Dying Alone

"I never thought,
I'd die alone,
I laughed the loudest who'd a know
I traced the cord back to the wall,
no wonder it was never plugged in at all." -Blink 182, Adam's song

Maria woke up another morning in Michael's bed. He had eventually bought a bed, coming to his senses that he didn't have to sleep without comfort on a couch for the rest of his existence. Maria slowly opened one eye, then the other to see and feel a sleeping Michael by her side.

They had been together for around 2 months and for the past month Maria and Michael had made an a point to get together at least one night a week. Yet on these mornings, Maria could never enjoy them because she was always running off at the crack of dawn to get home, desperately afraid her mother would find out. Luckily, so far so good though. She put her hands on Michael's arm and pushed him lightly to wake him up.

He wearily opened his eyes and squinted at the new found morning. "Morning" He said gloomily as his body moved up and began putting some clothes on.

While Michael had been slowly awaking, Maria had been getting up and dressed and ready for her departure. "Michael, I'm not feeling so hot today, and I need to get home before mom wakes up, or else I am dead meat. Also we've got school to deal with, Bye." She said as she attempted to walk out the door.

Michael quickly grabbed her and kissed her then shoved her playfully out the door. "See-ya." He said as he laughed and continued getting dressed. Once he heard the door close he flopped back down and began going back to sleep.

Maria swiftly opened the door up again, "Michael, get up, we've got school!" She yelled across the room to him as she poked her head in and then she officially left and headed home.

Michael groaned and got up to do his morning routine, which consisted of showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing his teeth, and getting whatever books he may have decided to bring home.

Maria almost didn't make it home, she rushed through the front door and bolted to the bathroom. After she finished her regurgitating she walked to her room, messed up her bed sheets to look like she had slept in them and went to wake up her mom…Only to find that her mother wasn't home.

"Great" She said aloud, "My mother had another night at Valenti's home, this is just plain gross." Then she felt herself getting sick again and ran once more to the toilet, knelt down and released. 'This is not good.' She thought to herself.

Maria walked the halls of school, if it weren't for her Spanish test today, she wouldn't even had bothered to come, but now she was stuck in the middle of a crowded hallway, trying to make it to her locker.

She barely heard Liz walk up next to her, "Hey Maria, how's it going?" She asked in her usual manner.

Maria looked at Liz, "Liz I honestly don't know what's wrong, I mean I woke up this morning at Michael's fine, I felt a little sick but not bad, I came home and literally everything I ate these past few days came back up. It was horrible, and now I just feel so awful. My stomach is killing me and I feel dizzy and just plain sick."

Liz could tell Maria wasn't lying; she looked really pale and sickly. "Damn, Maria if I'm late again for U.S government my teacher will have my head, but take some Echinacea or some Tylenol, something to help you feel better, I'll talk to you later, feel better." She said as she rushed off determined not to be late.

Next, Maria could just feel Michael's presence next to her. He twirled her around and moved in for a kiss when Maria's hand came between them. "Uh huh, no sorry Michael, I've got something, like the flu or a virus and I don't want you to get it too, or anyone else, sorry."

Michael shrugged it off and put his arm around her shoulder, "Walk you to the next class?" He asked causally.

For the first time that afternoon she felt better, "Yeah sure."

After school, Maria stopped off at the local CVS, to pick up some medication for herself. She felt so awful, like she could pass out at any minute.

Yet she continued down the isles, stopping when she got to the flu medicines, "Yeah, this one should do." She muttered to herself several times as she picked out a few bottles of stuff to help ease her virus. As she turned around to walk to the checkout counter she stopped and looked at the pregnancy tests, which stood on the opposite shelf as the medications. She stared at them for several minutes before reaching out and grabbing one. Her heart stopped several times whenever she thought about the fact that she could be pregnant, true her monthly visitor hadn't come yet and it was late, but she had never been regular so obviously she thought nothing of it. She didn't want to take any risks thought and so quickly she reached out her hand and grabbed the box. She took a deep breath in and then walked to pay for her purchases.

"I'm too depressed
to go on,
you'll be sorry when I'm gone,
I never conquered when you came 16
just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside the world." -Blink 182, Adam's song.

Once she got home Maria flopped on her bed and read through the entire instructions of the test. She wasn't overly nervous, she was nervous, yes, but not as much as she probably should have been. She just didn't think it was true, and that it was just to be cautious in making sure it was just a virus and not a tiny fetus growing inside of her.

"So I wait two minutes and if it's blue it's good, pink is bad, got it!" She said as she set it down on the table and went to read the latest edition of Teen People. "Oh! Freddie Prinze Jr, you just get hotter and hotter each picture." She said aloud as she stared at his pictures and read through the articles.

She looked at her watch a little while later and realized it had been 10 minutes and that she could have looked at the test 8 minutes ago. She got up and walked over to where she had placed it down. She picked it up in her hands before she even looked at it.

She took one glance at it and her hands shook so badly that she dropped the test and stared at the wall in shock. After she lunged for the phone and immediately dialed Liz's number.

"Hello" She heard her friends voice from the other line.

"Liz, you need to come over quickly, don't ask, just come." With that she dropped the phone on the receiver and just sat on her couch, shivering. 'Should I call Michael?' She pondered in her head. She didn't know how he would react. He would probably he furious and completely upset. 'But he is the father.' Her mind was just going in all different directions and at the moment, she didn't know black from white.

About 10 minutes later Liz rushed into the house thinking Maria was on her deathbed or something like that. She looked over to see Maria on the couch, lifeless.

