~O~

 

A month had passed. Jen had not reenrolled in school in New York. She had dropped out, and her mother never said a word.

 

Her mother took her along on all her shopping trips. She took her to all her brunches, all her teas, all her fancy dinners. And Jen always played the perfect, quiet daughter, even as her mother openly criticized her in front of an unending number of New York’s socialites.

 

Jen realized something that she hadn’t understood before: Her mother was a drunk.

 

Every night, Helen Lindley would have her scotch and take her pills, and every night before she passed out were the worst outbreaks of abuse Jen was victimized with. Her mother would throw things at her, she’d slap her. Sometimes she’d hit her with things like the phone.

 

The other night Jack had called her. Her mother, already drunk before the pills could take their affect, accused Jen of being a slut and screwing around with boys and making her life miserable, and then she had hit ripped the phone out of the wall and hit her with it.

Jen never blamed her mother though.

It was the alcohol. It was the pills. It was the years of abuse from her father that made her do it. Jen wouldn’t believe that her mother was capable of this on her own, and that was the precise reason she had to be here: To protect her and help her.

Her mother finally passed out. Jen tucked her in, then went into the bathroom and cleaned the blood from her face from where the beating had broken the skin over her brow. She then returned Jack’s call, confirmed that she was doing great, then took a long, hot bath before retiring to bed where, once again, she barely got a wink of sleep.

What kept her up: The fact that she and her mother were so completely alone in this world with no one else to love them besides each other.

 

Imagine Jen’s surprise when the following weekend, Jack and Pacey appeared at her door.

“Oh my god!” She screamed hugging them both on her porch. “What are you doing here!”

“We missed you!”

“Lindley, we thought you dropped off the planet!”

“Why didn’t you call me!”

“We wanted to surprise you,” Jack smiled. “Are you surprised?”

“YES!” She said, hugging him again and kissing his cheek.

“We thought we’d just drive down, it only took a couple of hours you know, and Jacker’s here just got a new Civic from his dad.”

“You did!” Jen squealed.

“Yeah…it’s an early graduation present.” Jack said looking proudly back at the shiny black car at the end of the driveway. Jen’s face fell a little. They both noticed.

“So Jen,” Pacey said, changing the subject. “Can we come in?”

Jen looked back through the open door to the house. She thought maybe it would be okay, but then she heard her mother’s voice.

“Jenny baby??? Who’s there…why’d you leave me…”

This early, she was already drunk.

“Um, guys…sorry. My mom’s not feeling too good.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Jack asked, concerned.

“No,” Jen said, backing into the house. “Thank you guys for coming, but I don’t really have time to…to talk…”

“But Jen!” Pacey laughed uncomfortably. “We came all this way!”

“ I know…and I’m sorry, I really appreciate it! But my mom’s…she…she needs me.” Jen was ready to shut the door. Pacey put his hand on it, and stopped her.

“Jen?”

She just stared at him.

“Well, what do you say we come back tonight?” Jack interrupted cheerfully. “Me and Pace, we got all weekend, we could find a motel or something…maybe you could take us out, show us around?”

“Well, I don’t know…”

“Lindley,” Pacey smiled. “Come on! You can’t turn us down…not after all the driving we did to see you! Come on! Jack here is dying to hit one of those crazy underground parties!” Jack started to speak…He never said anything about going to any parties… But Pacey went on. “You can’t turn us down now…Look at him! Look at his face! Look how disappointed he is!”

Pacey slapped Jack in the chest and Jack reacted, giving Jen the saddest case of puppy dog eyes she’d ever seen.

Jen reluctantly nodded.

“Well, okay… Come back around 10:00 or so…she’ll be asleep by then. We’ll go out.”

“YES!” Pacey grinned.

“Sure,” Jack smiled.

“Okay, see you then,” She said, starting to close the door. Again Pacey blocked it.

“Jen?”

 

Jenny? Jenny, baby? Where are you! …Her mother was calling again, and she was starting to sound angry.

 

“Yeah?” She asked quietly, her head barely poked out.

“Where are we going? How should we dress?”

“Oh…” Jen looked down and thought for a moment. “Um, just dress comfortably… baggy pants, sensible shoes. Just regular club clothes. I know this one party, but it gets hot, so you might wanna wear a tank top or something.”

