                      -  A  PLAY  -
                   "THE  MASONS  MEET"
         An Eastern Star's Idea of What They Do.

PREPARATION:

  Set up the "lodge" as follows:

                           Worshipful Master

Treasurer       Chaplain                       Marshal       Secretary 
     Senior Deacon                                   Junior Deacon 
                               ALTAR
    Junior Steward                                   Junior Warden 
    Senior Steward                                   Door Keeper

                            Senior Warden

                              cow bell
                          plumb line jewel
                            dish pattern


CHARACTERS:

Worshipful Master          Senior Steward             Marshal
Senior Warden              Junior Steward             Chaplain
Junior Warden              Secretary                  Worthy Matron
Senior Deacon              Treasurer
Junior Deacon              Door Keeper


PARAPHERNALIA:

    CARPET BAG containing a LEVEL,  a SQUARE,  a COMPASS,  a BIBLE,  2
books supposedly the CONSTITUTION and BY-LAWS,  the CHARTER,  and a
PLUM-LINE.   Jewels (?)  for each officer.   3 gavels.   Treasurer's
book and Secretary's minute book.   A second Plum-Line with a Prune
on it.   Frilly,  fussy aprons should be available for each officer.

DRESS:

    Those taking part should wear men's clothes and look as much
    like "Masons" as possible.

    Worshipful Master will need a top hat,  cane,  and white
    gloves.



                          PINK LODGE PLAY

WORTHY MATRON:

"WELCOME"

"Brother Masons, we are more than happy to welcome you
(your wives and friends) tonight.   There is no one any
place who we would rather entertain.   We think you are
almost perfect -- except for one small  fault -- you don't
tell us anything.   For years untold, Mason's wives have
been trying to find out just a wee bit of what you do in
your meetings.   Of course, we want you to understand that
this is not because we are curious, but because we feel we
might benefit ourselves and our organization by knowing.
Well, we realize that we haven't been too successful in
gaining the knowledge we seek, but we have gathered here a
little and there a little.   With a trifling of imagination
added, we have constructed this program tonight.   If we
have made a few errors, please forgive us.   There are parts
we are a bit hazy about.   After the meeting, any of you
will be at liberty to set us right on our mistakes.   So,
welcome again.

Without further ado, we will consider this Masonic Lodge
meeting open and all present Masons good and true."

(Worthy Matron raps the gavel and retires.)

PROGRAM:

     Enter the Worshipful Master in a decidedly important manner,
looking neither to the left or right.   He is followed by the
Junior Steward who carries the lodge paraphernalia in a bag.
     Worshipful Master goes to the East and is seated.   The Junior
Steward places the bag before him and retires.
     Worshipful Master opens the bad and speaks as he pulls out
the emblems and places them on the stand.

"Here is the Charter,  the Bible,  the Law,
And the level  --  I do declare it's full  of flaws.
We must get a new one before many years.
Well,  why should I worry,  the end of my term nears.
And here is the compass and there is the square,
Oh!  here is another; we've one to spare.
And the plum-line is ready to plum every brother
To see if we truly love one another.
Here is my gavel, we'd better begin
Those guys are always as late as sin.
But surely the last cigarette has been smoked,
And it is time now for my words to be spoke.

(Master raps gavel HARD)

"Enter officers good and true
This gavel is a call to all of you.

(gavel again)

(Officers enter, no music. Master seats officers with a rap of
the gavel.)

W.M.: "We enter now on the evening work,
       Pay attention - do not shirk."

(2 raps of the gavel  raises the officers.   As he addresses each
one in turn they reply to him giving their parts.   The Senior and
Junior Wardens may rap their gavels whenever the Master does.)

W.M.:  "Brother Senior Warden, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

S.W.:  "Worshipful Sir, When you are gone and that is that,
        I step into your shoes and wear your hat."

W.M.:  "Brother Junior Warden, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

J.W.:  "Worshipful Sir, I order food for oyster stews
        And other things for stewards use.

W.M.:  "Brother Senior Deacon, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

S.D.:  "Worshipful  Sir, I hold my office and sit and wait
        For the next election, to learn my fate."

W.M.:  "Brother Junior Deacon, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

J.D.:  "Worshipful  Sir, I carry my staff and tend the goats,
        and all the candidates actions note."

W.M.:  "Brother Senior Steward, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

S.S.:  "Worshipful  Sir, I prepare the food at time propitious,
        And afterwards, I wash the dishes."

W.M.:  "Brother Junior Steward, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

J.S.:  "Worshipful  Sir, I do what the Senior Steward tells me to
        do, my tasks are many, where his are few."

W.M.:  "Brother Marshal, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

B.M.:  "Worshipful Sir, I keep the law, (holds out gun) and anyone
        who doesn't is going to have to meet me at sundown."