Liz walked over and sat next to Maria. "Ok, what's the big deal for me to rush over here, thinking you were dying?" Liz wasn't upset, just curious what had caused Maria's worries.

"Look on the table." Maria said to her as she remained sitting against the couch.

Liz leaned in and looked to see what Maria wanted her to. She recognized it right away to be a pregnancy test. "Oh my God, Maria, do you know what this means?" She asked astonished.

Maria got up off the couch and paced around the room, "Yes, yes Liz I do know what this means, it means I have a fricking baby growing inside my stomach, a 1/2 alien, 1/2 human baby! And I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do." With that Maria walked over and hugged Liz, she really wanted all the support she could get.

"You have to tell Michael." Liz suggested to her.

Shaking her head, Maria said, "No, Liz I cannot tell Michael, I won't tell him yet. He would be so furious at me; he probably won't ever want to see me again. I can't do that to him or myself. Besides he never even has to know, I can just get it removed, you know."

A confused look spread over Liz's face. "Maria, we're talking about a baby here not a mole! And Michael has a right to know, he's the father and he may be your biggest comfort source you have."

Maria walked into the kitchen, followed by Liz, she found her keys and looked at Liz, "Look, I can't deal with this all now, I'm going out, and please don't tell anyone." With that she slammed the door shut behind her, leaving a frustrated Liz.

"Max, I tell you, things are just going really great now, you know. I mean everything is just, good." Michael said as he and Max drove in the jeep on their way to the Crashdown.

Max smiled at his friend's happiness "Michael, I am happy for you, it's about time you got some happiness and not all gloomy and dismal all the time."

"Look Max, I mean I *really* like Maria, and I think I'm in love with her. I don't know what to do yet though. I've never been to these stages before. It's like an adventure without a map. Do me a favor though; don't tell anyone though, not even Isabel. I want this to be just between you and me." Michael said as they parked the car on the side of the street.

Max turned his head to Michael, "Yeah, of course. Between you and me." He repeated.

"Oh damn, Max, can I borrow the car, I need to pick up some bread for the apartment, I meant to do it earlier but it slipped my mind, mind if I borrow?" Michael asked sincerely.

An answer to his question was the set of keys thrown his way, "No accidents." Max said as he walked into the Crashdown where Isabel was already seated in a booth.

"Hey Isabel." Max said as he sat down.

Isabel smiled at him and repeated a greeting towards him. Right after Liz walked over to them. "What will you guys have?" She asked in a daze.

Max furrowed his brow, "Liz is everything alright? You seem really distracted." He hated when he didn't know what was wrong with her.

"Huh? Oh what? Um, no It's just Mar-- It's nothing...nothing at all." She stared down at the notepad hoping they didn't hear her slip.

Isabel looked at Liz, "No, Liz you were about to say Maria, what's wrong with Maria?" Isabel asked sternly.

Liz shook her head, "Guys, come on, I can't tell you, I promised." When she saw the look they were both giving her, she leaned in more to them and said "I guess you guys will probably find out another way anyhow, Maria seems to be, um, she's kind of, pregnant with Michael's baby." She whispered in a serious tone.

Max and Isabel just stared at her and then at each other, they both didn't have the foggiest idea as what to say.

Liz straightened herself up, "Look, guys, do not say anything. Especially not Maria that I told you, please, I mean I would have rather I told you that you dream walk and find out, but just keep it on the low-down, I have to go take some orders." She said and then left, without even taking Max and Isabel's orders, not that they were even hungry anyways.

Right after Liz left Michael walked in saw his two friends and sat down next to Max. He saw the look on Isabel's face and said to Max, "She knows, you told her? Max can't you hold anything back?" Michael said furiously.

Isabel was confused. "Wait, he knows, and you knew before! I thought Liz said only Maria and her knew? How did Michael find out?" She asked rather quickly, realizing after seeing the look on Max's face and that Michael must have been talking about something different.

Michael looked at Isabel, "Isabel, tell me right now what are you talking about?" he demanded.

Max finally spoke up and said, "Michael, Maria is, well she's pregnant, with your baby. We didn't mean to tell you, we thought Maria would tell you. We just found out a few minutes ago so don't blame us for not saying anything." Max wanted to block his ears, not wanting to hear Michael's comments.

Nodding his head Michael said, "Very funny, ha, ha, ha, now seriously what were you talking about Is?" he asked again. Then he saw the looks on their faces and looked over to see a gloomy Liz and realized it was the truth. "What the hell, how the hell did you guys find out before me? I need to find Maria." Was the last thing he said before rushing out of the Crashdown, leaving his bag of groceries on the floor.

"I took my time
I hurried up
The choice was mine
I didn't think enough" -Blink 182, Adam's song.

Maria walked down the streets of Roswell. The sidewalks were usually crowded this time of day, it was a good time for her to blend in with the crowds. She never seemed to notice how many mothers were outside all the time with their newborns and sometimes a husband at the side. She closed her eyes briefly, thinking how just this morning she thought all she had was the flu. Now she was dealing with a whole new ball game.

Michael's first reaction was to go to Maria's house. He needed to see her, tell her he wasn't ready for this, and that he couldn't do the whole father-deal. 'I should have just kept away from her, and kept my distance. Now I've got two strings attached to me.' He said inside his head. After knocking unsuccessfully on the front door he decided to try her window. She usually kept it open for him anyways.

