the way I do. I do my best to help my friends through thier troubles. But when they try to help me, I
refuse and dont listen. I set bad examples for those I try to help. They see my negative attitude and
wonder why the hell they should try and get better. I tell them the same thing over and over again.
...Because...Your'e not like I am. You shouldnt have to go through what I do. I am they way I am
because I chose to be. You are that way because others want you to. They tear at you. They be-
little you. They say the worst things to you just to see you in anguish. THey want you to hurt. So like
I said...Don't be like me. You'll end up dead fast. Some of you think I am a good kid. Nice and all
that. But that is just my social personality. You dont wanna know the real me. I'll be updateing this
page often. So keep up and check it whenever you get a chance. That is if ya care anyway.
10/23/03 Thursday
Wow today sucked. First hour I was called a cheater, so I threw my books against the wall and left
class. I then pulled out a dictionary from the library and looked up the defonition of vex. It reads like
this: To annyoy, as with petty importunaties; bother. To cause perplexity in; puzzle. To bring distress
or suffering to; plauge or afflict. To torment, make angry, harass, tease, irritate. Heh, that pretty
much sums me up. An annoying, irritateing, stupid fuckup. I'll never go anywhere in life. I wonder
sometimes why I even try to better myself. I'm pretty sure my football team hates me now because I
keep getting them up-downs in football practice. Sometimes...I just wish I could kill myself and be
done with it.
10/24/03 Friday
We had a HUGE football game last night. It was for the conference champions...We lost, and now have to share it with Elmwood...Eeew. The whole teams spirits are down now. I hope they perk up soon. We have playoffs next week Tuesday. I was so upset that I didnt talk to anyone after the game. The crowd was so dumb that they didnt start trying to cheer for us until we were down by 20 with 4 minutes left in the fourth quarter. Im sorry about what I wrote yesterday. I get depressed sometimes. I'll get over it. I got some more done on my book last night. I'll try to post it a.s.a.p. Write to you all again tomorrow. Thanx for staying with me. Keep the posts coming in on the guest book. They make me happy ^_^.
10/28/03 Tuesday
I tried typeing this already but forgot to save it so fuck it. Ill tell you about our playoff game tomorrow.
10/29/03 Wednesday
Well I got my tooth fixed yesterday. It broke durring a swimming accident. Thats all I'll say about that. I made someone cry today. In a way, it was intentional. In a way, it wasn't. this person says things to me, and I say things back. Today I got really heated and went to far. I act as thought I am not thier friend, as if I hate them. But they don't kow how I really feel. Heh. not like it matters. I'll be going to a different school soon anyways. I wont need to see them any more. So they can talk all they want about me. I will write more later.
10/30/03 Thursday
I was in class with the person that I act like I hate again. I dont hate them...It is kinda funny that they think I do. I now have someone that wants to fight me. His friends call him wein...Short for weiner. I call him Dickhead. Heh, he thinks he stands a chance. Its funny 'cuz no one here has ever seen me truely angry. It will be funny if he tries anything cuz I will teach why most dont wanna fight black ppl. If your reading this Demon, Hi. If Josie Or Silver ever come to check this out...I love you both very much. oh and Demon...E muja oui silrac duu. ^_^ It is definate now that I am going to Maxville, the alternative school. I hope Everyone at this school (Pepin) hates me enough to talk about me while Im gone. Even my brother says bad things about me with his friends. In fact Wein is one of his good friends. Shows how my family relationships are. So for all of you here at Pepin who read this...Good bye...And for some of you...I hope never to see you again. And to the one I made cry...From the bottom of my heart..I am sorry. More later.
10/31/03 Friday
Halloween. Heh my one night to shine. I wonder how many ppl I will scare today. I found out that the person I made cry, her boyfriend is having an affair with his ex. I cant believe it. I could so use this to my advantage. But I wont. Im not that kinda person. Just as long as niether of them stumble upon my site. They prolly wont since they both hate the very mention of my name. I cant wait till monday when I wont have to put up with anyone I used to know. I know there are some ppl I will miss. My Friend Jessica Marks (I hope that is how ya spell it), Jenny Marvin, Ryan Lenz, Leah Linder, Leah Stewert, Kayla Bratner, Shawn Schmidt (I hope that is right), Adn the rest of the football team...The ones that will miss me anyway. Not like I would be much use. Well im still hopeing on getting my van today. Oh I almost forgot Loni Lerum. Well I will have more for you I believe on Monday. 'Till then.