W.M.:  "Brother Chaplain, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

B.C.:  "Worshipful  Sir, My I bless you and all the brethern
        Bless you my Children."

W.M.:  "Brother Door Keeper, What duties are assigned to you,
        Brother Mason good and true?"

D.K.:  "Worshipful Sir, I guard the door with utmost care,
       and many a wily Star ensnare."

W.M.:  "I now declare the Lodge is open, attend to business,
        Let's have no smokin" (gavel)

        Brethern, we are now ready for the plumin'. Senior Warden,
        you will advance to the East with your plum-line and
        conduct the ceremony." (gavel)

        (Senior Warden goes to the East dancing and Stands on the
        platform.)

S.W.:  "Brethern,  let us hope you have walked and lived by the
        plum-line since last we met.   First, we will have a report
        on last week's preparations and rectifications. Junior
        Steward, your report."

J.S.:  "Brethern,  I took back the extra cookies I knew the baker
        had given me by mistake. He thanked me and before I left
        the shop, those two cookies had been sold to a waiting
        customer. I have walked by the plum-line since last we
        met."

                 CHAPLAIN--"Bless you my child."

S.W.:  "Junior Warden, your report."

J.W. : "Brethern, I returned to the store and explained about the
        mistake in change that had been made. The store keeper
        said, "You are an honest man, just keep the change." So I
        put the nickel back into my pocket. It is my desire to
        donate it to the treasury this evening." (Goes up to
        Treasurer and deposits the money in a container. )

                 CHAPLAIN--"Bless you my child."

S .W.: "Door Keeper, your report."

D.K.:  "Brethern, I went to the husband of the woman I mentioned in
        our last plumin' ceremony. I explained in detail all
        about the situation.   The husband,  Brother                 who
        is my good Masonic brother said there were no hard
        feelings. I could buy his wife,                   ,  a cup of
        coffee anytime I wanted to, before 8:00 p.m. that is.   We
        parted the best of friends, Y'all."

Marshal stands and draws his gun and says,  "and you better not
        meet at 8:01 p.m.  or I'll meet you at the o.k. corral ."

                 CHAPLAIN--"BIess you my child."

S.W.:  "This ends the preparations rectifications. (gavel)
        Are there any confessions to make tonight?
        Remember--have you walked on the level and parted on the
        square?
        Have you plumed the depths of your natures?
        Be honest Brethern, be just. (gavel)
        Brethern,  I must make a confession myself tonight. When
        leaving home I discovered that my small son had eaten the
        plum off my plum-line. It was late, the stores were
        closed, so I was forced to substitute a prune for a plum.
        I deeply regret this incident, but it was really my wife's
        fault. She should have watched the child more closely.
        But no matter whose fault, I confess it and await your
        decision on preparation and rectification."

S.S.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) I recommend
        that the Brother be instructed to buy another plum
        immediately. It is unworthy that we pruned instead of
        plumed."

S.D.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) my wife has
        some canned plums, perhaps I can take some when she isn't
        looking."

B.M.:  "Anyone caught stealing will have to deal with me. I'll put
        you in jail and fine you $5,000.00. So beware - I'm going
        to keep law and order if it kills me."

                 CHAPLAIN--"Bless you my child."

S.D.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) it would
        not be stolen, I paid for the plums, my wife merely canned
        them."

D.K.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) why not
        purchase a can of plums at the grocery store?"

J.S.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) I think the
        brother's idea is a good one. The plums may be dried in a
        secret place and would last the Lodge for many years.

S.S.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) if the
       suggestion be carried out, let it not be the Senior Warden
        who dries the plums, his son would probably find them and
        eat them all."

S.D.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) the
        question of who should pay for the plums enters my mind.
        Should not the Senior Warden pay for it as he lost the one
        belonging to the Lodge? After all, he is responsible."

S.W.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) it was
        really my wife's fault for not watching our son. Is a man
        responsible for the faults of his wife?"

                EVERYBODY  SAYS  --  "NO."

W.M.:  "Brother Treasurer, how much money do we have in the
        treasury?"

TREA.:  "Worshipful Master, we have $15,389.57 in the treasury."

W.M.:  "Thank you, Brother Treasurer.   Brethern,  I do not believe
        we can spare the money from the treasury at this time for a
        new plum."

D.K.:  "Worshipful Master, (wave hand to be recognized) I will
        donate a plum so that the discussion may end."

                 CHAPLAIN--:  "Bless you my child."

       (all officers applaud.)

W.M.:  "Thank you, brother, you are a good and true Mason. Now, to
        continue the preparations and rectifications. Brother
        Senior Warden, you will speak to your wife in no uncertain
        terms about the negligence of bringing up your son and
        report at the next meeting."