He walked over to where he had many times before, he looked in her room to find it empty but decided to check the house out. Once he was inside he walked down the hallways and through some rooms to find that the house was completely desolated. "Damn." He said to himself.

He had to think, she wouldn't be at Liz's because she was working and she wouldn't be upstairs by herself, she's not home, she wouldn't to Alex's yet, I doubt he even know, although Max and Isabel did know.

Maria sat down on an empty bench to contemplate her options. There was always abortion. It still wasn't too late, that way Michael would never have to know about it. But was that fair to Michael? No she would have to tell him before she did it, if she did it. There were other options obviously. There was keeping the baby, for a moment Maria picture herself with a little boy in tow of her and Michael walking down the streets happily, a boy with a small frame and spiky brown hair. But then she quickly erased the thought, knowing that would never happen. There was adoption, but could she really go through the pain of having to leave a baby after seeing it for real?

Michael was now walking down the streets of Roswell, going to places where he thought he might find Maria. He too was noticing more babies with their parents outside today. Suddenly a wave of guilt rushed over him. He had been so worried about himself and what he was going to do now, he didn't even think of how Maria was doing. She must be in complete chaos of herself now. His need to find Maria was even stronger now.

Maria saw Michael before he saw her, he was walking down the streets in deep thought obviously. Yet he was walking like he was on a mission. "Damn" Maria said as she tried to get up and walk away but she didn't have the will to do it.

Michael right after saw her sitting there and he rushed over to her. "Maria" He said calling her name, he felt so horrible when he saw her, her face was tear streaked and she looked in distress. "Maria we need to talk."

She looked at him sadly, then reality crashed into her. "You know, don't you." She could see it in his eyes that he had found out already. "I tell one person and they can't keep there mouth shut, serves me right. You know Michael, don't worry, if you ever get your big chance at home, you don't have to worry, I'm getting rid of it. You won't have to worry about a thing, you can go back living life and so can I. As soon as I can I will get it out of me, and then you won't have to worry anymore." She was about to leave, go home, go anywhere but where he was. She didn't know when she had decided to pin him down as the enemy, she just kind of said what was in her mind.

He held his hand out to keep her from getting up. "Can I get a word in?" He asked minorly agitated. "Yeah, I do know, and I don't understand why I wasn't the first one you came to, I thought we were close enough for this stuff? I guess I was wrong there. Listen though, I don't want you to form your decision on me. You do what you want to do. I won't lie to you though and say I'm happy that this is happening. It doesn't have to be a bad thing though. Whatever you decide I will be fine with." He stopped a moment to catch his breath and see her reaction.

Maria saw there, she was waiting for him to say one thing she needed to hear more that anything. One sentence that would determine the rest of her life.

Michael's eyes softened as he began his next statement, "Maria, whatever course of action you take, I'll be with you all the way."

On the verge of tears Maria smiled at him, that's exactly what she needed to hear from him.

"Give all my things
To all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
you close it off
board it up
remember the time
that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault." -Blink 182, Adam's song.

Maria suddenly felt strange. I mean this was Michael, the same Michael who last year she would have voted him in the top 10 creepiest guys out there. She didn't know what had caused his sudden change in personality, she had expected him to be rude and then get cold and distant. While it was nice that he was being 'Mr. Supportive' She still felt awkward a little bit.

"Do I dare asked what has brought this change in personality?" She meant it as a joke, she hoped he didn't take it the wrong way.

Michael just looked at her for a moment, "What? I can't be supportive? Yeah a lot has changed in the past months, you can't still think I'm some monster do you?" Michael was very apprehensive of what her answer would be.

Maria also just glared at him. "Michael I didn't mean it that way, I just felt...I don't know what I felt, I don't even know why I asked the question, I guess I meant it as a joke, you know kidding around and mocking you, it's what we do best, we make fun of each other." She was trying to help the mood, mission not accomplished.

He put a tad of distance between him and her. "Yeah I know Maria, so what are you saying though, you don't see me as the type of guy who will be a supportive boyfriend and father?"

Maria tried to hide her smile when she heard him say the word 'boyfriend' He'd never called himself that to her or anyone else. She liked the way it rolled off his tongue. Then when she came back down to reality, his words cut her like a dull knife.

Michael saw how his words affected her, immediately he knew he had jumped the gun and that Maria didn't mean anything by her words, just that she was surprised by his affection. 'Damn you Guerin.' He said to himself mentally. "Look, Maria, I'm sorry, let's start over." He suggested to her.

Maria liked that idea, she could go with that. "Yeah, it sounds really good to me Michael."

Michael nodded, "Hi Maria, I know about the baby, I will be there for you whenever you need me, and when you don't, I'm not mad about the baby, surprised yes, but upset and mad, no. And would you like to go get a drink?" He said it in a scripted way, but it amused Maria, which was his goal.

Maria was the first to get up, then she pulled him up. "Works for me."

On their way to the Crashdown, Maria and Michael saw a mother, her husband, and their two little twins in a carriage, looking just like a family to come out of the Brady Bunch. Maria looked at Michael with a sad, "aww..." Look on her face.

Michael knew exactly when she was thinking, "Your time will come." He said to her before grabbing her hand.

"Winter's years cold
And bitter
It chills us to the bone
Haven't seen the sun for weeks
To long to far from home
Feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
And pull nobody under too
I never thought I could feel so low
But oh darkness I feel like letting go
But all of the strength all of the courage
Couldn't life me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this" -Sarah Mclachlan, Fall from Grace.

