Mastercrafted Musicals

Sweeney Boy

Musicals are wicked awesome!

who you callin pinhead pinhead

I love musicals so much, I love everything about musicals. Musicals are my favorite for a number of reasons.

It's easy to get the bug in your head of a showtune that you can't stop singing to, acting is really fun and it's always a blast to act on stage, the musicals are timeless, it's just all great!

So now that I've gotten my beloved Geocities.ws to work again

I'm very happy to start a new section for my fanbase that I call

MASTERCRAFTED MUSICALS!

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What is up fellow stagecraft sluts, I gotta say if there's one thing I love in this world, it is broadway. Broadway is truly the peak

of human performance, and it's very easy to see why. A lot of people say that professional wrestling is the most athletic competition

out there, but I firmly disagree.

On broadway, you don't just sing.

nononono

No, on broadway: you sing, dance, smile, and act, often all at once. Leave it to the

professionals

These professionals are some of the most talented people on Earth, and now it is my pleasure to introduce a slew of shows that showcase

exactly why people from all around the world call broadway "the real city of stars" and why under those bright stage lights, anything is possible.

A couple will be some shows, some will be actors, just really anything that tickles my fancy.

The Fantasticks

the dream

The Fantasticks is this blissful work of art that's resonated with me for years now and has left this feeling inside me almost like a sort of prestine-melancholy feeling

in that Fantasticks serves as a reminder that no matter how bad life may get, if you have true love in your life, you are truly never alone.

haha

nice

But in reality, Fantasticks is one of the best musicals I've ever seen. It's this bizarre musical from the 1960s that focuses on two families in a small village.

On one side of the wall is one farmer and his son.

And on the other side is another farmer and his daughter.

And there's these two kids, Matt and Luisa, who are beyond in love despite their families being completely against it.

Sound familiar?

Well it shouldn't, don't judge a book by it's cover, cunt.

See, little do these two lovebirds know that all this time those two waring fathers with nothing but Romeo and Juliet level hate for one another...

are actually friends. Good friends, at that! Yes, this whole time, everything from the wall to their rivalry has all been a work as a way to get

their kids to fall in love. And it works! Following a plan to hire a Spanish actor, El Gallo, to rape (kidnap) the daughter in order to get the son to save her

to look super romantic, the two children grow in love and the wall goes down,

But not everything is perfect. Like many others, soon, the two lovers grow apart. Following a huge argument, the two break up, with Lucisa staying

in the village and Matt going off to see the world outside his provincial town. Lost in a world he does not understand, Matt winds up in a traveling circus, where

he is abused, tormented, and harassed on a daily basis in exchange for less than minimum wage, while Lucisa becomes a somber statue of a girl, sitting by her window

dreaming of a day when Matt comes back. Ultimately, in the end, Matt does come back in time to save Lucisa from the grip of El Gallo who wants to show her the world

(but more so just because he knows it will bring Matt and Lucisa back together), and the two reunite as El Gallo reminds the two farmers that they must always

leave the wall so the lovers can remember the times that brought them close and the times that pushed them away.

It's a beautiful masterpiece, and that is why The Fantasticks will always be my all time favorite musical.

Blood Brothers

sexy colors

Blood Brothers grips at the heart strings in a way that I can't quite say other musicals have.

Maybe not as much as, say, "Rent"...

Ah, nah, Rent sucks that was a funny joke I'm a real comedian now.

Blood Brothers is one I can relate to on a slightly personal level, but Blood Brothers is big to me because it's a story that I feel most

people can really relate to. The story centers around two boys, Mickie and Eddie, who grow up near the same are but with two entirely different lives.

Where as Mickie grows up a scrappy kid in poverty, Eddie is a privilaged rich kid with an overprotective mother, but the day these two meet is the day

they grow inseperable. After one moves to a different city, the two kids go on to not hear from each other for years to come. Until one day in university.

Fast forward ten years or so. Mickie is still a bad teen, smoking, not trying to hard in school, that such; where as Eddie is a studious fella with a certain dilema.

He's got no game. So out of nowhere, Mickey and Eddie run into each other in a field while thinking about what they lack and how they wish they could be like "the guy over there",

not realizing that that guy over there is that childhood best friend they knew years ago.

