What Do You Mean You Aren’t Gay?

Ramblin Rose



As Blair wandered into the break room he saw Jim and two officers talking.  The first officer asked, “So Jim, we hear that you’re gay.  That true?”

Jim looked at him very oddly and answered, “No, I’m not gay.”

“See I told you he wasn’t gay.  I knew it was just a rumor.” the second officer said as they started walking out of the room.  Blair stayed to the side and walked in once it was clear.  

Jim smiled at him and said, “Hey, Chief, ready to get started on that case?”

“Jim, I think we need to go and talk somewhere. Now would be a good time.” Blair said angrily as he walked out of the room.  

Jim knew from experience that this wasn’t going to be pretty.  He hadn’t seen Blair this pissed off… ever.  He followed Blair into the elevator and they were quiet all the way down.  Once they got off, Jim pulled out his cell phone and started to call Simon. Blair stopped him and said, “I already told Simon we were going out for a while on a case.  So, don’t bother calling him.”

“Okay, Chief.  You want to start telling me what the problem is here?”

“Let's go across the street and have some privacy in a booth at the restaurant.  Then we’ll talk.”

They both walked in and went straight for a booth.  Jim slid in one side and Blair slid in the other.  Blair could keep an eye on anyone that came close enough to hear and shut his mouth.  

Jim just sat staring at Blair, waiting for him to start the conversation.  Blair looked over at him, smiled and said, “I need to ask some important questions and I want the truth.”

“Chief, I always tell you the truth, you know that.”

“Jim, do you like to suck on my cock?” Blair asked. 

Jim almost swallowed his tongue.  “Of course I do, Chief.  Why in the hell are you asking me that and why here?”

“Do you like when I suck yours?  Better yet, do you have to think of anyone else while I do that for and to you?”

“Of course not, Chief.  I love when you do that to and for me.”

Do you like to fuck me in the ass?”

“Jesus, Chief, knock it off.  What's up with this?”

“Just answer the question and not with another question.”

“Yes, I love fucking you.  You know that.” Jim whispered and smiled while blushing. Blair thought this was one of the cutest things he’d seen Jim do in ages.  Jesus, he loved this stupid man.  

“Would you rather we called it quits and you could fuck a woman right now?”

“Hell, no!  What’s going on, Chief? Are you mad and you want to dump me?” Jim asked in a panicked tone.  

“What do you like most about my lips, Jim?”

“I love how you kiss me.  I love how your lips feel when they are wrapped around my cock first thing in the morning.  God, I love everything about your lips.  I even love to watch them move while you’re talking.”

Blair pulled out a notebook and wrote down a few things, Jim asked, “What are you doing, Chief?”

“Making notes so I can show you later on. As you’re sitting there do you have visions of kissing my neck?”

“Oh yeah. I’d love to take you somewhere and kiss your neck.”

“Jim, how do you feel when I fuck you?”

Again Jim just looked at Blair strangely and answered, “Man, I love when you fuck me.  Especially when you fuck me hard. God, I love it when you’re rough.”

“I thought so, Jim, let me write that down. Okay, next question.  If I asked you to blow me in the restroom, would you?”

“Shit, Chief.  It’s probably dirty in the restroom.  I’d rather go to the loft and you know I’d love to blow you.”

“Jim, would you blow me now?  Right here?”

Looking horrified, Jim asked, “Right here at the table? Chief, I can’t do that.  You know I could never do that.”

“Not here, you doofus.  I mean in the restroom.  I want you to blow me right now.  What do you say?”

Jim scooted out of the booth and headed to the bathroom and Blair wrote that down in the notebook, stuck it in his pocket and followed Jim into the restroom.  

As soon as Blair came through the door, Jim slammed the door shut and locked it.  He went down on his knees and undid Blair’s pants so quickly that even Blair was shocked.  Blair smiled at this.  He just kept looking at his man, down on his knees in the restroom blowing him as he had asked.  Oh yeah, this man isn’t gay. Geeze.  

As Jim started sucking harder and harder, Blair put his hand over his mouth as he came.  But Jim could hear the mumbled “Jim” even through the fist over his mouth.  As Jim stood up, he cleaned Blair up and got him all tucked in and pushed him to the door and Blair said, “You don’t want me to take care of you?” Jim blushed again and said, “Already taken care of Chief. Sorry.”

They made their way to the booth again and the waitress was giving them the evil eye.  Finally, after ordering lunch, she left them alone.  It was a really quiet diner so this was working out well.  

“Hey!  Jim, what would you say if I told you my favorite thing is being tongue fucked by you?”

“I’d say I already knew that, Chief.  God, do I look stupid? You can hardly breathe when I do that to you.”