12/23/03 Tuesday
Holy fucking balls. It's been HELLA days since I updated this. I wanted to tell you all Merry Christmas. I do have some bad news. A few weeks ago, I did attept to kill myself again. But its okay. Im fine. I feel better. I had a long talk to one of my friends who shall go nameless.
*Cough (Jessica Marcks) Cough*
Any way, I am at my school now typing this up. I got a g/f now of two weeks and three days. We went out dancing this past Saturday. It was great. Anyway. I hope to see some people on my new, up and running, guest book. I love ya all. Cya all next time.
12/30/03 Tuesday
Geez, another long week. This one was great lol. I went to work. Got a couple of $$'s, and ought some shirts. I went shopping with Lindsey and then went over to her house for a while. I got an X-box and a couple of games. Right now I am playing the sims (6:30 P.M. Central standard time) Well I hope everyone had a great non-demominational winter holidy (I like using big words ^_^). Well I hope that everyone has a happy new year as well. I love you all, my adoring friends, family, and random adoring fans of my site. May god be with you and bless your hearts. Oh and a special shout to my cuz Mia. Thx for the talk and the inspirational email. I cant wait to see ya in Florida ^_^. Well, 'till next time. Oh and I love you Cory, Zack, (saved the best for last) Mom. Ill update again soon.
01/01/04 Thursday
Well hello everyone. Only one week left untill it is my birthday. I finally turn 18 and will be able to go and get my drivers lisence. This will be great. Oh and an update. I have been getting complaints from people that dont like the links to my site. THEY SAY 18+ ON THEM! THAT MEANS THEY ARE MORE ADULT ORIENTED SITES! THEY BELONG TO MY FRIEND AND THIS IS MY SITE! I WILL HAVE WHATEVER LINKS ON HERE I WANT. Thank you. ANYWAYS, I have been trying to get ahold of some of my family and frineds in Cali. So mom, If you see this, tell John-John, John, Jennifer, Jessie, and Jessica that I said hey and I want them to call me. I realize this page is getting quite full so I will make a new one soon I believe. See you all later, and have a happy new year. I love you all.
01/05/04 Monday
Hey again. I cant wait. Only 3 more days till I turn 18. Its gonna be fun I hope lol. I wonder what Ill get. Im planning on making enough money to buy my car, but I doubt it. I need $1000 to get it lol. Its a good car though. Hmm lol I mightg just ad a paypal likk for thoes who wanna help, for my birthday of course lol. Anyway, Ill tell you all how my birthday goes when it is over. see you all later. And I love you all.
01/08/04 Thursday
It's My birthday...More later today.
01/09/04 Friday
Hey Sorry I missed you all yesterday. I had a great day. I talked to my mom and my family, and I watched a movie With Lynze. We watched 8 crazy nights. Good movie lol. Well I am glad to announce that I have started Chapter four. I will post it when I get at least half way through, which shouldnt take too long. Alright, I love you all. and if anyone has any info on how to contact square enix about legality rights lol let me know. Cya all later.
20041705 Monday
Gah, It has been AGES since I used this. I would like to inform you all that i am in the Navy now. Im cool, I know. Umm I would like to thank everyone on my dedivcations page, more here. I wouldnt have restarted this if it werent from them..They all helped in some way. My newest friend is Tinintri, She gave me a sticker and a cookie ^_^ YAY. Anyway, i will write more when I got more to write..Oh yeah, I am no longer living with my dad..I dun like it there..I havent spoken to him in almost a few weeks now. I am going to Cali in the summer, And I am due to graduate soon... THANX TANYA AND BRANDIN!!! Okay, ttyl. Love you all.
