on Vlad The Impaler,
which is bragable.
Like this parody? See several more (THE HORROR) at BrianX's websiteCopyright 2002