Pacey Witter’s Day Off

 

By Anna Phylactic

______________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: Dawson's Creek and it's characters belong to Kevin Williamson, Columbia Tristar and WB (as if you didn't know that). I've just borrowed them for fun. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a very good John Hughes movie (not mine) and the lyrics to Sound of Music belong to Rogers and Hammerstein.

Summary: This story follows the exploits of Pacey, Dawson and Joey when they try to recreate Ferris Bueller's Day Off. If you've seen the movie the layout of this story will make more sense.  Set in early season 3.

Influences: Or things that inspired me to write this story. Robert Altman, exam stress, Ferris Bueller, the irreplacable Rogers and Hammerstein. Thank you.

_______________________________________________________________

 

“Have you seen the sky today?  It is pure blue - the blue with a purity you only get on days when you are destined to enjoy it.  Only that paragon of educational virtue that is Capeside High would have my consorts and I believe that our duty belongs in the classroom.  A fait a compli some might say, the law requires you to be in school.  Kismet, others might say, nature draws you away from it.  Which has the greater power?  Over society?  The answer must be the law.  Over Pacey J. Witter?  Well, would you honestly choose to spend a day like today locked up in a school room?  Neither would I.

 

“Every day has it’s possibilities.    For you, it may be raining right now.  But many an effervescent event has occurred for youths on a day pelting with precipitation.  But luckily for my good self, I am not required to spend time thinking of such ingenious activities for my friends and I - mother nature has provided all the inspiration needed.  All that remains now is to aquire the correct assets.  These include a speed boat, and two reluctant acquaintances.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Dawson Leery was sat in the kitchen of the Leery house, eating out of the same bowl he always ate out of, reading the latest edition of the paper he read every morning.  The phone rang.

 

“Dawson!  My good buddy!  How are you?  Have you remembered what today is?”

 

“Hi, Pacey.  What are you talking about?”

 

“I *knew* you’d forget.  You always forget.  Today is  - the first day of the rest of your life!”

 

“Pace, I don’t have time for this, I have a dentist’s appointment anyway today and I’m going to be late for school.”

 

“You hit the jackpot there, my friend.  We are going to be *very* late for school.  In fact, we’re going to be so late, we may even not show up at all.”

 

“You’re talking about skipping school?”

 

“That’s it, baby.  Truancy here we come!”

 

“No way, you’re on your own with this one, Pacey.  Mid-terms are coming up soon and maybe you don’t, but I need to be there.”

 

“Mid-terms schmidterms, old man!  We’ll talk about this on the way, I’m coming to pick you up.”

 

“On the way where, Pacey?....Pacey?!”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“There is one thing you have to know about Dawson Leery.  He has no sense of proportion.  He believes that a student such as himself - a gifted being, but one who still has to work hard to reach the upper echelons of higher achievement, will seriously suffer from one day not spent at school.  We are talking about a guy who will meticulously catch up on all missed classes and possibly discuss with his teachers those oh-so-forgettable lessons he wasn’t there for.  This guy can not fail. 

 

“The result of all this is that he will wind up at a good college before going on to become the younger, better version of his idol, Stephen Spielberg.  Unless some minor femme fatale gets in his way and he ends up a talented, frustrated local TV producer.  Either way, he’s set for money, status and an accumulative pension plan.  Basically, what I’m saying is his overwhelming sense of doom at being unavailable for scholastic learning on this fine day is entirely unnecessary.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

The familiar Witter family truck pulled up outside the equally familiar Leery family home.  Dawson came out to greet it.

 

“I hope that this is my ride to school.”

 

“Nope.  This is your ride to the dentist.”

 

“My appointment isn’t until this afternoon, Pacey.”

 

“Correction.  It *wasn’t* until this afternoon.  Unfortunately, your father has just telephoned the school and informed them of the hasty rescheduling owing to your urgent need of treatment.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Your appointment is for this morning, and with all the work you need, frankly, it could take all day.”

 

“Pacey, what have you done?”