20041805 Tuesday
Today I went to school, I felt god. I had a bad night last night..I dont know why but I was all paniky...I was so paranoid, I almodt drove off the side of a cliff, just because I didnt think it would stop. I didnt do it of course....I saw things in my head..Things that made me decide not to..I will not discuss them here. Anyway, I hope all of you ade having a good time. I know I am, I feel so much better today. I got two days left of school, then I am DONE YEAH!!!!!! I cant wait. Oh and Binx, Kawmra, Scarlett, Tinintri, and Verity, Thank you all for the emotional support yesterday, I love you all, And roxy I love ya to, no matter what ya think ^_^ We will always be great friends no matter what ^_^. Anyway, I got other things I have to do, So I will talk to you all later. I love you All, Never forget that...And Alexia...Sis I hope things get better for you, and I hope everything turns out fine, Verity, just give him tinme like I said, And Roxy, I seriously think he is just hinting that he likes you....Just confront him on it. God luck. Im out for now.
20042005 Thursday
OH HELL YES, I am done with school. I MADE IT BABY YEAH. Anyway I just wanted to say sorry I didnt write yesterday, imma try to update this as often as possible. Oh yeah and umm, Iif anyone joins the navy, please use me as your refferal ^_~. OKay well I will see you all later, and dun be too shy to drop me a line dammit lol I vhave email...Ih yeah..I took outt he guest book, due to various....Violations..Ill leave it at this, I dun like being slandered...no names will be posted..but you know who you are... Okay well ttyl everyone.. ^_^.
20042105 Friday
Okay, Im here at CVTC (chippwa Valley Technical college) I am about to take my last GED test, the math one. I got my results back for the others, I passed then with flying colors. Okay well prey for me everyone. I love you all.
20042205 Saturday
I would like to start this one of by Thanking Magcat fullheartedly. he got me a dragon on Furcadia. It will last untill september, but untill then, ^_^ I will have fun with it. THANK YOU MAG ^_~. I would like to add a new name to the list of Dedications, well a few actually. Chii V.5.0, Carrmaa, Dragon Spit, Moonlight howl, and Hideki. I would like to let you all know that the first two of my 5 test scores cam back yesterday I got a 600 in social stidies and a 650 in reading, those both being out of 700 I think. ^_^ THANK YOU MS. NEWCOMB FOR HAVING FAITH IN ME. Okay well thats all I got for today, oh and DERIK THAT PARTY WAS WICKED, even though Kathy was A TOTAL FUCKING BITCH. OKay lol cya all next update.
20042505 Tuesday
Wel My weekend went smoothly, without a hitch. I got ecited ^_^ Today I got a message from Silver (Vex kinda g/f in the story)) That was cool, she got yahoomessenger again so now I can talk with her more. Ah and for everyone else in my book, it would be good for you all to get yahoo meesenger, that way we can keep in contact...I am MasterSquall2000 Add me lol. Oh thank you Jessica for teaching me not to hate anyone lol I know it is bad. I just get that way sometimes. Oh and SCARLETT lol Get me a pic of your char so I can post it..Same with everyone else on my dedications list who might what a photo posted. Send me it through email and I will post you up there. Much love to everyone. I will write back when something exiting happens lol, or am to board to do anything else.
20040206 Tuesday
Hey been a week lol, nothing much happening here, Ill keep ya posted if anything important happend though...Sorry to keep you all waiting.
20042606 Saturday
I havent written in a while. Not like many ready this anway. I have been doing a lot of thinking about things. Things I cannot say, but if you want to know, email me and I will tell ya. I helped Scarlett move this weekend. It was fun, her 'rents took us out to chinese food. It was awsome. I really wish I could figure out these things in my head. It confuses me to think about some of the things I do. I dun know why I do them. Sometimes I wonder about doing as Scarlett said and acting my age. But I know that if I did that, no one would like me. I dont have many friends as it is...I dont need to lose the ones I have. Im back in Cali with my mom right now for a visit. I want to appologise again for making you all wait so long before writing again. I havent really had the time or the net to do so, lol. I could have a few days ago, but thought better of it, just cuz I didnt want to. I got to see my moms new house finally, it was great. Big, and two stories, really open place. I have been having bad dreams again, and they are scaring me...I just put them out of mind for now. I love you all, I hope to get an email from someone...anyone.
