�Don�t rush me!� Hawkeye complained.
�Come on. Anyway you move�you�re going to lose�
�I was about to go then! Now I�ve got to re-think it!�
Margaret rolled her eyes and stood up, slightly frustrated �You want a drink?�
�Yeah�
�Maybe by the time I get back you�ll have made a move.�
�What? There�s scotch in your footlocker� he muttered, not really listening.
�You think I�m going to use a 15 year old bottle of scotch on you?�
�What else are we going to use it on?�
�We?� she asked him.
�MmmmHmmm�AH HA!� he finally made his move.
Margaret smirked �You were saying?�
�DAMN!�
�Checkmate.�
Hawkeye was speechless. 4 games and he had taken 6 of her pieces. �How�d you do that?�
�What else is there to do on an army base?� Meaning she had become a pro over the years of moving.
�Beaten by a woman� Hawkeye muttered.
�Watch it�� she warned him.
Hawkeye groaned in annoyance �How many more days did they say it was gonna rain?�
�Same as you asked 3 minutes ago.�
�And knowing the army it�ll be in triplicate.� Hawkeye lay back down on her bed.
�Another game?� she asked.
�Another game? Are you kidding me? With my luck?�
�Well what do you want to do?�
Hawkeye grinned at her. She knew what it meant.
Margaret groaned �Another game?� she repeated.
�Sex is a game�
�Sex is exhausting� she corrected him. �What are you trying to do? Beat the record?�
�We don�t have much of one�� he muttered.
�I�d call 5 times in 6 hours a record.�
Hawkeye grumbled.
�Poker? Go fish? Gin?�
�Handjob?� He asked her with pleading eyes.
�NO!�
�But Margaret�� Hawkeye whined.
�Why would I have to do something when you are quite capable of doing it all by yourself.�
�You�ve turned into a real smartass you know that?�
�I learnt from the best.�
�Stop changing the subject!� he exclaimed.
�Am not!�
�Are too! Why�don�t you want to have sex with me or something?�
�Not at 2 in the afternoon.�
�But why?�
�I have a headache, wounded might arrive, I�m on a winning streak, we�ve already had sex twice today�take your pic. Now deal Pierce.�
Hawkeye mumbled something about �convenience� �Changing the subject again.� He repeated.
�Hawkeye�you have sex on the brain�they have a cure for that now.�
�Castration?� he pondered out loud.
�Close�they take out the brain�but then again in your case that would mean castration.�
�Deal what?� he asked, ignoring her comment.
�Changing the subject again�� she mocked him.
�Poker?� he asked. �Bitch� he whispered.
�Fine� she agreed. �Bastard� she whispered.
�We need a hobby!� Hawkeye said out of the blue.
�We have a hobby�
�One that headaches and the beginning of the month aren�t an excuse not to do.�
�Or impotence� Margaret muttered.
�That was a very stressful time you know!�
�Yeah sure� she mocked before muttering �Only took 3 blowjobs to get over it.�
�Would you just shut up and play?�
�If it makes you feel uncomfortable doctor Pierce�2 cards.�
�It�s a big blow to the male ago I�ll have you know.�
Margaret sniggered and shook her head �Sex on the brain.�
�What? GAH! I didn�t mean it like that! Trust you to take it out of context.
Margaret was gobsmacked �Fuck you!�
�I�m serious! Show us what you got��
She looked down her robe �Two pairs�
�MARGARET!� Hawkeye yelled.
Margaret fell back as she laughed at him.
Hawkeye gritted his teeth �If either you don�t shut up or let me pound into you�I�ll be forced to do something I haven�t done since�
�Last Tuesday. Don�t look so surprised�I can tell whether you�ve jerked off or not.�
�How then?�
�Smell�
�You say that about everything in the Swamp�
�I never said it was in the Swamp.� She smirked at him.
�Would you care to tell me what you have�or are you going to be a smarmy bitch about it?�
�Two pairs!�
�Margaret!�
�Look, queens and nines�
�Oh� Hawkeye put his foot in it.