 

“I’ve made you available for a little fun, D.  You should be pleased.”

 

“Over-the-moon.”  Dawson replied getting in the truck.  “So where exactly is it you’re taking me?”

 

“To collect the third corner of our iscoceles triangle.”

 

And the truck pulled away.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“I would like to introduce you to somebody special.  Joey Potter is the living embodiment of everything that is good in my life.  She is beautiful, smart, and can swap insulting quips with me in a way that has good long term prospects.  For a while now we have been having this slow-burn flirting, furtive glances thing going on, which I have to admit is highly enjoyable, if a little limited.  But the trick is not to push things with this one.  One wrong move and the whole thing turns into a bigger disaster than Chernobyl.  But once in a while, if I push the right buttons, we can have a little fun, and today is going to be one of those whiles.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Joey was pulled out of class by the principal. 

 

“I’m afraid, Josephine, that Deputy Witter has just phoned and told us there have been some serious problems over at the Bed and Breakfast.  Your sister has said that she would appreciate it if we could let you out of school today to help out.”

 

“Serious problems?” Joey asked, slightly alarmed. 

 

“Deputy Witter wouldn’t specify, he said it was better if you would just come home.  I offered to give you a ride myself, but he said he had to collect some supplies from the hardware store and would meet pick you up on the way back.”

 

“Deputy Witter did?”

 

“Yes, Miss Potter.  Tell me - has Deputy Witter had much to do with your family’s new business?” 

 

The principal looked suspicious.  He hadn’t been unaware that Joey Potter and Doug Witter’s little brother had been seen together more than infrequently of late, and he was not unaware that said Pacey Witter was another absentee that day.

 

“The.. the police auxiliary have been helping us rebuild, but we’ve had a lot of problems.  I really think it would be better if I found out what the problem is.  Maybe I can make it back to school for afternoon classes.”

 

“That would be of benefit to you, Miss Potter,” the Principal replied, slightly placated.  “And, Joey,” he added after her, “you wouldn’t happen to know where Pacey Witter might be found would you?”

 

“Pacey?  Didn’t you ask his brother?”

 

“Yes, Deputy Witter believed his brother was in school.”

 

“I really must go now, sir.”

 

Joey hurried away wondering what on earth Pacey Witter was up to now.  She had received an early morning phone call that day from the man himself:

 

“Hey, Joey!”

 

“Pacey, do you know what time it is?”

 

“Yes.  And I know you’ve been up an hour already helping out.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“What would you do with yourself if you had a whole day free to do exactly what you liked?”

 

“Dispose of you in a clean, unincriminating fashion.”

 

Pacey had laughed and hung up.

 

Joey didn’t believe that anything was up at the Bed and Breakfast.  She didn’t believe that Deputy Doug had phoned the school that morning.  What she did believe was that Pacey Witter was behind it all.

 

Outside of the school, Joey Potter scanned the car park.  Just as she expected, the Witter truck was parked at the far end.  Slowly she made her way towards it.

 

“Why, Deputy Witter,” she said into the open window at the driver, “you’re out of uniform.”

 

“I’m undercover” Pacey grinned back at her.

 

“I see Batman has brought along his Robin,” was her only response, glancing at Dawson.”

 

Don’t blame me, Joey.  This entire shebang is Pacey’s idea and will remain so until it makes any sense at all.”

 

“Listen to yourselves, guys!”  Pacey injected.  “I have just gotten you out of

considerable hours of boredom and day wastage and what thanks do I get?  Nadda!  Will you two just put on your happy hats and try and have some fun?  You have a whole day free of responsibility and work - just try acting your age for once!”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure that your little plan has worked, Pacey” Joey warned him as she got into the back of the truck.  “Principal Green looked mighty suspicious.”

 

“Let him.  What can he do?  There’s no way he can prove we’re doing anything

wrong.”

 

“Except by calling Bessie, or Mr Leery, or even Deputy Doug for that matter.”