20043006 Wednesday
I have been thinking alot about going into the navy. I want to do it, but I dun like the idea of leaving my friends behind. I wish there was some way to make everything work out.
20040307 Saturday
Hey, Havent been up to much. Updating my site has been very slow, I know. Sorry but you will have to deal with me on that. I dont have many oportunities to do so. I will write back as soon as I can...I hope you all dun get tired of waiting for me.
20040907 Friday
Hey there again. I havent dome much lately. I am sorta frustrated. Scarlett's parents keep thinking thy are catching us doing things. They dont get that they arent...THey get paranoid sometimes. GOd knows I love them, but they are trying to say they saw things that arent happening. I dont get it. THey think that THey are right because they look to me and I dont say anything. The truth is, I know they are wrong, but I see that there ish no way to argue that, and I dont like getting confrontational. I hate argueing so I figure, why try to prove them wrong and risk them hating me. I figure, just let them think what they will and continue to do as they say, like I have been doing. Sooner or later they will see that they were wrong all along. I just hope they realize soon. It hurts me to hear that they think I would do something like they say I do...Hell I get nervous even talking about sex, and sex related things. You can ask anyone I know. I may make sexual jokes from time to time, but when it comes down to it, half the things I joke about, scare me to think about. I guess what I am trying to say is, I really hope they dont think I would violate Scarlett in any way, shape or form. I will write again when I have more to say...good bye
20041607 Friday
Another while since I have updated, but I did it. Bad things going on lately...Lihan left Taski, I dun really understand why. I talked to her for a while about it. There was also more fighting at SCB earlier in the evening, between Nikita and Chaise16. I wish everyone was at peace...In other news, I updated this and I added new music to the site. I hope you enjoy. Oh yeah, Taskity's page has a new pic on it. ^_^ I love you all. Bye bye now.
20040308 Tuesday
Hey there. Im sorry to keep all you eager people waiting. I know you like to know about what ish happening with me. Im getting ready to go into the Navy. Im kinda spooked, but I dun let it show. I really am going to miss everyone. If you would like me to keep in contact with you, please email me your address, then I will do my best to write you. Dont expect a letter every week, but I will do my best okay? ^_~. If anyone would like to get a hold of me and ask me anything, just email me at [email protected] It ish my email address. I love you all.
20040708 Saturday
Hey everyone. I leave for WI tomorrow. Im shaky, I dun wanna leave...I didnt get to spend much time with my mom...I shoulda tried....I love you mom, dont you ever forget that okay? I hope you all do well in stockton....I will write more when I get the chance. I love you all, good night.
20041208 Thursday
Hey again. Once more, I have absolutely no clue why I am writing in here, no one is listening anyway...Im leaving for WI in a few days, looking forward to meeting Taski, and seeing some of my "friends" again. Anyway, I dont have anything else to say, I will prolly write again soon....
20041308 Friday
Told ya I would write soon. Been thinking about furc...Souketsu is really worried about his mate....but he feels like he should be alone anyway, cuz love never works for him....His Description reads as follows: I am destined to be alone, for all I have loved, I have lost. I am affraid to love, for I also fear being alone...Ironic huh? I guess fate has dealt me a dirty hand, and now I gotta play with these cards. I am the one who rides the wave of darkness. Thats what is says, and thats how he feels...I hope things get better for him.
20040830 Monday
I am at the airport...Minneapolis. Im waiting to ship out. Im a little nervous, but it will pass. I already have problems with my group...they are being dicks to me...I dont care, cuz once I get ot boot camp, I will do my best to avoid them. I love you everyone...Especially those that have done so much for me...Scarlett, Kawmra, Roxy, my mom and dad, Taskitty, Savie, Nocty, Chaise, Sulia. You all mean a great deal to me...I love you all with the best of my abilities...Do not forget me while I am gone.