Maria sat on Liz's bed in her room while Liz sat in her chair. "I still don't know what to do though Liz, I mean I know I have Michael's full support in anything I do, but I don't want him to have any setbacks if he needs to leave, and I don't want to ruin my future. I may not know exactly what I want to do what I get older, but I know I don't want to be a single mother of 7 living off of welfare, it just wouldn't be fair to me or them." Her and Liz were trying to think of their next course of action.

Liz was seeing what Maria was going through and thanked God that she didn't have to deal with this stuff, she just felt so horrible for her friend. "Well, you know your options Maria, there is keeping it, which I know you're not too keen on that idea, then there is adoption, and lastly there is having an abortion, but I know how you feel about that. You have to remember that the this decision has to be yours, and yours alone. Don't do something you will regret because of Michael or someone else. You have to plan your own future Maria, and only you can do that."

On the bed Maria brought her knees up to rest her chin on them. "Yeah I know I can't keep them, first off there is my mom who doesn't even know I have this baby yet. I can't go through what my mom went through, raising a baby so early in life. And I know I can't have my baby, see the baby Michael and I made and then give it to a stranger, I mean we don't even know if the baby will be...A Czech or not. It will be a hybrid, oh god, my baby's going to be a hybrid." Maria was beginning to get hysterical now.

"Ok, calm down. If you want my opinion." Liz waited a minute till she saw Maria nod her head. "You may not want to hear this, but it seems to me that you've kind of already made your decision."

Liz saw how Maria's gaze went from her and then drifted down towards her feet. "You're right." She said in a quiet, lonely voice. "I just don't know how I am going to do this. How am I going to get through this?" She was asking herself more than she was asking Liz.

Liz went over and sat next to her on the bed, she put an arm around her shoulder to comfort her, knowing right now she needed comfort more than anything. "Like I said before Maria, right now I think Michael is your biggest source of comfort now, he'll help you get through this, as will I. All of us, all your friends will help you through this. I promise you, that you will not have to deal with this by yourself."

Maria got up off the bed and walked towards the door. "You mind if I leave? I really just want to go, think things through with myself, make sure I'm making the right choice." She saw Liz nod her head and then Maria left to go think.

Somehow her car just ended up at Michael's apartment. Maria walked the familiar steps to his doorway and stood outside of it. She didn't knock for a few moments. She could already feel the tears dropping on her nose and cheeks. Finally she knocked and heard Michael's familiar footsteps scurry to the doorway.

"Maria." He said, sort of surprised to "What's the matter?" He asked.

Maria continued to stand there in one place, afraid that if she moved she would fall over. For some reason, all of her emotions, fears, pains, and all the reality had come crashing in on her brain and heart. She finally put her feet into motion and ran full speed into Michael.

He wrapped his arms around her, still confused as to why she was here, and why she was crying so badly in his arms. Not that he was upset that she had turned to him for comfort, just a little confused. "Maria, what's the matter?" He asked again.

After a few more moments of silence she answered, "Michael, I have to do it. I have to have to have an abortion. Michael it's the only way for me. I need to do this for myself." Her heart broke again when she said the jaded word 'abortion.' It was a word she had always hated, she hated the though of what would happen to her, and to their baby.

While Maria was still wrapped up in Michael's arms she felt so helpless and yet content to be there all at once. Then the next thing she knew, all she could see was black, and then nothing at all.

Michael felt her go lifeless in his arms, he pulled her away from him, but he had to hold her up or else her body would have gone to the floor. "Maria! Maria!" He began to shake her body a bit. "Oh my God, Maria!" Michael dragged her body to the couch and laid it down. "Oh God." Michael repeated to himself.

"Oh desert speak to my heart
Oh woman of the earth
Maker of children who weep for like
Maker of this birth
Tell your deepest secrets unknown to me
I will not be moved." - Live, run to the water

"Maria, Maria!" Michael continued to shake her body vigorously. He felt her neck and there he found a pulse, he thanked all higher powers for that small beating notion there.

After one last shake, he pinched her cheek and Maria's reaction was a very low grunt of pain. "Maria, you fainted." Michael said to her, trying to explain why he pinched her.

"I did?" She asked very weakly. "It felt just like I fell asleep or was daydreaming. Sorry I scared you." She apologized to him while she sat up on his couch and cracked her neck. "So like I was saying before, I have to do this, mostly for myself." Maria couldn't bear to say the "A" word again.

He knew what she was talking about though and he nodded his head. "If that's what you feel is best then I support you through it." Michael layed his head on Maria's lap. "I can't believe it's come to this though. It wasn't suppose to be like this Maria, you were the one who was supposed to have the normal life." Maria placed her hands in his hair and then gently kissed the top of his head.

He lifted his head to meet with her gaze, and he saw the tears that were forming in them, and yet she was smiling. "Michael, I don't think I was ever meant to have a normal life. But I wouldn't trade my life for anything, because it has you in it."

Michael smirked, "Yeah, your just saying that." he got a little laughter out of Maria, which was good because he had a feeling she wouldn't be smiling too often anymore, at least not for awhile anyways. "Are you sure your ready for what's going to happen though?" He knew his question was sort of random, but he needed to ask her and make sure she was going to be ok. He knew she was strong, but inside that hard shell she was as soft as a sponge and cracked easily.

She nodded at him, "Yeah, I mean I've got Liz and everyone else behind me, I've got a good amount of back-up. Most importantly is you though, knowing you're not going to abandon me like my...like my father did." Maria's voice faltered as the thought of her father leaving entered her mind. Michael heard this and took her hands in his, as if saying he wasn't going to leave her.