S.W.:  "I shall be glad to do as you command. (Pause) Brethern, are
        there other confessions?  (gavel) Worshipful Master, the
        Lodge has been properly pruned--I mean plumed."

W.M.:  "I do declare the pluming closed for tonight."  (gavel)

       (Senior Warden returns to West- he skips)

W.M.:  "We will  listen to the reading of the minutes."

SEC:   "The regular meeting of the PINK LODGE F&AM was held on
        with most of the officers. The Worshipful Master opened the
        Lodge in due form and the Senior Warden conducted the
        plumbin' ceremony. There were no reports and three
        confessions. The minutes were read and corrected. A
        communication from the Eastern Star was read. The ladies
        complained about the poor janitor service. They said that
        their white evening gowns became soiled by dust and cob-webs
        about the room. They also wished a reduction in rent and
        asked the Masons to donate $1,000.00 toward a new rug. The
        communication were placed on file, no action taken. Brother
        was reported ill with a severe case of athletes foot and the
        collection of $.79 was taken to purchase flowers for him
        should he become worse. If he improved in a few days, the
        money was to be put in the treasury. The Senior Steward was
        instructed to prepare for the annual oyster supper to be
        held soon. After the Master gave an inspiring and
        instructive lecture on who should be entitled to sit among
        us as Brethern. We balloted on three petitions and they
        were all black balled. Receipts of the evening: Dues
        $300.00. There were no bills. Cash in the treasury:
        $15,389.57."
                        Brother Sylvester Wolf,  Secretary



W.M.:  "Any corrections? If not, the minutes stand approved as
        read. (gavel) Reports of committees."

J.W.:  "Brethern, I am glad to report that Brother feet got better,
        so I am placing the $.79 we collected for flowers in the
        treasury. (goes to the treasurer and drops coins in
        container, one at a time.)"

                 CHAPLAIN--"Bless you my child."

S.W.:  "Brother                      has a new son, born last meeting
        night. He has been named Mason Mason Fellowcraft in honor
        the meeting date.

S.D.:  "Brother                      is having his teeth remade, so is
        staying home for a few days.   You will all recall how loose
        they have been for years."

W.M.:  "Are there any other reports?"

M   :  "I am speaking for the posting committee. We've been having
        a little trouble with Brother                               I do
        declare it is nearly impossible to get anything through
        that man's bald head. Any suggestions from the Brethern
        will be appreciated. Personally, I'd like to suggest that
        he be transferred out of the Pink Lodge and into the Blue.
        I thank you."

W.M.:  "Communications and bills."

SEC :  "This is a letter from the Eastern Star. I shall read it.
       'Dear Masons: We are establishing a fund for new dishes,
        draperies, chairs, and other furnishing and are inviting you
        to have a part in this. A few thousand dollars from your
        Lodge will be greatly appreciated toward this new cause.
        Also, we are eagerly awaiting a reply on our last 
        communication to you. Since we wrote, three more sisters
        have had to send their white dresses to the cleaners. Thank
        you kindly for an early and favorable reply.   O.E.S.   P.S.
        We are entertaining all Masons at our next meeting and hope
        some of you will be present."'

W.M.:  "What is your pleasure in regard to this request from the
        Star of money and janitor service?"

S.W.:  "I move we lay the matter on the table, but as many as can
        go to the Party. The ladies usually put on a good feed,
        even if their programs are rather tiresome."

J.W.:  "Second."

                 CHAPLAIN--"Bless you my child."

W.M.:  "All  in favor of attending the O.E.S. feed bag signify by
        the usual sign of the Lodge." (everyone stand and says
        "Yea" )
W.M.:  "Passed." (gavel)

W.M.:  "Is there any other business? If not, we are ready for the
        closing ceremony." (gavel)
        "Door Keeper, you will look out to see if there are
         strangers running about."

D.K.:  (goes to the door and raps 6 times. Looks about, turns
        around, and says) "Worshipful Master, there is no one in
        the lobby, but there is a lot of young girls in the
        dinning room who want to sell us some tickets."
        "Oh yes,  should I start the coffee?"

W.M.:  "Senior Steward, you will approach the East."

W.M.:  "Brethern, gaze upon our emblem rare.
        Let all be just and all be square. (hands Bible)
        Keep your eyes upon the square,
        all that's good do and dare. (square)
        Let your deed on the level be,
        from all evil try to flee. (level)
        Obey all laws you feel you can,
        Be a Mason, be a man. (gun)
        Never forget, the true plu-line,
        Let it be your daily sign. (plum-line)
        Brethern, we have met upon the level,
        now we part upon the square.
        Of any 2 shady actions,
        I caution you - beware. (gavel)
        Now I declare the lodge closed.

     The Master stalks out, cane in hand, followed by the Senior
Steward. The other officers march out behind them.

THE END


