THE BUILDER OCTOBER 1917

SCALD MISERABLE MASONS
BY BRO. JOHN G. KEPLINGER, ILLINOIS

Keplinger, John G., born at Millersville, Penn., May 21st, 1877;
jeweler's apprentice at 14; author of Jewelry Repairers' Handbook
at 25; in succession advertising manager of York Silk Mfg. Co.,
York, Penn., chief correspondent National Cloak Co., New York, and
past six years advertising manager Illinois Watch Co., Springfield,
Ill. Entered, passed and raised in Central Lodge, No. 71,
Springfield, in 1912; Chaplain since 1913. Member of Springfield
Consistory.

In going through Vol. 2 of Hone's Everyday Book--published in
London in 1827--I found a very interesting account of the
procession of "scald miserable masons," which took place in London
in 1741 or 42. This demonstration on the part of the enemies of the
Craft was, in a measure, responsible for the later discontinuance
of the freemasons' processions which were held annually on June
24th since the year 1721.

R. F. Gould, in his History of Freemasonry, Vol. 3, opposite page
146, gives a full page illustration of the "scald miserables"
procession which he states was copied from the very rare original
print by A. Benoist, published in 1771. This illustration is
entirely different from that which accompanies Hone's account.

Mackey and Singleton, in their History of Freemasonry, Vol. 2,
opposite page 432, aiso show an illustration of this or another
"scald miserable" procession but it is not at all like the ones
reproduced by Gould or Hone.

While Mackey does not give an illustration of this procession in
his encyclopedia he has a full page article on the subject. In this
he quotes from Sir John Hawkin's Life of Johnson; the London Daily
Post of March 20, 1741; Smith's "Use and Abuse of Fremas."; the
London Freemason of 1858; and Hone's Ancient Mysteries, page 242.
He, however, does not give us the vivid word picture we obtain from
Hone's account in the Everyday Book.

"April 18. On this day, in the year 17--, there was a solemn mock
procession, according to the fashion of the times, in ridicule of
freemasonry, by an assemblage of humorists and rabble, which
strongly characterises the manners of the period. Without further
preface, a large broadside publication, published at the time, is
introduced to the reader's attention, as an article of great rarity
and singular curiosity.

"The year wherein this procession took place, is not ascertainable
from the broadside; but, from the mode of printing and other
appearances, it seems to have been some years before that which is
represented in a large two sheet 'Geometrical View of the Grand
Procession of Scald Miserable Masons, designed as they were drawn
up over against Somerset-house, in the Strand on the 27th of April,
1742. Invented, and engraved by A. Benoist.' (Frontispiece, this
issue.)

"It should be further observed, that the editor of the Every Day
Book is not a mason; but he disclaims any intention to discredit an
order which appears to him to be founded on principles of good will
and kind affection. The broadside is simply introduced on account
of its scarcity, and to exemplify the rudeness of former manners.
It is headed by a spirited engraving on wood, of which a reduced
copy is placed below, with the title that preceded the original
print subjoined.

The Solemn and Stately Procession
OF THE SCALD MISERABLE MASONS
as it was martiall'd, on Thursday, the 18th of this
Instant, April.

The engraving is succeeded by a serio-comic Address, commencing
thus:--

The REMONSTRANCE of the Right Worshipful the GRAND MASTER, &c. of
the SCALD MISERABLE MASONS.

WIHEREAS by our Manifesto some time past, dated from our Lodge in
Brick-street, We did, in the most explicite manner, vindicate the
ancient rights and privileges of this society, and by incontestable
arguments evince our superior dignity and seniority to all other
institutions, whether Grand-Volgi, Gregorians, Hurlothrumbians,
Ubiquarians, Hiccubites, Lumber-Troopers, or Free-Masons; yet,
nevertheless, a few persons under the last denomination, still
arrogate to themselves the usurped titles of Most Ancient and
Honorable, in open violations of truth and justice; still endeavour
to impose their false mysteries (for a premium) on the credulous
and unwary, under pretence of being part of our brotherhood; and
still are determin'd with drums, trumpets, gilt chariots, and other
unconstitutional finery, to cast a reflection on the primitive
simplicity and decent economy of our ancient and annual
peregrination. We ourselves think proper, in justification of
Ourselves, publicly to disclaim all relation or alliance
whatsoever, with the said society of Free-Masons, as the same must
manifestly tend to the sacrifice of our dignity, the impeachment of
our understanding, and the disgrace of our solemn mysteries: AND
FURTHER, to convince the public of our candour and openness of our
proceedings, We here present them with a key to our prooession; and
that the rather, as it consists of many things emblematical,
mystical, hieroglyphical, comical, satirical, political, &c.

AND WHEREAS many, persuaded by the purity of our constitution, the
nice morality of our brethren, and peculiar decency of our rites
and ceremonies, have lately forsook the gross errors and follies of
the Free-Masonry, and are now become true Scald Miserables; It
cannot but afford a pleasing satisfaction to all who have any
regard to truth and decency, to see our procession increased with
such a number of proselytes; and behold those whose vanity, but the
last year, exalted them into a borrowed equipage, now condescend to
become the humble cargo of a sand cart."

"(Then follows the following)

A KEY OR EXPLANATION of the Solemn and Stately Procession of the
Scald Miserable Masons. Two Tylers, or Guarders In yellow Cockades
and Liveries, being the Colour ordained for the Sword Bearer of
State. They, as youngest enter'd 'Prentices, are to guard the
Lodge, with a drawn Sword, from all Cowens and Eves-droppers, that
is Listeners, lest they should discover the incomprehensible
Mysteries of Masonry.

