| copyright Samatha
Swanson 2004 |
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My heart is torn two ways,
To follow my happiness is to hurt another,
To make that one happy is to hurt myself,
Which choice is right?
I don't know.
For now I will sit here and wonder,
I will sit here and mourn,
For in the pit of my stomach lies a fear,
A fear that I will loose the one thing that has come to matter,
the one thing that showed me how to truly care again.
My heart says make them happy,
My mind says it is my turn to be happy,
I don’t trust my heart any more.
It has hurt me too often,
But I don’t have the ability to be selfish.
I am incapable of denying some one so dear what they need.
If, if what they need is for me to hurt,
Then I will.
If what they need is for me to bleed,
Then I will.
If what they need is for me to be abused again,
I will bear it.
If, if what they need is for me to die,
Then I will die happy.
I will die happy knowing they are now, truly, happy.
I wrote this for some one who taught me how to live, he taught me how to be alive
again he taught me that it was okay to be selfish and that sometimes it was a require ment. Blair, I thank
you. You have given me more than you could ever know. Take care babe.
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