"So when are going to have it done?" He asked her quietly.

Her nervousness showed through the way she was biting her lip. "Tomorrow." That was it, her final doom. "I never thought I would say this but I would rather have a test or midterm tomorrow than have...this done to me, and to them." For the first time she acknowledge her baby.

Michael placed one of his hands on her stomach where a hybrid baby was currently growing. "Someday I promise you Maria, you will have such a large family with children everywhere and you'll look back on this event as something that was just right to do." He gave her a lop-sided grin.

"Do you envision yourself in this picture also?" Michael had a dark feeling she would ask this question. Maria in a way dreaded the answer he would give her.

He looked her way and said "Maria, don't ask me that. Please don't ask me that. I don't know what the future may hold for me, I really don't. If things were to stay the same, I don't even know what I want in the future. I do know that if we are to stay here and not find home wherever it may be, then I can envision you in my vision, you're definitely there Maria."

This made Maria very happy, she liked the thought that Michael could see her in his future, it meant that she means something to him, something that nobody else could do for him. "I don't know how I will get through tomorrow." She said plainly.

Reaching over Michael pulled her into another hug. "You'll get through it, we'll get through it together." Was all he said before he leaned his head against her shoulder.

"She lets you in her house
If you come knocking late at night
She lets in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She lets you deep inside
There's a secret garden she has.." - Live, run to the water

As her eyes opened Maria realized where she was. She was in Michael's bed while he was nowhere to be seen. Just as she realized he wasn't with her he came bustling into the room ready to wake her up, but soon realizing she was already awake. "Morning." He said to her, he didn't think 'good morning' was appropriate for today. It should be more like 'melancholy morning'. "Are you ready?" He asked her, knowing that nobody could be ready for an experience like she was about to go through.

Maria got up and stretched her body soon coming to the realization that this day was all to real for her. "No, Michael I don't think I'm ready for it at all, but then again is there a way to be ready for this?" She watched as Michael shook his head no, "I didn't think so."

"Come on, the faster you get up the faster you can get this over with." He held out his hand to help pull her out of bed.

He heard Maria groaned, he didn't know whether it was because of the baby that was about to be taken from her, or the fact that she was getting up.

An hour later they were both seated in the clinic. Michael was filling out the forms because Maria was so edgy, she sat there is a sort of daze, just watching people walk past her and doctors rushing around, but it looked like she was in her own little world.

"Allergies?" Michael asked her as he continued to fill out her form.

"Huh?" Maria asked coming out of her daydream, "Oh, um, none." Right after she said that Maria watched as a young doctor walked her way. She suddenly got the biggest knot in her stomach.

"There, it's done." Michael said proudly as he finished all of her forms.

Maria didn't hear him, she gulped and put a hand on his knee, "Michael, it's time." She said to him, taking another deep breath to keep the tears, she knew she had rising, from surfacing.

When the doctor approached them they both stood up. "Miss Deluca, they're ready for you. Have you filled out all the forms?" She asked as politely as she could.

Michael passed her the papers and put his now free hands on her waist. "I'll give you two a few minutes, when your ready please proceed to room 7 on your right. Thank you." With that, the nurse left to go tend to another patient.

Maria buried her head in Michael's neck. "I just have to do this, I'm so sorry, I have to have this done. I am sorry." She cried into him.

Michael knew she was really talking to their baby and not really to him. "I'll be right here waiting for you when you get out." He said while his arms enveloped her.

"I know." With that she proceeded to where the doctor had told her to go.

Michael grabbed her hand, twirled her around to give her one final kiss, "I love you Maria, I know you can do this." There, he said what he knew she needed to hear from him, and he meant it with his soul.

"I know." She repeated, "I love you too." Then she walked away, taking one look back at him and then entering her assigned door.

Michael just sat in his seat. He tried to read a magazine, but that didn't work. He just had to push the images of what he knew Maria must be going through at this moment.

Maria was lying down on the table, right before they were going to put the gas through her to make her sleep she reminded her self to think happy thoughts. She drifted off into a bulletproof slumber, thinking thoughts of Michael and her happy times in her life so far, anything but think of what was going to happen.

"No I won't do it again
I don't want to pretend
If it can't be like before
I've got to let it end
I don't want what what I want
I haven't changed a bit
But maybe someday
Maybe someday" -The Cure, Maybe Someday

Michael never thought waiting could be as painful as it was now, I mean what could be taking them so long. All he wanted to do was make sure Maria was ok, but instead he waiting.

After fidgeting for a long while in his chair he finally saw a doctor emerge from Maria's room and walk towards him. He couldn't quite read the expression that was on his face. "Mr. Guerin?" He asked.

Almost pushing the chair back, Michael stood up and nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah that's me." He said anxiously. "Quit the small talk and just tell me how she is doing?" He didn't want the doctor to talk about mindless things that he probably wouldn't understand anyways, he just wanted to know how Maria was doing.

"Whoa, calm down son, Maria is doing just fine. She's still sleeping in fact, but the procedure went over very nicely. We expect that she will wake up within a few minutes." He knew Michael was about to say something so he cut him off. "Yes, you can go see her now." Michael smiled at the doctor and rushed off to the room where Maria was so fragilely walked in awhile before.

When he entered the door he saw Maria lying there so peacefully. He walked over, pulled up a chair, and grabbed her hand. He wondered how she was going to deal with this now that it has been said and done. He was so deep in thought he didn't even feel her awakening.

