A Kiss is Still a Kiss

A few months after Endor

“Yer’ crazy,” Wes slurred, leaning forward on the table. “Jus’ ‘cuz yer’a gamb..gamber, err, gambler, doesn’t mean ya win ever’ bet.”

Lando leaned back, his eyes glinting. “So you don’t think I’ll do it?”

“Fer five hundurd credits?” Wes dug around in his pockets. “I dun’t know if I’s gots that much on me.”

“You’re good for it,” Lando reassured him, winking at Wedge. “I’ve got witnesses… right?”

“Keep me out of this insanity,” Wedge informed the men. “I think you're both certifiable.” They were also both drunk, but Lando was much better at hiding this detail than Wes Janson.

“You’d do it for five hundred credits,” Lando said, grinning.

“No way. You don’t have any idea who’s going to walk in that door next.”

“Five hundurd credits shays ya don’t,” Wes mumbled, slapping some chips on the table.

Lando pushed the money over to Wedge. “You hold onto this.” He turned toward the cantina door, grinning.

“What if it’s a Gamorrean?” Wedge whispered.

“I’ll take that chance.”

“Anything for a credit,” Wedge muttered under his breath. “This is pathetic.”

All three pairs of eyes glued themselves to the door. “Maybe it’ll be a gorgeous woman,” Lando said after a few tense moments. “I do have remarkable luck, you know.”

“That’s why you lost the Falcon to Han?” Wedge returned.

“A fluke. Just a fluke.”

Wes sat up straight, squinting through the smoke-filled bar. “Someone’s commin in…”

It took a second for them to register who just sauntered into the room. “Solo…” Wedge said, nearly coughing on his ale. “You just lost five hundred credits, Lando.”

The gambler looked affronted. “Who says?”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Dis I wanna see,” Wes hiccupped. “It might be worth more’n five hundurd.”

“You’re dead,” Wedge said solemnly. “You know that. Right, Calrissian?”

Lando grinned, and stood up, a slight sway the only indication of his current state of inebriation.. “Hey, Han,” he called out, waving to his friend. “Over here.”

The smuggler-turned-General waved back, smiling at seeing his friends, then made his way through the tightly packed tables over to the group.

“Are you sure your life is worth five hundred credits?” Wedge whispered, almost pleading with Lando.

“He won’t kill me. I hope.”

“Hey, you losers,” Han called out cheerfully. “What’re you doing?”

“Just this…” Lando replied, grabbing Han around his waist and dipping him backwards, while planting a firm kiss on the man’s lips. The next thing Lando knew was that, somehow, he ended up on the floor, his nose throbbing painfully, with Solo’s blaster shoved under his chin.

“What. The. Hell?” Han snarled, shrugging off Wedge as the pilot tried to pull him back. Wes was laughing hysterically in the background, and fell off his chair as he grasped at his sides.

“It was a bet!” Lando explained, holding up one hand, while trying to stem the flow of blood from his nostrils with his other hand.” Just a bet!”

“Whoever was the next one in the door, Lando had to kiss,” Wedge added, desperately trying to avoid more bloodshed. “He was hoping for a beautiful woman.”

“But he got you, instead!” Wes screeched out, rolling around on the ground and ignoring the snorts and snickers from the other bar patrons.

“Get up, Calrissian,” Han snapped.

“I think I like it down here better. The view of the ceiling is charming.” Besides, staying on the floor seemed much safer at this moment.

A disgusted expression crossed Han's face as he swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Get up!”

“Han…” Wedge inserted. “It was just a stupid bet. A joke. Come on… you don’t have to kill him.”

“No. I won’t kill him.” A wicked grin spread across Han’s face. “But I’d say he’s gonna find out what it’s like to kiss a Wookiee – real soon.”

“You wouldn’t!” Lando protested, sitting up and wincing from his broken proboscis.

Calmly, Han picked up a full glass of ale, then slowly trickled it over the gambler’s head. “When you least expect it, Calrissian. When you least expect it.”

“I gotta see that,” Wes laughed, still holding his side.

Han grinned evilly, looking down at Wes. “See it? You’ll do way more than see it, Janson.” With that, Han turned and left the bar, ignoring Wes’s protests of innocence.

Wedge shook his head as he looked down balefully at a bloodied, ale-sodden Calrissian. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you. Does anyone ever listen to me? Nope….never.”

THE END