 

“All three of whom we will be nowhere near, and will be hard pushed to let us down.  Deputy Doug told the principal he thought I was at school, which puts him out the picture, which therefore puts you out of the picture since it was apparently him that called about you.  You told me yesterday Bessie would be out all day today, and so will Mr Leery, besides which, Dawson has a bone fide dentist appointment, albeit this afternoon, for which Daddy will write him a note.”

 

“You really think you know it all don’t you, Witter.”

 

“I know this town, Potter, and I know how to play it.  Once in a while, you can get away from it.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Where are we going, Pacey?”  Dawson asked.

 

“To the Leery residence, my friend.”

 

“My place?”  Dawson queried, “Why?”

 

“To pick up the keys.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

The three of them stood at the docks, staring out at the speed boat in from of them.

 

“Pacey, this is my father’s boat, and you know what happened last time I took it out.” 

 

“Yes I do, but this time you will be keeping your eyes strictly seaward.  Any distractions from the lovely Miss Potter will be headed in my direction.” Pacey teased.

 

“Oh please, if neither of you are capable of controlling a moving vehicle in the presence of a female, *I’ll drive*.”  Joey said, exasperated.

 

“If you’re sure your own eyes won’t be wondering.  If it gets hot, I may want to take my shirt off you know.”  Pacey raised his eyebrows.

 

“Oh please, if I wanted a laugh, I’d stay at home and watch ‘90210’.”

 

“I think the point that both of you seem to be missing here is that we won’t be taking the boat out at all.  Do you know how volcanic my dad would go if I were to take out the thing out again illegally, not to mention the fact that I am supposed to be in school at the time.”

 

“Your Dad would recover, *if* he were to even find out, which is highly unlikely, and, even if the unfortunate event were to occur, I’m sure you can make it up to him when you buy him a house with your first million.”  Pacey told Dawson.

 

As Dawson was about to open his mouth once again, Pacey interjected him.

“Get the keys, D.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Isn’t this the way to spend a day, Dawson, my man?  Nothing above or around us but the purest blue of nature. No Biology assignments, math class, even, God be praised, no Gym.” 

 

“You know what, Pacey?  I’d have to agree with you there.”

 

Suddenly, a Joey-shaped shadow descended across the sunbathing Pacey and Dawson.

 

“Either of you two fancy doing some work?”

 

“No thanks,”  Pacey replied.  “You’re doing just fine.”

 

Joey turned away again, shaking her head. 

 

“Actually, my body is telling me that it needs refuelling.  Why don’t you locate an appropriate place to park this fine machine, D?”

 

“And what exactly are you going to do, your majesty?”  Joey asked in return.

 

“I, my fair lady, will prepare the luncheon.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

They lay sunning themselves on the deck of the speed boat, lazing off the barbecue that Pacey had cooked on a disposable from the hardware store. 

 

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing beats chargrilled beef on an open fire.”  Pacey sighed in satisfaction.

 

“Unless you’re a vegetarian,” Joey pointed out.

 

“True.  Then nothing beats stuffed peppers chargrilled on an open fire.”

 

“Unless you hate peppers.”

 

Pacey stared at her.

 

“How do you think people came up with the idea of stuffing?”  Dawson thought aloud.  “I mean the whole concept of it - how did people come up with the idea of putting a load of herbs inside a dead animal?”

 

“Oh!  Dawson - please!” Joey screwed her face up.

 

“Probably to make it smell better.  I mean before we had the mighty invention of the refrigerator, you had to do something right?”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Pacey” Joey exclaimed, “they used to salt the meat.  *That’s* how they ended up with salami.”

 

Silence.

 

“What should we do now?”  Pacey asked, chuckling to himself. 

 

“What’s wrong with this?”  Joey wondered, eyes closed, turning her back to the sun.

 

“Nothing, but half the day’s gone already and there is so much more we could do.”

 

“Oh yeah.  I forgot we were in that urban metropolis that is Capeside, why lounge about in a boat when we could be lounging on the docks, or at the ruins, or even at Dawson’s house.”

 

“Now, Joey, it just doesn’t sound like you’ve used your head here -  but luckily you’re talking to the master of imagination.  There’s loads of exciting things we could be doing.”

 

“Name one.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Principal Green sat at his desk watching the gym class going on out of his window.  He often was in his office at this time and recognised the familiar young faces below.  He also recognised some were missing.

 

Dawson Leery.  Joey Potter.  Pacey Witter.  Coincidence?

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Deputy Doug Witter was strolling down Capeside docks, enjoying the fine weather on a quiet day.  In the distance he saw a boat coming in, as it got closer he recognised it as Mitch Leery’s speed boat.  Idly following it’s progress, he noticed with suprise that three people, two men and a woman, got out of the boat and ran one after the another down the quay. 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Okay, Pacey.  What exactly are we doing here?”

 

Pacey squared up to Dawson.  They were stood in a large expanse of green turf, long played upon by  the young baseball players of Capeside.

 

“Dawson - you with your exceptional analytical ability may have noticed that today has followed a familiar pattern.”

 

“If you’re talking about the fact that this ‘day off’ has more than subtle overtones of Ferris Bueller’s same, then yes, I have noticed.”

 

“Typical Pacey - does the word originality mean anything to you?”  Joey goaded.

 

“Evidently not, but, if I may continue, the next event on our own juvenile holiday is once again an unoriginal throwback to the fore-mentioned film.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“The baseball game - don’t you remember?  ‘Hey-ey, badda badda badda....’”

 

“Pacey, that was a proper game at a proper baseball ground, not three little league spectators,”  Joey complained.

 

“But we’re not spectators, Potter - we’re players.”

    

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Deputy Witter?”

 

“Principal Green!”  Turning round.  “I hate to sound crass, but shouldn’t you be in school?”

 

“Principal’s privilege - I’m the only one who can get away with it,” he replied smiling.  “In fact, I was actually on the lookout for another individual playing the truancy game.  I was wondering if you might help me with that.”

 

“Well, I can certainly keep my eyes open.  Who is it you’re looking for?”

 

“I should have thought you could guess after our conversation this morning.”

 

“I’m sorry?” 

 

“Your brother Pacey, Deputy Witter.  He’s still not turned up at school.”

 

“Still?”

 

“I asked you about him this morning you rang about the Potter girl.”

 

“Oh!  I see.  I’m sorry Principal Green, but it’s been a confusing day.  Don’t you worry, I should have no problems at all dealing with this little problem.”

 

“There’s no need, Deputy, just return Pacey to school if you see him.  I will have no problems dealing with him myself, and whoever else should come along.”

 

“Good day, Principal.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Let me tell you about my brother, Doug.  He lives in this safe little small town world where he plays the local neighbourhood cop.  He plays the part well up until a point and with strangers, but a couple of things prevent him giving a flawless performance.  One of these is his obvious jealousy of his younger sibling.  I admit it - Deputy Doug is jealous of his black sheep brother.  Despite the fact that Doug gets the attention and praise of our father, it doesn’t suit him since it means he has to hide the second reason.  That he is the most obvious textbook case of a closet gay you are ever going to see.  But the old man would not appreciate an achievement like that from his first born.  So as long as Doug is the golden boy he can’t admit his dark secret and hence I get the fall out.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

The Leery house, early afternoon.

 

Doug Witter rang the doorbell for the fourth time.  There was still no response.  He began walking back to the squad car as Mitch Leery drew up outside his home.

 

“Doug?”

 

“Mr Witter!”

 

“What can I do for you?”

 

“I was actually hoping to find Dawson.”

 

“Dawson?  Well, he’s not here.”

 

“No, well, I saw Principal Green out of school in the recent past, and he pointed out to me that Pacey had not arrived at school today.”

 

“And why would he be here?  Is Dawson not in school either?”

 

“No, well, I don’t know.”

 

“Well I do, and no, he’s not in school.  He’s at the dentist.  Somehow I don’t think Pacey will have followed him there.”

 

“I doubt if Pacey even knows where it is.  I’m sorry to have bothered you Mr Leery.”

 

Mitch nodded.  As Doug walked away, he turned back to the house and said, shrugging;

“I suppose it was you using your speed boat earlier today?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I was down at the marina and I saw your speed boat arriving back.  There were three of you in the boat.”

 

“Look, I don’t know what you’re insinuating but I have not used the boat today and neither has my son.”

 

“You sure about that?”

 

“Look, wait here.”  Several minutes later Mitch Leery returned brandishing a key.  “I guess you can’t get far in a speed boat without this?”

 

“Mr Leery - “

 

“ - you know what, Doug?  I’m not really interested.  You wanna waste your time chasing after Pacey and Dawson then that’s fine, what else do I pay my taxes for after all, but don’t infringe on *my* time.  Goodbye.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“And Potter hits a blinding shot right out of the field, running straight into the arms of a cheering Pacey Witter!”  Pacey cried, grabbing Joey in joy as she completed a home run.

 

“How was that?”  A breathless Joey called out in delight, as Pacey swung her round.

 

“Perfect!”  He cried, taking full advantage of her excitement to hold on to her for a little longer.

 

In the distance Dawson looked on.

 

“Great, Joey.  Pace, don’t you think we should start for home soon?”

 

“Dawson, what are you talking about, man?  We have another hour until school finishes, even if we get home normal time your Dad’s going to wonder - you’re supposed to be at the dentists remember?”

 

“I remember, and I should have gone there instead.  How am I going to explain to my Dad about missing my appointment?”

 

“Don’t tell him!”

 

“I was supposed to have work done, Pacey!  I’ll have to make another appointment.”

 

“Dawson!” Pacey put Joey aside and walked over.  “I can’t believe this.  Does the word ‘whim’ mean nothing to you?  This day is meant to be all about forgetting responsibility and having a few laughs.  And you’re stressing over some over-charged bridge work!  You’ve had fun haven’t you?”

 

“Well, no, actually, no I haven’t had fun.”

 

“No?  No?!  Think of all the stuff we’ve done!”

 

“Pacey, I realise that to you this must be a completely alien notion, but some of us actually think further ahead than just one day.  You don’t care if your Dad finds out and rips a piece off you again.  But actually I do.  I respect my father and at the moment he has a hard job bringing me up on his own.  I’m going to get in a heap of trouble for this, because he *will* find out.  So, no, I haven’t had fun, because this day means my ass and you don’t care about that.”

 

“D, man, honestly, I do care.  I’ll make things right with your Dad I promise.  He’ll expect this off me.”

 

“Don’t bother, Pacey.  He won’t believe you anyway.”

 

“Oh, come on.  I’ll just tell him I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

 

“And that’ll work?  I could have said no to you, you know.  I could.  Look, Pacey, its my problem.”

 

“Well I can at least make sure that you have a little fun before facing the fire.”

 

A sigh.  “How?”

________________________________________________________________

 

“Pacey, please tell me why we are bothering to sneak into little old lady afternoon at the Rialto?  We could walk in wearing a T-shirt with the insignia “I should be in school” and they’d *still* let us in.”

 

“That’s not the point, Miss Josephine.”

“Oh, what is the point?”

“To get the adrenaline pumping, get the show moving!”

“For The Sound of Music?”

“Trust me.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“I don’t believe it, he’s actually left us here.  Gets us to sneak in then leaves us!”

 

“Dawson, he’s not left us.  He’s probably gone to steal some popcorn or change the film reel.  You know that Pacey’s idea of fun always involves either breaking the law or a rule.”

 

“Then where is he, Jo?  I’m telling you if he doesn’t turn up in five minutes I’m leaving.  I’m going back to school.”

 

“Dawson are you crazy?  We’ll all get caught if you go back to school!  Principal Green’s already suspicious.  He’ll make you tell him.”

 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Joey.  Right at this moment the only thing I want to do is make Pacey mad.”

 

“Let’s check inside the theatre first.”

 

They walk in.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Dawson has a problem with spontaneity.  The good part is he will be the first to admit this, the bad part is you never hear the end of it.  He can never *enjoy* anything.  He may give in to some ‘wild’ selfish teenage desire but his sometimes dented but never battered moral code will always find a way to pass judgement and punish accordingly.  No action goes unanalysed, no mistake goes uncriticised.  You can only put it down to experience once the last drop of morality has been passed through the ringer.  And you no what?  It’s no fun after a while.  Can you appreciate what Dawson’s day to day life must be like?  Like a struggling sitcom forced to follow up any crazy antics with a message for the greater good.  Too self-restricting, too hard on the blood pressure, and too damn *boring*.”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“I can’t see him here, Jo.”

 

“Hold on a second, it’s dark.”

 

“Ssshhhhh!” An old lady hushed fiercely.

 

“I’m sorry ma’am but we’re looking for a friend of ours, did anyone come in before us?”

 

“Sssshhhhh!

 

“Oh, Dawson - this next song’s great.  But the films nearly ended.”

 

“Oh darn, Joey and I was so looking forward to it.  What song anyway?”

 

“You remem-”

 

And from out of the darkness, Dawson and Joey found Pacey.

 

(To audience)

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” looking around, “well actually Gentle*man*, the establishment is sorry to disrupt your viewing of this picture but it’s time for ‘Sing Along Sound of Music’.  This song is a personal favourite of my friends and I, and I’d like to dedicate it to one who isn’t having any fun.  Dawson Leery, this one’s for you.....”  turning to screen, “are you ready, Julie?

 

Julie Andrews was ready.

 

“You are sixteen,

going on seventeen,

waiting for life to start......”

 

“PACEY!”  Joey cried.

 

“Pacey!  WHAT are you doing?  Get off of the stage!!”  Dawson.

 

“I can’t BELIEVE he’s doing this!”  Joey laughed as Pacey pulled one lady onto the stage with him.

 

“I knew he liked older women but even for him...” Dawson shrugged in amused disbelief.

 

Pacey and his new partner waltzed across the small stage.

 

“Big finale everyone!”  Pacey called, finally letting his partner go to conduct the audience.

 

Dawson and Joey shouted along with the rest of the theatre the last line of the song

 

“I’ll way-aate a year-ere or twooooooo......”

 

“Wonderful!” Pacey cried out gleefully.  “You were all marvellous, no, no you are too kind.”

 

He blew kisses at his admiring fans before making his way off the stage to the applause and wolf whistles of Capeside’s old ladies collective.  Bowing, he made his way out of the movie theatre.

 

“I can’t believe you did that Pacey!”  Dawson said.  “’This is a personal favourite of me and my friends’ - what was that?”

 

“Spontaneity, my friend.”

 

“Stupidity more like.  What if someone saw you.  What if one of those old ladies happened to be Principal Green’s next door neighbour or something.”

 

“Take it easy, Dawson, it was fun wasn’t it?”

 

Dawson laughed despite himself.  “Yeah, Pacey, it was fun.”

 

“Well there you are.”

 

Helping Joey into the truck Pacey began singing again, opera style;

 

“Climb every moun-tain,”

 

Infected, Dawson and Joey immediately joined in,

 

“Search high and low...,”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Deputy Doug Witter drove his squad car past the movie theatre.  He stopped briefly to read the showing times for ‘Sound of Music’.  Too bad he was working all day. 

 

“Ah, officer,” the elderly daytime vendor called out to the car, “ you must have heard about those hoodlums.”

 

Doug stepped away from his vehicle.

 

“I was just, err, ahem” he cleared his throat, “ - hoodlums you say?”

 

“Yeah.  Three crazy kids just sneaked in here, messing about in front of everyone then ran outta here and disappeared in a truck.  Disrupted the whole feature they did.”

 

“Really?  Could you describe the truck for me, sir?”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Doug drove slowly past his parents house.  His dad’s truck was outside.  He paused for a minute deciding whether or not to turn round.  As he paused he heard voices floating across from the backyard.  He got out.

 

He rang the doorbell and waited.  No response.  He headed back to the squad car to fetch his spare key.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“Pacey?”  Joey said, lifting her sunglasses and putting her cocktail to one side.  “Was that someone at the door?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Dawson threw an ice cube from the distance of his sunbed.  “Pacey, man, there’s someone out the front.”

 

Pacey rolled off his own sunbed onto the floor.  Picking himself up, he said, “okay, I ‘ll go and check it out.  Stay cool.  Whoever it is will go away.”

 

In two minutes he was back. 

 

“You know what I just said?  Ignore that.”  He started clearing up the evidence of their Hawaiian theme afternoon.  “It’s Doug.  He wouldn’t come round here without a reason and I think we’re it.”

 

“You mean he knows we’re here?”  Dawson asked wide-eyed.

 

“He knows something.  He’s got that smug ‘I know better than you’ look on his face.”

 

“So what’s new?”  Joey asked.

 

Pacey paused to reflect on this.

 

“We don’t have time, you guys, we’ve gotta get out of here!”  Dawson hissed.

 

“Dawson, chill, man.  We just hide the stuff, hide ourselves and Doug will think he’s missed us.”

 

“With the truck still in the driveway?”

 

“Dawson, I would *love* to have the time to think of a fool-proof plan to foil Deputy Doug but I don’t.  So if I were you I’d find me a bush to hide in.”

 

“Stop arguing you guys!”  Joey hissed, pulling them round to the side of the house.  They could hear Doug moving around inside the house.

 

“Ahh!”  Pacey exclaimed in a whisper.  “The limbo pole!  Jo, why didn’t you grab it?”

 

“Excuse me?  I got *everything* else out the way while you and Dawson had your little heart to heart!”

 

“Yeah, and you missed a bit!”

 

“Pacey face it, we’re screwed.  Once Doug sees that he’ll come out here looking for us.”

 

“And knowing Doug he’ll show no mercy.”

 

“That’s right.  He’ll take us to Principal Green, and then it’s not just about skipping school.  He’ll find out about you impersonating my father, your brother, lying about Bessie and the B&B, not to mention stealing into the cinema, taking your Dad’s truck and my Dad’s boat.  C’mon, Pace, we’re beaten.  Admit defeat.”

 

“Never.”

 

“Pacey -”

 

“- No Dawson!  Jeez, do you know how much you whine?  You’ve complained the whole day but you know the one thing you didn’t do was stay behind.  I never *forced* you to come.  You did that of your own free will.  You - somewhat grudgingly - put your trust in me.  So trust me now.  If there’s a way out of this - I’ll find it.”

 

“That’s it isn’t it, Pacey?  This whole day has been about you.  You playing the big hero, the star who gets his best friends out of school to show them a good time.  Well you know what, Pace, this isn’t a movie.  You’re not Ferris Bueller, just an ordinary teenager who’s gonna get caught and bring his two friends down with him.  It was a great movie, Pace, but what made it great was that you thought they got away with it.  You didn’t have to see Cameron telling his Dad he’d smashed his car, you didn’t have to see the misery Ferris was put in the rest of the year by Mr Rooney because Ferris got the better of him.  But we will have to see it.  We’ll have to *live* it because that’s what real life is like.  It doesn’t let you ignore the consequences.  But I guess, as usual, you hadn’t thought it through that far.”

 

Pacey stared at his best friend.  Then at Joey.  Then at Dawson again.

 

He thought quickly.

 

“Okay, maybe one of us does have to face the consequences, but not all of us.  Go.”

 

“Pacey?”  Joey asked.

 

“Go now, the two of you.  Go home.”

 

“But Doug’ll hear us.  Or see us.”

 

“Well, actually, he’ll be watching the little diversion in the backyard provided by yours truly.”

 

“Pacey you don’t - “

 

“Dawson you were right, man.  I got you into this so I’ll get you out.”

 

“This is ... decent of you, Pacey.”

 

“Will you go already?”

 

Dawson headed off quickly.  Joey hang back slightly, hesitating.

 

“What is it, Potter.”

 

She nodded her head slightly.  “I just want you to know, Pacey, it was fun today.  You made it fun.”

 

“Thanks, Jo.  Do you think, maybe, just the two of us, might, have some fun together sometime?”

 

A pause.  “Umm, I, I don’t know, maybe we -” a noise came from inside the house.  “I gotta go, Pacey.”  She disappeared without looking back.

 

*Of course you do* thought Pacey.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

As Doug stepped into the backyard he saw Pacey doing the limbo under a garden rake suspended in the air by two garden chairs.

 

“What are you doing, little brother?”

 

“Hey, Dougie!  Wanna join me?”

 

“Where are your friends?”

 

“What friends?  I don’t have any friends.  I wanna be just like you.”

 

“The ones you were skipping school with today.  Are they hiding somewhere?”

 

Pacey searched his pockets.  “Nope, don’t think so.  Unless you want to check.  Should I assume the position?”

 

The brothers heard voices at the front of the house.  Doug smiled in satisfaction.

 

“Well, isn’t that nice.  *Daddy’s* home.”

 

Pacey looked at his feet.  He hardly had the luck of the gods.

 

“Look, Doug.  Save the evil words okay.  I know I’m busted.  I’m sure Dad will give me suitable punishment.  You can explain everything to him, he can be disappointed in me.  You and I will go back to hating each other and all will be the way that it was.”

 

Doug Witter looked long and hard at his brother.  As he heard his parents approaching he made a decision.  He grabbed the rake-slash-limbo pole and shoved it into Pacey’s hand.

 

“Hello, boys,” their mother called as she approached them with their father. “What are you two doing here?”

 

“You’re home early from school, Pacey.” Their father said.  “What’s going on, Doug?”

 

“I picked him up, and drove him home.  He’s doing some chores for me to earn some extra cash, but I thought he should do the old homestead first.  Free of charge of course.

 

“Of course.”  Superintendent Witter smiled at his eldest son.  “Well, Pacey, don’t stop on our account.”

 

Pacey barely registered his father’s comment.  He was too busy staring at Doug in bewilderment.

 

Doug hang back as he parents walked back into the house.

 

“Are you trying to catch flies, Pacey?”

 

“You saved my ass?”

 

“Yes, I did.  Now your ass is mine.  Anything I want doing, you do.  Got it?”

“Got it.  But why?”

 

“Because you owe me.”

 

“No.  I mean why did you help me out?”

 

Doug shrugged.  “Brotherly love?”

 

Pacey raised an eyebrow.

 

“No, I mean it, in a way.  What you said, Pace.  Well I can’t stop Dad being disappointed in you, that’s up to you.  But I just want you to know.  I don’t hate you.  I don’t want you to hate me.  Maybe if we both try....  Maybe it doesn’t have to be the two of us hating each other.”

 

A slow smile spread across Pacey’s face.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

“So, that’s how Pacey Witter’s Day Out finished.  Doug, well, what can I say?  The man came through for me.  I think we’ll have an interesting kind of relationship, but at least we’ll *have* one.  It’s more than we did before. 

 

Dawson’ll be okay.  He’s never going to change and neither will I but perhaps that’s why he’s my best friend.  He challenges me, and I challenge him.

 

Joey.  That’s a story unfinished.  But I think, perhaps, that in even taking some round-about route we’ll end up at each other.

 

So my message?  Well, maybe you shouldn’t follow movies too closely.  They’re just movies after all.  But I thought it this morning and I still think it now - if the sky is blue and your heart is heavy, then you’ve got to do something to lighten the load....”

 

The End

 

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