"Michael." She mumbled softly under her breath. It wasn't until then that Michael's eyes shot up and came in contact with hers, which were just beginning to open. "Michael." She said again.

He moved his hands a bit to prove to her that he was there. "Yeah, I'm here Maria."

"Is it gone?" She asked, her eyes fully opening now.

Slowly Michael shook his head, "Yeah, Maria, it's over with. Everything went fine though, the doctor said things went great. So your going to be ok Maria." He needed her to know that little bit of info before he asked.

Right there in the clinic bed Maria began to start crying. Michael at first didn't know what to do, he'd never really seen her like this before. She was always do strong on the outside, he knew she wasn't as strong on the inside, but still, he wasn't expecting this. So he did the thing that came natural to him, he hugged her.

Later that day Michael drove her back to his place, where she knew she would feel the most comfortable. "What about your mother?" He asked as they both entered his apartment.

"Out of town, she'll be back on Sunday." Michael felt relieved that they wouldn't have to deal with Mrs. Deluca's questions and observations. "Michael, I think we need to talk." She stated as she sat down on his couch.

"Yeah, ok." He said as he sat down next to her. He noticed she looked a little nervous.

She squirmed a bit in her seat, and fiddled with her fingers. "Michael, I think we need some time apart. Just some time for a reflection, to think about what's happened. I need some time to let what has happened sink in. Because right now, I still feel as if it's some big dream I just had."

This completely caught Michael off guard. He did not expect her to just break up with him, and after all they had been through. He thought it just made them stronger as a couple, not push them farther apart. "Wait, let me get this straight, after all we just went through and what happened, you want us to break up? Maria, I don't understand." He noticed she was starting to cry.

"There's nothing to understand Michael, I need some alone time for myself, and I don't think it's a bad idea for you to have some also. You know I love you, but I can't do this right now. I can't pretend to be the normal teenage girl with her normal boyfriend, who just had a friggin' abortion, Michael it's not how I'm built. I feel so ashamed of what I just did back there today Michael, that I have to learn how to love myself again before I can be with you now and enjoy what we're going through. Don't take this the wrong way, but right now, your just a reminder of what happened to us. I'm sorry." Maria felt so horrible for what she was saying, she couldn't believe she actually was saying that to him. She knew she was hurting him terribly right now.

Michael just sat there, astounded by the words coming out of her mouth. "I can't believe your saying this." He pushed the tears that he knew were starting to surface back down in his eyes, the last thing he needed was to cry right now.

"I'm just going to let myself out, I am sorry Michael." She said one last time before exiting his home.

He waited till he knew she was out of his building before he got up and walked around. "Dammit!" He said as he slammed his fist down on his counter. 'How could she do this to me? I was the one who was there for her the entire time, I was there for her.' He still couldn't believe she had just left him like that.

'I'm not the sort of person
in and quickly out of love
but to you I gave my affection
right from the start
I have a lover
who loves me
how could I break such a heart
and still you gave my attention
why do you come here
when you know of the troubles'-Joan Armatrading, Weakness in me

Michael sat at his couch still, he hadn't moved from his position in hours...maybe even longer. He hadn't moved since Maria had moved out of his life. How ironic, he had always thought that he would be the one to leave Maria, and here they were, he was wanting her back, and she didn't.

At her window, Maria sat with her knees pulled up to her chin. She hadn't heard her mother calling her from downstairs, she must have just gotten home, but Maria hadn't noticed.

Amy must have spent minutes on end knocking and knocking on her daughter's door. She had locked it, which she never did, so something big must be up. She could hear muffled sobs occasionally coming from her room. 'Probably that Michael boy.' She thought to herself. Amy shook her head and left to call Liz, to have her check on Maria.

She picked up the phone and dialed the Parker number. Thankfully Liz answered. "Liz, hi, it's Amy. Do me a favor and come over, Maria is going through something and I think you should her her through it, it seems pretty bad." Liz quickly agreed. Amy left then left the house so the girls could talk in private. She had been 16 once too and knew how hard it was at that age.

Liz quickly left her house, thinking that Michael had did something to upset her. When she got to Maria's house she was relieved to see that Amy had left, now they wouldn't have to whisper.

"Maria, Maria it's Liz, open the door." She said while she knocked on the door. And with a simple 'click' she knew the door had been unlocked. She walked in to see Maria fall on her bed, she knew this was bad. "Ok, what happened?" She just wanted to put the question right out there.

"Liz, I think I made a mistake." The first thing that came to Liz's mind was the baby.

She walked over and sat next to Maria on the bed. "You mean the baby?"

"No, Liz I started loving that baby the second I knew about it, but I know it would have been wrong for me, and for it to have been born. I wouldn't have been ready and it would only have ended up hurting it. What I'm talking about is...Michael." Maria had to pause and push more tears back in her face when she said his name. The image of his face when she told him she wanted some space just kept creeping back up in her memory.

Lis sighed and nodded her head. "I knew it, what did he do to you?" She knew only one person could hurt Maria, she was usually strong and bold, but only Michael could make her weep like a baby.

Shaking her head 'no' Maria said "Michael didn't do anything this time, it's me. I broke it off this time, I...I don't know why either. I mean for the first few times in his life, he was there for me 100% and he was ready to take care of me and everything, and I pushed him away."

Liz was shocked "Maria, you must have had a reason for pushing him away, I mean what did you say to him, why did you do it in the first place?" Liz was so confused, she was ready for 'Michael pushed me away again' talk, but it seemed the tables had turned.