“Okay,” He smiled. “We’ll be back at 10:00.”

“K.”

Jen closed the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes momentarily. Then she suddenly opened them again, and swung open the door just as Jack and Pacey were turning away.

“Don’t drive. Just leave your car at the motel and take a cab. The streets around here are terrible, and there’s never anywhere to park.”

“Okay,” Jack said.

“K…bye.”

“Bye,” The said again in unison as the door shut again.

 

Jen turned and went up the stairs.

“Jennifer! Where are you!”

“Coming!”

 

“What was that all about?” Jack scoffed as they walked to the end of the driveway and got in his new car. “Why are you so eager that she take us to an underground party???”

“I dunno,” Pacey said, glancing back up at the house. “She just looks like she needs to get out…”

 

It was weird to see Jen out here like this…big fancy house, and wide green gardens in the middle of a big city. She looked so sad…and almost lost. She never looked like that in Capeside.

Pacey was suspicious.

 

~O~

 

That night, Jen was beaten worse than she’d ever been.

 

“I DIDN’T SAY YOU COULD GO OUT!” Her mother screamed.

It was nearly nine. Helen hadn’t taken her pills yet, and when she found Jen doing her hair and makeup, she started questioning her.

“Mom! Please!”

“I didn’t say you could go out, you little tramp!”

“But mom!”

“You will not leave this house tonight, you understand me! You’re staying here with me!”

“Mom! I’m going out! That’s it! You wont stop me from seeing my friends!”

“AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!”

“You’re just going to take your pills and go to sleep…you always do! Why can’t I do something other than sit here and watch you drink yourself to sleep every night! WHY!”

Jen’s face stung as the first slap came. She started to cry at the second. The next thing she knew, she was crouched on the floor as her mother laid into her; hitting her and kicking her hard, and screaming and crying in rage.

She reached down and grabbed Jen by the chin, digging her nails into her face and yanked her across the floor out into the hallway.

“YOU’RE STAYING HERE WITH ME!” She screamed, dragging her down the hall by the hair. “YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS CARE ABOUT YOU??? THEY DON’T! ONLY I DO! I’M ALL YOU HAVE! YOU CAN’T TREAT ME THIS WAY!”

“MOTHER, STOP!”

“YOU JUST WANT TO LEAVE ME! YOU HATE ME!” She cried. “ADMIT IT, YOU HATE ME!”

“I DON’T HATE YOU MOM!” Jen pleaded.

When they reached her mothers room, Helen threw Jen against the door and looked down at her as if she were going to start pummeling her again.

Jen cowered on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Mommy, please!”

 

She was so scared. She hid her face in her hands, and just cried and cried and cried. Jen cried so hard, it hurt to breath, and she half expected herself to pass out.

 

Suddenly Helen burst into tears and fell over her daughter, gripping her, and rocking her violently.

“I’M SORRY JEN! I’M SO SORRY! Why do you make me do this to you, huh? WHY?”

 

She held Jen back by the shoulders, shaking her slightly, and looking at her.

 

Her mother’s eyes were no longer wide and crazy, and the tears fell down her face in grief. Jen hated seeing her this way. She hated the fear and desperation in her mother’s eyes…she hated seeing her cry.

“Why do you make me so upset!”

“I—I’m sorry, Mom!” Jen wailed.
“I know you are, honey! I know!”

She clutched her again, rocking her until they both quieted down.

 

Jen gave her mother her pills, then climbed into bed with her. She let her mother hold her until the pills finally kicked in. Jen lay there quietly listening to her mother’s breathing. A few minutes later, she tiptoed away, closing the door behind her, and dragged herself back to her own room. She looked at the clock. It was 9:15. She walked into the bathroom and spent the next forty-five minutes fixing her hair and trying to cover her new marks with fresh make-up. The scratches on her cheek were the hardest part.

 

The guys arrived at ten like clockwork.

 

Jen climbed in the cab as Pacey held the door for her, and then they were off.

 

“So, you guys found a place to stay?” Jen asked.

“Yeah,” Pacey smiled.

“Good.”

“Where we going?” Jack asked. Jen smiled slightly.

“You’ll see…”

 

~O~

 

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