A Grand Chorus of Instruments,

To wit: Four Sackbutts, or Cow's Horns; Six Hottentot Hautboys;
four.tinkling Cymbals, or Tea Canisters, with broken Glass in them;
four Shovels and Brushes; two Double Bass Dripping pans; a Tenor
Frying-pan; a Salt-box in Dclasol; and a pair of Tubs.

Ragged enter'd 'Prentices

Properly cloathed, giving the above token, and the Word, which is
Jachin.

The Funeral of Hyram

Six stately unfledg'd Horses with Funeral Habilaments and
Caparisons, carrying Escutcheons of the arms of Hyram Abiff, viz.
a Master's lodge, drawing, in a limping halting posture, with
Solemn Pomp, a superb open hearse, nine Foot long, four Foot wide,
and having a clouded Canopy, Inches and Feet innumerable in
perpendicular Height, very nearly resembling a Brick Waggon: In the
midst, upon a Throne of Tubs raised for that Purpose, lays the
Corps in a Coffin cut out of one entire Ruby; but for Decency's
sake, is covered with a Chimney-sweeper's Stop-cloth, at the head
of a memorable Sprig of Cassia. Around in mournful Order placed,
the loving, weeping, drunken Brethren sit with their Aprons, their
Gloves they have put in their Pockets; at Top and at Bottom, on
every side and everywhere, all round about, this open hearse is
bestuck with Escutcheons and Streamers, some bearing the Arms, some
his Crest, being the Sprig of Cassia, and some his Motto, viz.
Macbenah.

Grand band of Musick as before
Two Trophies

Of arms or achievements, properly quarter'd and emblazon'd, as
allow'd by the college of arms, showing the family descents, with
some particular marks of distinction, showing in what part of the
administration that family has excelled. That on the right the
achievement of the right worshipful Poney, being Parte Perpale,
Glim, and Leather-dresser, viz. the Utensils of a Link and
Black-shoe-Boy: That on the left the trophy of his excellency,--
Jack, Grand-master elect, and Chimney-sweeper.

The Equipage

Of the Grand-master, being neatly nasty, delicately squaled, and
magnificently ridiculous, beyond all human bounds and conceivings.
On the right the Grandmaster Poney, with the Compasses for his
Jewel, appendant to a blue Ribband round his neck: On the left his
excellency--Jack, with a Square hanging to a white Ribband, as
Grand-master elect: The Honourable Nic. Baboon, Esq.; senior grand
Warden, with his Jewel, being the Level, all of solid gold, and
blue Ribband: Mr. Balaam van Assinman, Junior Warden, his Jewel the
Plumb-Rule.

Attendants of Honour

The Grand Sword Bearer, carrying the Sword of State. It is worth
observing, This Sword was sent as a Present by Ishmael Abiff (a
relative in direct Descent to poor old Hyram) King of the Saracens,
to his grace of Wattin, Grand-Master of the Holy-Lodge of St. John
of Jerusalem in Clerkenwell, who stands upon our list of
Grand-masters for the very same year. The Grand Secretary, with his
Insignia & Probationists and Candidates close the Procession.
Tickets to be had, for three Megs a carcass to scran their
Pannum-Boxes, at the Lodge in Brick-Street, nearlHide-Park Corner;
at the Barley-Broth Womens at St. Paul's Church-Yard, and the
Hospital Gate in Smithfield; at Nan Duck's in Black-Boy-Ailey,
Chick Lane, & & &. Note. No Gentlemen's Coaches, or whole Garments,
are admitted in our Procession, or at the Feast."

AMERICA IN THE WORLD'S WAR

'Tis not for love of gain we go
To war upon a foreign shore;
'Tis not to force submission to
A tyrant's will of murderous gore;
But rather 'tis an act to point
The way to heights yet unattained,
That unborn nations yet to come
May ne'er by bloody war be stained;
That justice, truth and liberty
Shall guide, direct and triumph in
Each nation's act on land or sea,
To hush the deafening battle's din;
That true regard for human rights
Vouchsafe to all shall ever be,
And disenthralled from wrong and greed
Each nation's conduct shall be free.
Though we descend from realms of peace
Into the fiery war cloud's smoke;
'Tis not to win the victor's crown
Or deal a foe a deadly stroke;
But that with loving hands we reach
Into the nation's boiling pot;
The crucible of cruel war
Where struggling empires cast their lot
And help refine and elevate
Each noble sentiment inspired;
To break oppression's galling yoke
Where millions have expired.
That true democracy shall be
The light and guide to liberty
And noble heritage bequeathed
To countless millions yet to be.
--W. S. Vawter, Texas.

REQUIEM

Pray which died first, and was buried
Thy heart or thy hand the last ?
Was unspent love thy last passion,--
A sword in thy hand held fast?

No gem or gold of thy treasure
Held close to thy heart in death
Excels in value the nlessage
That died on thy parting breath.

Was Justice swift or too tardy,
Did Virtue or Vanity gain,
Was Duty joyous or irksome,
Did Wisdom or Folly reign ?

To live, to love, and to languish
With visions of Truth replete,--
To dare to dream unto dying,
Perchance was thy life complete ?

Perchance some stream that is hidden
May burst from a blasted stone,
Here lost, dissolved through the ages,
May flow from thy source unknown.

Of Truth, like rain from the heavens,
Like snow on the mountain sheer,
No drop, distilled through the sages,
Is lost, but will reappear.

For God's footrule is a million,
And ours is the inch and ell.
The weave and woof of thy merit
His measure alone may tell.
--James T. Duncan.