“Do you like it when it’s done to you?”

“Oh yeah, Blair, I love it.  It’s also one of my favorite things.”

Blair got really quiet as the waitress brought their order.   They both started eating while discussing this in great detail.  

“So Jim, when you’re fucking me, do you ever have thoughts of women to help you get off?”

“Jesus, what's up with you today?  No, I never think of a woman while I’m with you. Why would I? You get me off just fine, you little shit.”

“Jim, do you love it when I scream out your name when I come?  Would you prefer having me the quiet lover?”

“Blair, I never really thought about it but I have to admit, I love when you’re very vocal.  It turns me on even more than I usually am.”

“So you’re saying that my voice sometimes does it for you?”

“Oh yeah, your voice almost always does it for me.” Jim said smiling at his lover, still clueless as to why the 200 questions.

“If I asked you, would you scream out my name when you come?”

“Here?” A very appalled Jim asked.

Laughing out loud, Blair said, “No, not right here, maybe in the restroom.  What do you say, Jim?”

“Blair, what's going on?  Why can’t we go home and I’ll scream for you all you want.”

“Fine, if that’s what you want.” Blair said with an air of defeat in his voice.  

Jim slid out of the booth and headed for the restroom.  Blair followed him in and Jim said, “What’s going on, Chief?  Why do you want to do this in public?”

“No reason, I just feel like doing it and asking questions.” Blair said as he knelt down in front of Jim’s cock.  He opened Jim’s jeans and pulled his cock out of his boxers and cleaned him off with his mouth.  Jim still had that mess from the last time. Before long, Jim was moaning and none to quietly.  Blair hadn’t said a word about being vocal but Jim must have figured out he wanted vocal.  So as he got close to coming he pushed the back of Blair’s head and said, “Blair, suck harder, suck me harder.  I’m right there. Please make me come now.”

Blair sucked a few more times and Jim let out a howl sounding a lot like “Blair.”  Blair was a happy man now.  He cleaned Jim up and zipped him back up and they walked back out to the booth.  By this time, the waitress said, “Why don’t you two go and get a room?”

Jim glared at her and said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.  Mind your own business.”

Blair couldn’t help it.  He started chuckling.  What else could he do.  Seeing Jim try to tap dance around this was just too much.  

“Jim, do you love the feel of my balls in your hands?”

“Chief, are we going back into the bathroom again?  I have to tell you, I’m getting worn out.”

“Just answer my question, Jim.  Unless you think it might hurt my feelings or something.”

“In answer to your question, Blair, I love the feel of your balls and if this fucking waitress doesn’t stop staring at you, I’m going to take her fucking head off.”

“Jim, I love when you get all territorial. You go, Jim.”

“Stop making fun of me.  You don’t see the eyes she’s making at the back of your head.”

“Maybe she’s making them at you, Jim.  Did you ever think of that?”

“No, she’s making them at you. I can tell.”

“Jim, would you ever fuck me while in the truck?”

“Okay, this is going to end soon because Zena's heading over this way and I can tell she wants you.”

“Down, boy, answer my question and stop stalling.”

“Shit, you know that I have little control when it comes to you but if you’re asking if I’d like fucking you in the truck, the answer would be no.”

“Really?  Because you know I’d love to fuck you in the truck.”

“Oh shit, please tell me that’s not what’s next.  I told you, Chief, I’m tired.”

“So you wouldn’t want to fuck me in the truck?  Well, that’s okay, I guess. A man can’t be wanted all the time, I guess.”

“I lied. I’ve wanted to fuck you numerous times in the truck, just used better sense.” Jim complained.  

“Cool, let's do that one of these nights.  Okay?”

“Fine.  God, you’re weird today, Chief.  Jesus, I’m going to go and tell that bitch to get back into her cage.”

“Jim, calm down.  She just likes me cuz I’m short.  Hell, if I was 6’2” I’d even want me.”

“Very funny, Sandburg.  I’m not laughing. Are you saying you find her attractive?”

“No, what I’m saying is she reminds you of Xena because she’s tall and built well.  And they tend to like short men. Does she do anything for you, Jim?”

“Just piss me off.  Does that count for anything, Blair?  'Cuz she’s doing it big time.”

“Okay, back to questions again, Jim.  Have you wanted to take out any other officers since we’ve been together?  Or not just officers, but any man in general?”

“Jim stared at him with his mouth hanging open and said, “Not hardly, Blair.”

“You’ve never found another guy at the gym while working out attractive?”

“No, Blair, I never have.”

“Are you ever embarrassed of what we are?”

“Chief, I’m going to fucking strangle her.  Now she’s telling her boss she’s going to get your number if it’s the last thing she does.”

