The Best Revenge

Teaser: Well, let's just say that Anyanka is not the only kind of vengeance demon out there...Angel isn't really in this one but I might be taking Kiera up on her request for a sequel to my last story, and Angel will be big in that one
Home site: members.nbci.com/mspangler/fics/
Distribution: at my above web site (please visit it! It’s cool!) and anyone else can have it if they ask first and link back to my site
Spoilers: For “Redefinition.” This takes place RIGHT after it.
Dedication: Deb, my beta-reader, went above and beyond for this one. I pestered her several times in the same day, and she was patient, helpful and pretty much gave me a great twist for the ending. Beta-readers rock!
Timeline: As I said, right after “Redefinition.” So…Wesley has that little scratch on his shoulder, which is referenced. And he and Cordelia are drunk as all heck. It’s very cute.

The Best Revenge

Truth or dare, I tell what I know
Your pseudo love has been walked all over
Am I friend or foe, friend or foe
Both sides wrestle but neither side knows...
---"Last to Know" (Spirit of the West)

Hangovers could be a bitch, and when her head stopped spinning and she smelled the coffee, she realized Wesley had probably not slept well either. He had that shoulder injury to deal with too, which was why she had given up the bed for him. He had chivalrously insisted on staying over in the mistaken belief that he could hold his liquor better than she could, and she had been far too tired to argue. Now, it was early and she was glad he was here. She took deep breaths to calm the nausea, and heard Wesley shuffle in, giving her a tight smile and passing her a large glass of water and a Tylenol.
"Good morning," he said. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been hit by a train. And then dragged by the train all the way to Sunnydale. And then pulled into the flaming vortex of the Hellmouth."
He smiled. "It'll pass. I made some coffee, but I don't think you're quite ready for that yet. Let's see how you handle the water."
She closed her eyes briefly. "All right. Wesley, are you...your shoulder..."
"Intense pain has a remarkable ability to clear out hangovers. I imagine I'm feeling slightly better than you are now that I've had some painkillers."
"I'll help you with the bandage," she offered, swallowing dizzily. "As soon as my head stops moving."
He smiled gently, and that was when they heard the knock at the door.