30 OCT 04 Saturday
I have finished boot camp and I am now home until tomorrow on Speacial weekend Liberty. I graduated with ease, and we even got the rank of third best division on the entire base. I love being good. Even if I wasnt the best, haha. I hated it most of the time....but worst was battle stations..IM not going to get into it now..Ill write more later....right now...sleep time...
05 FEB 05 Saturday
I am sorry to say that within the next few weeks I will be teminating the site, I have no reason any more to continue, I have no insperation, and no one tells me what they think about it. Sop I dont even know if any one likes the fucking thing...Thanks for your support everyone, and I am sorry that it went to waste...Besides, the Navy consumes most of my time anyway, not that it matters, no one comes here, and if anyone really cared, they would email as I have asked several times...But dont bother now, because Im damn sure nothing is gonna change my mind on this one, you all had yer chance, I was patient, but my bounderies wear thin, and I am tired of living in false hope that I might actually have someone out there in this VAST VAST internet who might actually care enough to throw me a good job here or there, or tell em to keep up the good work. I have spent 4 years for nothing, and Im sorry I got everyones hopes up, Im a failure, nothing more. I dont know what else to say, except, Im sorry I couldt keep you all happy, give ya something you might like...This is the last entry...good bye.
ICFA Sorenson, Olin U.S. Navy
20FEB05 Sunday
I dont know what IU was thinking...buyt it has changed....I...have gotten some emails from a few people IO dont know....and some that I thought I would never hear from again...and one that I thought hated me...I...would like to publicly announce to my friend Andrea (Wish) for being the biggest asshole ever...I can only hope she will forgive me in time...Ill leave that at that. I have decided that I will post chapters 1-5, after that, no more, you gotta buy it...lest ye be onna the chars in my book, and they all know who they are...when the book is finished, sometime late this year or early next, I will need yer addy's so that I may have a copy sent to you. I thank those of you who read and responded for the needed insperation to keep it going...still looking for a good artist to draw the chars of the book for me...I will pay you either with a copy of the book, or I can send ya money for the pics...but I need them drawn...For those interested, please send me a photo ypou have drawn...I..cant just choose anyone ya know...*nods* thats all I have for now...I thank you all who come here....very much, ya dun know how much this means to me...oh yeah and I am sorry for all the typos, Im typing fast today and am too lazy to fix them, I'll do it later, haha.
11MAR05 Friday
I didnt do much today, been thinking about updating for a while now. Just didnt ever have the time. I have added a donate button to the site, even though I dont think anyone will. I dun care, never know if I dont try right? Ha, I did something for Scarlett today. Cant really say too much about it eccept I hope she likes it. Mag has been getting on my nerves, I havent talked to him in a while, he keeps being a deserter, and in the Navy that ish punishable by death. I got in trouble a few days ago. I fell asleep in the lounge at my school house. I gotta write a three page report by Monday, but I only have the basic Idea down. I will have more later, I have to get it done. I am wondering when Scarlett will get the package I sent her, it has been a while so far. I hope she gets it soon. Ill be able to prove to her Im serious about us getting married...I bet she still thinks we gonna live in a box. Meh, Ill prove her wrong. untill later, your friendly neighborhood gryphon signing off.
Vex Windarian
17APR05 Sunday
OMG I GOT TO TALK TO KAWMRA AGAIN AFTER TEN MONTHS. I found out she is okay. But I dont know what happened. I cried for a while, but hey you know what do you expect from me. I dont have much to say otherwise except we talked for a bunch of hours then I slept till noon haha. Bye bye for now ^_^.
22MAY05 Sunday
Wow, I havent written in here for a while...Since my ship went into yards (Repair period). I have missed you all (those who actually read this). I have been having some rough times lately, and people have been helping. I actually got a donation from paypal, so it does work, and some people do care ^_^. So whoever did that, Thank you kindly. I have been talking to a new friend of mine, Sabarika. She ish cool beans. I might go to anthrocon wiff her and her dood. ^_^ That will be fun. I am planning a trip to see Scarlett soon. you know what that means...IM GOING TO MAUI AGAIN!!!! YEAH!!!!! lol that place is so awsome lol. Anyway, Ill try and update more, since I am online just about every day. Much love to all my fans and supporters. ttyl.