"Oh, I don't even remember. Something about him being a constant reminder to the baby we lost, and me needing space. Liz you should have seen the look on his face. He looked as if I had ripped his heart out, but the part I don't get it, I don't even know why I did it. He was being so nice, and caring, and concerned, and I threw it in the trash!" Now the tears started up again.

Liz felt so bad for her, she was in such a confused state right now, that she didn't know what she was doing. "Do you think you made the right decision?" She asked as she handed Maria a tissue.

Maria happily grabbed it and whined "No" while blowing her nose.

Michael had been walking around his apartment in a trance. Hoping that any minute Maria would come knocking on his door to see him. No such luck yet though. When he finally heard the door knocking he leaped to his, hurdled over a few objects and swung open the door, only to have his hopes crashed by seeing Max standing in the doorway. "Sorry to disappoint you." He said, half jokingly when he saw the look of disappointment on Michael's face. "What's wrong?" He asked knowing Michael was not usually this, melancholy. Sure he usually brooded a little, but he was a mixture of sad and depressed.

"Everything, anything." Was Michael's only answer.

Max knew right away what it must be. "Maria, right?"

"Well move over Einstein." Michael said it in a harsher tone than he meant it. "Sorry, I'm just--" He didn't know what was wrong with him actually.

He shrugged, "It's ok, now what's wrong?"

Michael dropped his eyes and sat on the couch. "Maria just ended it, our whole relationship, she just said she needed space and she wanted to be alone and she left, and now I don't know what to do." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Max laughed a little bit. He couldn't help it, it was just so ironic it was funny. First Michael pushes Maria away for space and to be a loner, and now Maria does it to him.

Michael gave Max a glare "And the part of that story that is funny is...?" Michael didn't think this was any laughing matter.

Max tried to contain himself. "I'm sorry Michael, but think about it for a moment. First you push Maria away because you wanted to be the loner with no strings attached, and now the tables have been turned and Maria is pushing you away because she wants her space and to be alone, it's just funny--" He looked at Michael's serious expression "--to me anyways." Max knew Michael didn't find any of this funny.

Michael did however know how Maria must have felt when he pushed her away all those times, and he kicked himself mentally for even doing that to her, because now he knew how much frustration and pain it can cause. "I don't know what to do, I don't know whether to go talk to her, or see her, or leave her alone, I don't know, I'm confused."

"What do you feel you should do, that would be the right thing?" Good ole' Max, always thinking rationally. Michael thanked it for once.

He thought for a moment, "I want to see her and clear some things up. But I don't know what her reaction would be. But I guess any reaction, besides yelling at me and kicking me out, is a good reaction. Thanks Max." He said before getting up and going out the door to see Maria.

'Why did you come here,
You weren't invited,
You were on the outside,
Stay on the outside,
And now you want to ask me why,
It's like how does your heart beat,
And how do you cry,
How does your heart beat?

"Well obviously I can't go crawling back to him, I don't even think I can crawl now. I still don't feel so well. That surgery really takes a toll on a girls body. But anyway, he probably wouldn't even take me back. Part of that whole guy-ego thing, the worst thing is, is that I am just so confused I don't even know what I'm saying!" Maria scrunched her nose and flopped backwards on her bed.

Liz was sitting there with her best friend, doing the best she could to help her out. "I still think you should go back with him. I mean he's going through the same loss and discouragement you are now. I mean it was his baby too. Give Michael some credit, he's changed a lot this year, and I think you need to remember that Maria."

"I do remember that, It's just being around him makes me so much weaker than I usually am, and I know this sounds like an excuse Michael gives me, but it's the truth. I don't want to talk about this any more, how are you and Max?" She asked changing the subject and sitting back up.

Liz gave a little smile and a laugh. "Well, things are good. I can't really complain." Liz stopped talking when she saw a figure standing outside Maria's window. Maria still hadn't seem him, she had her back turned towards the window. "Maria, I'm going to go now, I have to...clean my room. Call me later." With that she quickly got to her feet and scurried out the door.

Sitting on her bed, Maria was totally baffled. With hardly no explanation Liz just got up and left, right in the middle of a conversation? Maria was in the middle of her mind frustrations when she heard the light tap on her window. At that moment her heart stopped, and so did her breathing for a short while.

Michael saw Maria tense up the moment his hand hit the window. "Come on Maria, turn around." He breathed quietly against the window. Relief washed over him as he saw her begin to turn, and before he knew it their eyes were locked.

Maria was so ecstatic that he had come to her, and yet she shouldn't be. She was the one who broke it off with him, she shouldn't be expecting him to come to her 'so much for the male ego' she thought to herself. "Michael" She said out loud so he could hear her through the window.

He didn't say anything but Maria knew my his eyes that he wanted her to open the window up, and she did. "What are you doing here Michael?" She asked softly.

"I came to talk, sort things out between us. I mean, I thought things were going well between us. We seemed to be getting along fine, with the exception of our baby. And I don't think that I did anything to upset you, so I just don't understand this. I do know that I don't want us to break up." Maria could tell he wasn't joking, because he didn't fiddle or look nervous, he looked comfortable with what he was saying.

"Michael, you know I don't want us apart either." Well it was the truth, she just hoped she wasn't confusing him at all.

Michael didn't get it, "then why did you say we needed time apart!?" his frustrations were starting to surface. "Sorry, what I meant was why are we like this, why aren't we together now?" By the look on her face, he knew that she didn't know either.