"Plumber," said the guest, leaning casually against the door frame. He was young, ruggedly handsome with curly blond hair, dressed in a generic uniform and fiddling nervously with a chain around his neck "Something about a leaky sink?"
Cordelia narrowed her eyes skeptically. "That was fixed weeks ago. What did you say the problem was?"
He shrugged. "Look, I'm just following orders. Landlord said to check the sink in the kitchen. Can I come in?" He fiddled idly with the pendant that hung from his chain.
Cordelia grabbed a make-up compact off the coffee table and tossed it to Wesley who flipped it open, studiously examining the reflection in the mirror. He gave her a confirming nod, and she said, "All right, you can come in."
The plumber nodded, stepping inside with his tool box. Seconds later, he had disappeared from view as he puttered around under the sink. Cordelia had risen shakily to refill her water, and perched at the kitchen table to watch him.
"You look familiar," muttered the plumber as the pipes clanged ominously under his ministrations. "I could swear I've...Chase, isn't it? Cordelia?"
She nodded, assuming he had gotten her name from the landlord. She hadn't called for a plumber, and had no idea why he was here. He didn't seem dangerous...
He stuck his head out briefly, grinning. "I know what it is. You guys are friends with that guy Angel! The detective?"
Cordelia tensed. Harmless or not, this guy certainly picked the wrong day to talk about her now-former boss.
"Yes..." she said. "How do you..."
"We have a mutual friend," he said. "I'm sorry about what happened, by the way."
She blinked doubtfully. "You know about that? But that was only..."
He used the edge of the counter to pull himself up, drying his hands on a towel.
"Yesterday," finished Wesley, squinting suspiciously. "And we haven't told anyone about that."
The plumber laughed. "Buddy, you didn't have to. The host can figure out that kind of news on his own."
"The host? He's your friend?"
He nodded. "We have a nightcap every now and then. Sometimes we talk business. I help him out with certain things, and he was very worried about you two."
He nodded to Cordelia. "Especially about you, hon," he winked. "He's quite taken with you."
She shuddered. "Ewww..." She didn't want to talk about Angel right now, especially when she was still feeling dizzy from the hangover he incited her to pick up.
"So anyway," she began, trying to change the subject.
"You must be very angry," the guest interrupted. "Angry about getting fired."
"I guess. I think it hasn't quite sunk in, you know?"
He nodded. "But even so...Angel abandoned you. He fired you. You must be very mad...at him. At Angel. You must want to..."
He broke off as he noticed Wesley staring intently at his fingers as they nervously fondled the pendant.
"Well, I'd rather not talk about it," said Cordelia. "I still can't believe...it's not really happening, you know? It's like I could close my eyes and when I open them..."
"Cordelia, be quiet," said Wesley sharply. "Something isn't right about this."
The plumber blinked innocently. "What do you mean?"
Wesley painstakingly lowered himself to the floor, peering into the abyss beneath the sink. After a moment's pondering, he ran a finger over the pipes and finally emerged, jaw set in triumph.
"As I thought, it's dry as a bone down there. You were just pretending!"
Cordelia grabbed a stake off the table, adrenaline briefly recharging her. "I knew it! We saw your reflection so you can't be a vampire. What are you then, a demon?"
The plumber took a nervous step back. "Well, I, um, I'm...."
"Or are you just a common thief?" Cordelia shrieked. "Thought you could take advantage of me? Thought you could..."
Wesley shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't know too many common thieves who walk around with the proto-Sumerian god of vengeance engraved on their pendant..."
Their guest was frozen, following their eyes with his own, stone-faced with panic and nervously toying with the suspicious charm.
Cordelia's eyes widened. "A vengeance demon! Oh no, I've been there, done that before. Listen mister, if you think you can trick me into making a wish or something..."
The plumber's face lost its panicked edge as he registered confusion. "What do you mean you've done this before? That can't be...oh, dear. Ohhhhhhh no."
Cordelia hadn't noticed his sudden discomfort. "Of course, I don't know why I thought there was only one kind. I mean, scorned lover, scorned employee, it works the same way, doesn't it? I know, if I were smart I'd wish for his soul to be anchored or something but I thought the last wish was a good one and look what happened THAT time..."
"Cordelia Chase," the plumber repeated, nearly tripping over a chair as he backed away from her. "I don't know why I didn't make the connection earlier. It's not exactly a common name, you know."
Wesley straightened commandingly. "Not that I mean to interrupt," he said. "But perhaps we should..."
Cordelia pointed accusingly at the plumber. "He's a vengeance demon! He was trying to trick me into doing something bad to Angel. Not that he doesn't deserve it right now, but still..."
The plumber pointed accusingly at Cordelia. "She is the one who ruined Anyanka! A thousand years of vengeance, undone by a spoiled little..."
"Hey!" fumed Cordelia.
Wesley nodded. "Well, surely there has to be a way to resolve this," he said practically. "Clearly you aren't welcome here. Why don't you just leave now and let's forget the whole thing?"
The plumber raised a dubious eye. "But you HAVE been fired. And you didn't deserve it, did you? And you aren't happy about it, are you? Look at you, all morning-after and drunk-hungover and feeling sorry for yourselves. Doesn't it just make you want to..."
"No!" said Cordelia, wincing as he reminded her of her sorry state. "I mean, yes, but I'm not gonna. Wishing doesn't solve problems, it just creates new ones."
The plumber fidgeted nervously. "Look, I see your point. Really. And someone of your power...to undo Anyanka...believe me, I'd love to get out of it. But see, you've kinda been assigned. I'm new at this job, and..."
"Great," groaned Cordelia. "Not only do I get visited by yet another scary powerful demon, but he's a trainee!"
Wesley held up a hand, cutting her off. "So we both want out. What's the easiest way?" he asked sensibly.
The plumber lowered his eyes nervously. "She has to make a wish," he said.
"Any wish?"
He nodded.
"Fine. Cordelia, wish the demon will go away."
"Umm...except that one."
Wesley nodded. "May we have a moment?"
The plumber shrugged, cocking half an ear as the two of them huddled in a corner of the kitchen.
"Soul anchoring," suggested Wesley. "Prevent this sort of nonsense from happening again."
Cordelia shook her head. "And have him leave the good fight to go do Buffy? I've already done that story, and thank you but I can do without the sequel. How about...no, that wouldn't work."
"What?"
"Well, I was going to suggest massive success for us as we help the suffering people by ourselves, but that kinda means we'd need to find...a whole bunch of suffering people. Like more than we get now. And may I say, yuck to that?"
"Good point. We don't want a wish that can harm others, after all. Nothing with consequences..."
She nodded. "But we are going to continue on without him, right? How about pain-free visions?"
"I don't know. We might lose some of the message."
"But it'd be great, like a daydream, only...oh, I see your point. We don't WANT them to be mistaken for that."
Wesley smiled. "Well, I'm glad we at least agree that childish punishment is not the way to go. It's petty, and immature and..."
She smiled suddenly. "And yet strangely appealing under the circumstances. I've got it, Wes. The perfect wish, the perfect revenge and no lasting consequences."
"Oh?"
"We've thought about it," said Cordelia to the plumber. "And I wouldn't want innocent people to suffer on my account. And consequences...those can be sticky. But you know, there IS something you could do: no harm, no aftereffects.... if you could take care of our hangovers..."
He looked at her, stunned. "I am a vengeance demon! Here to avenge your well-deserving former boss! How will curing a headache..."
"Well, it's a very big headache," she said, wincing.
Wesley nodded. "And if you take the hangovers away just like that, you'll have to put them somewhere else, won't you? You can't just have them floating around..."
"And if you have to put them somewhere...why not put them in Angel?" finished Cordelia, grinning.
The demon frowned. "I still don't see..."
"Of course you do," said Cordelia. "Me and Wes, minus the killer headaches... you know what they say about living well...it being...the best revenge?"
The demon nodded, finally understanding, as the pendant glowed.

the end