�Yeah�OH. Well?� she asked, referring to his cards.
Hawkeye sat up straighter �nine, ten, jack, queen�four.� Margaret laughed at him. �It�s not that funny really.�
�Yes it is!� she continued to laugh harder.
�I swear it�s not funny.�
Margaret calmed down �You know owe me�� she paused to think �2 full body massages and an orgasm.�
�Since when don�t you get the latter?�
�It�s that or I get to blow you in the mess tent�at lunchtime.�
�For Chrissake Houlihan�if you don�t shut it�I�m gonna blow, quite literally.�
�Not my problem� she sang at him.
�Who came up with this method of payment?�
At the same time the pair said �Trapper.�
�Hey, he was your best friend!� she protested.
�You screwed him!�
�So did you!�
�That�s not the point��
�There�s a point to this?�
�Sidney could probably find one.�
�You know out of the three of us, he had the filthiest mind�
�Sidney?�
Margaret rolled her eyes and hit him �TRAPPER!�
�Oh yeah! True��
�This just isn�t any fun with only two people.�
�Yeah�but who could we ask?�
�BJ?� Margaret asked.
Hawkeye started laughing. �I don�t think he�d appreciate our method of payment.�
�Oh I don�t know�he could be interested.�
�BJ Hunnicutt? Mr family man himself?�
�Everyone�s got an Achilles heel Hawk. Deal.�
�With his big feet�a heel and a half.�
�Then again not every male�s a sex maniac like you and Trapper��
Hawkeye laughed again. �Three cards�
�Yeah you�re right�there�s more to it than sex.�
��There�s rambling sex acts afterwards�
��And quickies behind Post Op.�
��And nearly getting caught.�
�THAT was your fault. If you hadn�t slammed against the tin wall!�
�WHAT?!� He was not going to let her pin this one in him. �Well if you hadn�t BITTEN me��
�If you could stay still for a few minutes��
�Do you know how hard it is to get blown and not scream�let alone stay still. Oh that�s right�you do, so you can�t talk!�
�Well?� she asked him, ignoring what he said.
�AH HA! Three of a kind!�
�Straight flush�read �em and weep!�
�SHIT! Okay what�s the damage?�
�Best four out of five�2 massages and an orgasm�comes to��
�I wish you wouldn�t say that� he told her.
�Whipped Cream.�
Hawkeye groaned in despair.
�Shouldn�t be har�difficult to find.�
�You know I hate that kinky crap!�
�And you know I love it, plus you owe me�
�Yeah yeah�whipped cream, chocolate sauce�whatever.�
�Oooh good idea�and chocolate sauce too!�
Hawkeye grumbled.
�I don�t see what you hate about it so much��
�That fucking whip for one thing. Do you know how difficult it is, explaining why there are fucking welts on your back to your bunkmates?�
�No��
�EXTREMELY diff�hard.�
�Awww poor baby!� Margaret had little sympathy for him �Anyway�you loved it.�
�I did not�that really stung!�
Margaret rolled her eyes �It�s supposed to.�
�For three days?�
�You�re new at it that�s all. What did you tell them?�
�Tell them who what?�
�About the welts��
�The truth. That my domineering girlfriend gets off whipping me in the back.�
Margaret laughed at him. Not that she was too pleased he said what they were from�but his embarrassment at telling them and his now bright red face. �Wh�what did they say?�
�Exactly what you did�they all laughed.�
�All?� Margaret questioned him.
�BJ, Charles and whoever they told. I wouldn�t be surprised if the whole camp knew you were into kinky shit.�
Margaret began to laugh even harder �So that�s why people have been purposely slapping you on the back.�
�Could we please change the subject?� he asked her.
�Wanna have sex?� Margaret asked him.
�WHAT?! ARGH! Not anymore! Why couldn�t you have said that 5 minutes ago?�
�I like to see you suffer.�
Hawkeye mumbled something incoherent
�Another round?� she asked as she shuffled.
�I get to choose payment this time.�
�Fine, you know the rules?� she really enjoyed pissing him off.