“Jim, would you please forget the fucking waitress? Now, are you ever embarrassed of us?”

“Why would I be?  That’s a very stupid question, Chief.”

“Jim, settle down.  You look like you're about ready to have a stroke.  Quit listening to her.  Do you understand me?”

“She’s telling her co-workers that she thinks you probably have great stamina.”

“Well, do I?”

“Yeah, you do, but I don’t want her to discuss you like that. You’re mine, not hers.”

“Oh, I love when  you’re like Jim of the Jungle.  Calm down, tough guy.  I’m not going anywhere with anyone but you.”

“All right, now they’re discussing how big your cock might be.”

“I’ll settle it for them right now.” Blair said while sliding out of the booth.  He walked over to the woman and said, “Could I see you for a moment?”

“Can I help you, sir?” She asked all innocently.  

“Yeah, take a look at the size through the jeans, and now, I’d advise you to not discuss my body parts with my friend sitting so close by.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were taken and what a nice body part you have.” she said as she smiled and walked off.  

Blair walked back to the table and sat down.  Jim was fuming.  “What the fuck was that, Blair?”

“What?” Blair asked innocently.  

“You were flirting with her, weren’t you?”

“Jim, what if I was?  Would that bother you?”

“Yes, it would bother me.  You’re mine, Chief.  Only mine.”

“Jim, now pound your chest with your fists and yell at the same time.” Blair said laughing.  Jim wasn’t seeing the humor in it.  He was pissed off.  Now that fucking waitress was discussing how large Blair’s cock was with the woman.  Now both women knew that Blair had a big cock.  Jim didn’t want anyone to know Blair had a large cock.  He never wanted anyone to know but him.

As Jim glanced across the diner, he saw the waitress making little kissing noises to Blair.  Blair wasn’t looking but that didn’t matter.  Jim was beyond pissed by this point.  He got up and walked up to her and said, “I’d appreciate if you’d keep you little kissy faces to yourself while my partner and I are in here.”

“Get a grip, cop.  He’s so taken it isn’t even funny.  We’re just teasing you.”

Jim turned and stormed back to the table and Blair said, “Well, what did you do to embarrass yourself this time?”

“The two women just told me they were doing it to upset and tease me.”

“See, I told you.  Now stop worrying.”

“Chief, could we go now?  I really want to get out of here.”

“Not quite yet, tough guy.  I’m almost done.”

“Jim, if I asked you to kiss me right here, what would you say?”

Jim stared at his partner strangely, yanked Blair across the table and planted one on his lips.  Not much in the way of sensual but he at least wasn’t embarrassed to kiss him in public.  “That answer your question, Blair?” Jim asked, smiling.  

“Well, you didn’t put much behind it, why's that?  Maybe if you looked at that woman you could kiss me with a little more enthusiasm.”

“Chief, if I looked at her, I wouldn’t be able to kiss you at all. She’s pissing me off.  She still making faces at you and now she’s sticking her tongue out at me.  God, you’d think she was 10 years old.” Having said that Jim stuck his tongue out back at her.  

Blair roared when he saw his love doing this.  God, he’s such a doofus but he’s my doofus.

“So, Jim, if someone asked you if you were gay, what would you say?”

Jim glanced over at Blair for a moment and said, “Is that what this is about?  Those jerks asking me about being gay.  Well, we aren’t, Blair.  Neither of us is gay.  We're just sentinel and guide.”

“Okay, let me get this right, Jim.  You fuck my ass, right?”

“Blair, lower your voice, everyone can hear.”

“Shut up, Jim.  There are three people in this place, I’m not all that worried. So you like me to suck your cock and you like to fuck me, am I right?”

“Yes, and yes.” Jim said, hanging his head.  

“So explain to me how that makes us not ‘gay’?”

“We don’t want any other men.  So we aren’t gay.” Jim said as if he had figured out some big cosmic question of the universe.  

“Jim, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you don’t realize that we’re gay, I’m going back to fucking women again.”

“Blair, why is this so important to you?”

“Because those asses asked you about us and you lied.”

I told you, Blair, I never thought of us as ‘gay’.”

“Jim, are you usually this stupid or did you take an extra stupid pill today?”

Blair glanced  at Jim and saw him glaring at the woman.  The waitress came over to the table and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you two are fighting.  Would you like to come to my place and talk about it?”

Jim growled and jumped out of his seat and said, “He’s mine.  NO one's having him but me.  So get the fuck away from him.”

“Fine, what an asshole.” the waitress said walking off.  

“Jim, I’m not staying with a man that can’t admit that he’s ‘gay’.”

“I see now.  I’ll know how to answer from now on.” Jim said angrily.  

“Don’t you get all pissy with me, