This is all about an adventure. No really, it is. It might not seem that way to you, but to me it's high excitement.



Do you remember J.C. Penney's? I do, great store that sold absolutely everything that could be had elsewhere for a better price or a better quality at the same price. But, J.C.'s had one thing no better store had... a credit card in my mom's name. But, WA you say? What's that have to do with high adventure? Well like all good stories, it was the beginning.



My tractor beginning began with the purchase of one acre of land in Beaumont, Texas. Beaumont means "beautiful mountain" in French, or so I was told. But let me tell you, it was neither beautiful, nor a mountain. It was pretty much flat and grey and dismal. All except for my little acre, which was actually in the city limits, but on a small road which contained more horses and cattle than people. Entitled Spurlock road, it was a small patch of wild flowers in the midst of a tar pit; but I digress. Spurlock road was famous for another reason other than containing my acre, it was the home and practice place for the Kaiser boys. Who apart from keeping us up some nights, put out a pretty decent album called appropriately enough, Spurlock Road. Check it out, tell em the Thomas's sent ya.



Dang! Where was I? Ah yes, our lovely little acre. Did anyone ever mention to you that grass grows? Yeah sure we think about and perhaps talk about it, but who actually ever does anything about it? Well, me apparently; at least my wife thought so. After buying this beautiful refuge from a retired couple who apparently has nothing better to do than cut grass all day in their stunningly landscaped yard, the grass did something totally unexpected, it grew and grew and grew. So did the weeds. And the bushes. And inside of about 2 months the beautiful acre looked like a hay field in Kansas. (With perhaps a few more pecan trees than they have.)



So I did what any young red-blooded young American male homeowner would do... I went to Sears. Also being relatively broke, I passed by the beautiful Craftsman riding mowers and bought the biggest push mower they had. Five horsepower! That's right 5! And it had powered wheels, I won't even have to push, just kind of guide it along. Yeah on a golf course maybe! Not in my hay field.



I had to raise that dang mower all the way up to keep it from constantly bogging down. Then I had to go over the lawn again on the lower setting to get it short enough. (The adventure is coming, I promise.)



Ten hours! That's right, it took me ten hours to mow that acre with a push mower. I swore next time I wouldn't wait so long and I could mow it in one pass. (I had a Craftsman after all.) Well, that's really what I intended to do, I promise. But things came up, I was tired... blah, blah, blah. And the grass grew again. How dare it! I just mowed it 4 or 5 weeks ago.



So I mowed it again. One pass just like I said. (On the high setting.) Kinda looked tall for just cut grass, but hey it was cut.



After one summer of this, the next summer I decided to start early. Summer in south east Texas begins about the beginning of April. So I get out the ole Craftmans 5 horse push mower... and take it to the shop because the fool thing won't start. Winterizing? Never heard of it. Well $150 later she was humming along.



Six hours later, I was cursing the Craftman and Sears too. (Nothing against Sears, my grass isn't their fault. I tried cursing my wife once. She hurt me. Sears doesn't scratch you!)



So I get smart, about 6 weeks later and borrow my great uncle's lawn tractor. That's right, lawn tractor. Not riding lawn mower, that would be too undignified for a 15 horse Craftman which was fixing to cut my lawn. This was the first "tractor" I had ever driven. And it took 2.5 hours! Heaven!



But she wasn't mine and I couldn't keep borrowing her, so I did what every young, red-blooded American male would do... I whined to my parents. My mom specifically. And eventually she gave in and we headed to J.C. Penney's. (Told you I'd get back to J.C.'s eventually.)



Thus begins the side story adventures of "Signature 2000", the biggest piece of junk ever created by any company in history since on or about the Industrial Revolution...