�Yes I know the rules!� he exclaimed, exasperated. �Trapper was a great teacher.�
�Oh yeah!� she agreed.
He sighed, �I really miss him.�
�Me too Hawk.� She put her hand over his and squeezed it. �Read his latest letter?�
�Last week. Lou still hadn�t had the baby.�
�Still hopes for a boy he told you too?�
�MmmmHmmm. Hey I�ve been thinking��
�No I will not blow you in the office.�
�Not that. Do you think there is anyone over here like us?� he asked her.
�Hawkeye�there is NO ONE like us!�
�You know what I mean!�
�Anything�s possible. Though I highly doubt it.�
�Why wouldn�t there be?�
�I have never heard of any nurse who knows more male underwear brands than their colleagues first names aside from me.�
�You know male underwear brands?�
�That�s not the point. All I�m saying is that I�m one of they guys.�
�Except at sex.�
��Except as sex,� she repeated him.
�I couldn�t imagine you in a dress, cooking and ironing.�
�My mother quit the army and played house. I never want to. Show us.�
�DAMN IT!� he cursed upon seeing he had lost, yet again. �Have you cursed me or something?�
Margaret laughed at him. �Yes and in a week you will come down with syphilous.� She continued to laugh.
�Sleeping around?� he questioned her.
�Certainly not! No one else around here is a pushover like you.�
�Thanks�really.�
�If it makes you feel any better�no one else around here is quite a good time in bed like you either.�
�Oh you�ve made comparisons have you?�
�What? No!�
It was Hawkeye�s turn to laugh at her now.
�So what do you owe me?�
�Anything?�
�MmmmHmmm�within the rules that is.�
Hawkeye grinned.
�What are you up to?�
�You know the one thing you asked from Trapper and I, that we never did because well�you�re sick?�
�I thought you said last week I was a horny little fuck?�
�Whatever!�
Margaret began thinking. �Nope, nope�� she started grinning �DEFINITELY no!�
�What�s that?�
�The show you two did in the swamp.�
�Oh that!� Hawkeye smiled.
�Is it the same thing you two asked me and I never did?�
�Uh huh. And a real shame you didn�t�Trapper would have loved the viewing!�
�So you�re saying I get to watch you jerk off?�
�Good enough payment?�
�It�ll do.� She smirked. Hawkeye was correct both times: she WAS sick�and she WAS a horny little fuck.
�ACK! I quit. Sick you of beating me!�
�No more poker? How about a puzzle?�
�Is it dirty?� he asked.
�For who, you or me?�
�I don�t care�I�m easy.�
�THAT�S for sure!�
�HEY! I could say the same for you!�
�But you didn�t.�
�Bitch� he muttered. �So what is it of?�
�New York�I believe.�
�Does the empire state with King Kong and Faye Ray count as dirty?�
�If you�re a hairy guy who likes dwarfs��
Hawkeye started to laugh.
�What? I�m serious!�
�That�s what scares me most about you.�
�So not the whips then? Nah�I don�t want to do a puzzle.�
�Okay, how about something that doesn�t involve hands��
�Mouth? Oooh this could get interesting!�
Hawkeye glared at her �I spy?�
�Okay�you first.�
He grinned evilly at her. �I spy with my little eye�something that starts with �N��
�Net?�
�No�
�Nose?�
�No�
�Nail�
�No�
�Nabel�
�What?�
Margaret pointed to the picture of her as a kid with a horse �Nabel�the horse?�
�Oh yeah! No�
�Notebook?�
�No�
�Navel?�
�Close, very close��
Margaret thought over the clues. �Navel�close�not nose��
�Think it�s very cold�
�Huh?�
�Female-cold�
�I still don�t get what you mean��
Hawkeye sighed �Aroused? Look at your tits for Chrissake!�
�OH! Nipple.�
�YES!�
Margaret laughed �Sex on the brain��
�Hypocrite� he muttered.
�I never said I didn�t have sex on the brain now did I?�
�True�your turn.�
�I spy with my little�shut up�eye, something that starts with�A�
�A?�
�MmmmHmmm�
�A light?�
Margaret gave him a moronic look.
�Okay okay�apple�
�You see an apple anywhere?�
�No�but you might?�
�Come on��
�Almonds�
�What?�
�I bought you almonds when I was in Seoul last week.�
�We ate them remember.� She reminded him.
�Oh yeah! A�A�where the hell is there anything beginning with A?�
�Give up?�
�No. Now knowing you it�s something dirty�uhhh�anatomy?�
�Very good!� she exclaimed �No.�
�Is it dirty?�
�Depends what way you take it.�
�A�A�Ass!�
�No, unfortunately you�re lying down. I can�t see it.�
�But you know it�s there!�
�The game�s called I �spy� not I �speculate�.�
�It was a long shot��
�Give up?�
�YES!�
�A tale of two cities.�
�What?!�
Margaret picked up a book off her footlocker �Charles lent it to me.�
�How�d you expect me to get that?�
�If you�d stop trying to see through my robe�then maybe you�d have seen it. Another round?�
�No�I hate I spy anyway.�
�Another round of Poker?�
�No� he sulked.
�Chess?�
�No�something you won�t beat me at.�
�How many times a person can jerk off in an hour?�
Hawkeye gave her a filthy look
�You asked��
He grumbled in response.
Margaret decided to change the subject.
�You want something to eat?�
�What have you got?�
�Uhhh�� she rumbled around in her footlocker, careful not to give Hawkeye a view of anything �Olives, cheese, crackers, some canned meat or something�I think it�s deer.�
�How the hell did you get all that?�
�From Charles.�
�CHARLES? How? He�s even more stingy than Frank was!�
�Easy�I gave him a handjob�
�WHAT?!� Hawkeye was both disgusted and freaked out�as everybody with an ounce of sanity would be.
�Do you know he has the tiniest�� she began.
�Continue and I�m gonna be sick.�
�I was only joking! They were the wrong brand or something. All I gave him was 10 dollars for the lot.�
Hawkeye shook his head
�You seriously think I�d give out sexual favours to get what I want?�
�As you said�anything�s possible.� He mocked her.
Margaret looked ready to kill.
�Come on, I�m only kidding, I know you wouldn�t.�
�You want something to eat or not?�
�Not right now. You want to play something else�something you CAN�T beat me at?� he hoped to change the mood a little�she didn�t seem to appreciate his last comment.
�Sure�what do you have in mind?�
�Favourites. Kinda like truth or dare�but without the dare bit.�
�Favourites? Sounds stupid.�
�Come on, just go with it!�
�Alright, alright!�
�Did I mention extra points for smuttiness?�
�Oooh okay then!�
Hawkeye thought up a question. �What�s your favourite part of the female anatomy?�
�Female?� she questioned him.
�If you�re into 2 guys at once, you must have fantasised about women!�
�Of course!�
�So?�
�Breasts�
�Really?�
�Yeah�what�s not to like? Round, firm, gentle to touch.�
�How would you know?�
�April 20th 1940. Dad was stationed in San Francisco. Abby O�Callahan � biggest chest in 11th grade. We skipped�geography and she ended up making me come in the girls bathroom.�
He smiled �Really?�
�Best headjob I�ve EVER had.�
Hawkeye looked shocked and frowned.