She thought harder than she ever did, and all the reason why she had broke things off with him had disintegrated in her mind. "I don't know! I don't remember, ok? At the time it seemed like a suitable thing to do! But I don't know any more." She was obviously just as frustrated as he was.

"Well, ok Maria, here I am, do you want us to be together, or do you want us to stay apart." It was the question Maria was hoping he wouldn't ask.

'I still recall the words you said to me
It's what you did not say that sets me free
Now how how can I find piece of mind
when you keep coming back again
It's not ok, for you to play
this game of see-saw with my head
now it hurts to much
and it hits to hard
and I won't play this part.' -Sozzi, letting go.

Maria looked at him for a long time in the eyes. "Michael, that's a stupid question. Of Course I want to be with you. There is nobody else in the world, er...universe that I would rather be with. But there are just some things that aren't so simple. I'm still coping with what's happened, between us, and just everything that has been going on, that's all really." She again tried to read the expression that was played out on his face.

His face could be read as confused and hurt, both at the same time. "This still makes no sense Maria, we can be together and I can help you get through this, and you can help me too. Your not the only one who lost that baby you know. It was mine too, did you think I didn't care about it at all? Can't you think about me? I want to help you Maria, but your not letting me in at all. I can't help you if your so closed off from the world." He walked over to her and sat next to her on her bed.

Mentally, Maria laughed at how far Michael had come from since she had first known about his species. At first she had thought he was a creepy, weird guy who didn't care about anything but himself. Now she realized that she had pegged him all wrong. You just had to break through Michael's tough surface. "I know, I honestly don't know how to react right now. It's so hard for me because I want to be with you."

"Then what is stopping you?!" He said quickly, moving closer to her.

Going through all the files in her head, Maria couldn't think of the reasons she had said to him a few minutes ago. "No-, nothing, I guess." She had been defeated and Michael had been right.

Making a bold move, Michael inched as close as he could to her and he swooped in and kissed her. He was a little tense at first, not knowing whether or not she would accept it, or reject it. He eased a bit when he realized that she wasn't pushing him away. Michael, knowing that she wasn't pushing him away any more stopped the kiss. "So, are we ok now?"

Maria went down to grab his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Yeah, yeah we're good." A smile, that only a person in love could have crept up on her lips. "I don't know what I was thinking before."

Michael had said he agreed with her, but for some reason Maria couldn't hear what he was saying. She felt very tired all of a sudden so she leaned her head on Michael's shoulder.

"I still don't get what you were doing taking a break from us, especially when we were getting along so well. But that's all over with now, right Maria" Michael looked down at her and saw her eyes closed on his shoulders. "I can't believe she fell asleep. Maria, Maria." He repeated shaking her. When he realized that she wasn't waking up and that she wasn't sleeping his heart beat raced. "Maria! Maria wake up!" 'Oh no.' He thought to himself.

His fist instincts were to call Max, so he dialed the number that was so familiar to him. "Max!" Michael's voice screamed over the phone after he had heard Max's brief 'hello'.

"Michael, can this wait? Liz is over and we're kind of in the middle of a dinner date." Max sounded slightly agitated.

Michael huffed out loud. "No, Maxwell, this cannot wait. There's a problem with Maria. We were here and we were talking then she passed out. I think she's unconscious and I don't know what's wrong so I can't fix it...even if my powers were under control. Just get down here.

'If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect
I could never love anyone
It's struck me down
Like radium
Like Peter Pan
Or Superman
You will come to save me' -Aimee Mann, Save Me (I'm not sure exactly of these lyrics, I'm going by ear on these.

Max and Liz rushed right over to Michael's apartment, where Maria currently lay on his couch. "I think we need to take her to the hospital." Michael said the minute they got there.

A half an hour later Max, Michael, and Liz resided in the waiting room while the doctors were in a room with Maria. Michael was probably more nervous than anyone else. He would blame himself if anything ever happened to her.

"Michael, you've got to be calm. I'm sure she will be alright." Max said, trying to calm his nerves. He was surprised that Liz was handling this so well.

"Calm down? I'll calm down when a freaking doctor gets his ass out of that room to tell me what the hell is happening!" It was apparent to everyone that his frustrations were getting the better of him.

Yet, almost as if on cue, after Michael said that a doctor emerged from her room. "Any news?" Michael asked eagerly.

The doctor shook his head, "Yes, it seems that Maria's blood pressure and all occurrences of stress have been a real toll on her body. She's still unconscious at the moment, but we're confident it won't last very long. Possibly minutes, or an hour tops. I suggest that for the next few weeks, she does no physical work, or something that will get her worked up. Try and keep her calm and happy and she should be back to normal soon. If you'll excuse me I have some other patients to attend to." Then the doctor departed, after Michael thanked him.

Michael took a deep breath of relief in. 'Thank God she's ok.' He thought to himself.

"See Michael, she's going to be ok." Liz said as she walked over to him.

A small smiled appeared on his face. "I wish they would let me see her." Was all he said.

Michael had realized that day, that all the things Maria said were true, how she would need some time and space to cope and deal with everything that has happened. But Maria was just going to have to share that time and space with him as well.

After a little while, a nurse walked over to the three and announced that Miss DeLuca is awake and one person at a time could go in and see her. Max and Liz voted Michael should go in, and he didn't deny it.

As he walked to her room, he turned quickly back, gave Max and Liz a small smile, and then walked in to greet his girlfriend.

THE END