Reunited at last, Eddie and Mickey catch up on the years and grow back to being the best of friends.

I'm not gonna spoil anything else, because this is the kind of musical that you need to immerse yourself in.

It's a special musical that I tip my fedora to because it will hold a grip on you the entire time.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

big boy

Andrew Lloyd Webber. Where does one begin about Andrew Lloyd Webber?

In the dog eat dog world of Broadway, there are two heavy hitters that have brought on some of the biggest hits that Broadway had ever seen.

And that is Andrew Lloyd Webber and Stephen Sondheim.

Now, don't worry, I'm gonna get into Sondheim soon, but I wanted to use this section more or less to talk about such a fine speciman as

Andrew

Lloyd

Webber

Andrew is a phenom in broadway. It's absolutely worth note that this man had built a career off some of the catchiest tunes the industry had ever heard.

Some of his hits includes:

Jesus Christ Superstar

Evita

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

and, yes, even Cats.

So to stay this guy was an innovator is an understatement. Oh yeah this section is about Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Yeah it's pretty good.

Donny Osmond

Oh come on, everbody knows who Donny Osmond is. He's bigger than Jesus here in 1999. This isn't actually a section about him, I just think he's handsome.

Clifford, roll the footage:

big dog eat tonight

nice

WOW

WHATASPECIMAN

Rent

The GOAT

Sucks, next.

Bernadette Peters

leftdette middledette rightdette

THE BADDEST BITCH

Bernadette Peters is an actual goddess and is literally the most talented human being, ever.

Bernadette has the voice of a literal angel. I contemplated including a "Sunday in the Park With George" section, but, with all due respect

to the great Mandy Patinkin, I feel like he would agree with me in that this is the right choice to make. Bernadette has a voice that could

make the biggest and toughest men weep, bar none. With a variety of roles from Annie Get Your Gun all the way to Sunday in the Park With George,

Bernadette Peters is as big of a legend as this industry can get. Bernadette's voice is so sweet that everytime I hear her rendition of "We Do Not Belong Together"

in Sondheim' classic, Sunday in the Park with-yeahyeahyougetit, I am moved to tears without fail. That whole musical is a powerful work of art, which is expected from Sondheim.

stroke tender

Sondheim is a master of his craft, which is shown by him casting Bernadette, but for reference to the maddening genius that he is,

take a look at his impressive resume:

Pacific Overtures

Sunday in the Park With George

Sweeney Todd

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

Follies

Into the Woods

! ! ! THAT IS WILD ! ! !

Honestly, all of those musicals except for Into the Woods deserve their own section, especially Sweeney Todd which, if you couldn't tell from

the header image, is, perhaps, one of my top five favorite musicals and, to me, one of the most iconic musicals of all time.

But with all respect to Sondheim and his work, this section is about the glorious Bernadette Peters.

Bernadette is the boss of Broadway, an absolute badass who's not just gorgeous but also

FUNNY

One of the funniest people I've ever seen. I saw Bernadette on Broadway once, and, multiple times, she tried to make her fellow

cast members crack up, and I can't quite tell if they did because I was too busy wiping the tears from my eyes and I couldn't hear the

other cast members laughing either over the thunderous sound of the audience themselves laughing. Bernadette is amazing at improv, it was

unbelievable to watch. In one part, she managed to make the audience continously laugh for over four minutes straight...

without saying a single word.

That's right, she didn't even say anything, all she did was just eat dinner. And it was amazing.

I wanted Bernadette's section to be a blank black on white so everyone could read her section the easiest, because if you look up "talent" in the

Oxford Dictionary, a large picture of Bernadette Peters pops up, and I understand why completely.

My Favorite Songs/Honorable Mentions That I Feel Should Still Get A Shoutout

My Favorite Musicals

Annie

My Fair Lady

The Sound of Music

West Side Story

Little Shop of Horrors

Young Frankenstein

You're A Good Man Charlie Brown

Snoopy The Musical

Wicked

Avenue Q

Billy Elliot

Jersey Boys

Chicago

A Chorus Line

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Sweeney Todd

Bye Bye Birdie

Fiorello!

AND MANY MANY MORE

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