�She knew where to put her tongue!�
�And I don�t?�
�If it makes you feel any better, Trapper was just as bad.�
�I can�t believe this! You�re not going to turn gay on me are you?�
�If I ever did decide to try it again, it wouldn�t be just her.�
Hawkeye brightened up �You couldn�t leave me even if you wanted to?�
�Lets just say�you�re very well endowed Hawk.�
�Why thank you�want to take my dowry out for a spin?�
Margaret rolled her eyes �No, this is much more fun. Okay your turn.�
�That�s easy� and at the same time the pair said �Legs.�
�Kim Il Sung knows you�re a leg man!�
�Can I help it?�
�No�you�re a lost cause!�
�Thanks a lot!�
�Okay my turn, switch sides, how about male anatomy?�
�Shoulders�
�You�re kidding?�
�No! Thick muscles, what�s not to love?�
�You�ve only felt Trapper�s�not all men are built like him.�
�Just like not all women have big chests. Now you�oh God do I even need to ask? It couldn�t be anything but��
�Ass�
Hawkeye threw up his hands �Exactly my point! It was either that or dick��
�No� the pair were getting into a medical discussion�of some sort. ��Because the ass is always similar, dick can be too small or too large.�
�How can it be too large? I though size mattered to you lot?�
�It hurts like hell!�
Hawkeye changed the topic to something not medical �Okay okay, what�s the thing you hate most about this place?�
Margaret thought for a bit �Food�definitely the food. Rats I sleep with anyway.�
�Thanks a lot!�
�Dysentery and disease can be fixed�usually.�
�Yeah��
�Wounded�� Margaret stopped before she went off into a frenzy. Start her on about wounded and she�d end up marching to take Macarthur and Truman hostage. �Taste however cannot be disguised�ketchup can only do so much.�
�True�as for me�Salt Peter.�
Margaret laughed
�I�m serious! It�s a real bastard of a drug�causes shrinkage.�
Margaret laughs even harder, nearly falling off the bed.
�I kid you not!�
�No wonder it stops you from wanting sex�you wouldn�t want women to know you have a small�� she couldn�t finish her sentence.
�I don�t like this game anymore!�
�You�you started it.�
�So? Doesn�t mean I like it!�
�What do you want to do then?�
�You.�
�No sex! I told you already!�
�Why not? 10 minutes ago you were all for it!�
�It doesn�t affect you like it does me.�
�Bullshit! I can hear you coming a mile away.�
�Not that!�
�Then what? I don�t get what you�re saying.�
�Twice Today��
�It was three times actually.�
�Three times in a very small space of time can be very painful.�
�You haven�t stopped having sex since you were 14! What gives?�
�It still hurts��
�You want me to check you out?�
Margaret glared at him
�I�m serious, there could be something wrong!�
�The only thing wrong is the amount of sex��
�And that�s a bad thing?�
�Of course not! What I mean is seven nights a week, three and a half weeks a month can be very tiring.�
�Too much?�
�Maybe�but I�m not complaining.�
�I am�all I know is I�m getting a serious case of blue balls here.�
Margaret looked at his lap �Yeah�you do seem a little�stiff?�
�Not funny Margaret.�
�What? I didn�t mean anything by it!�
�The fuck you didn�t� he muttered.
Margaret stuck her tongue out at him.
�Well then have some sympathy!�
�For an oversexed doctor with a dick harder than concrete? HA!�
�You care you the preservation of human life?�
�Of course��
�Then for fuck�s sake BLOW ME!�
�Go blow yourself!�
�Anatomically impossible.� Hawkeye stated.
�Done experiments?�
�No�that and the fact I have the flexibility of a 40 year old.�
Margaret laughed at him before standing up.
�Where are you going?�
�Outside.�
�What for? It�s pissing down out there!�
�To have a shower�
Hawkeye looked at her strangely before saying, �I�ll go too.�
�Yeah�the cold water could do you good.�
�Hypocrite� he muttered.
�You coming?� she asked him.
�Unfortunately no.�
�Play your cards right, you might get lucky!�
�With my luck today?�
�Who knows? Anything�s possible!�
�Is that a hint of things to come?�
�Depends on how good of a fuck you are!�
Hawkeye was no longer surprised at what came out of her mouth�or went in it for that matter.
�Outside?�
�MmmmHmmm��
�At 3 in the afternoon?�
�You game?�
�Are you kidding me? I�ll take ANYTHING!�
�Let�s just hope BJ doesn�t catch us again��
�That too!�
�Bring the scotch!� she shouted before opening the door.
Hawkeye shook his head �Women!�
�I heard that!� she yelled back at him before they disappeared out into the rain, and took the bedroom games, outside.
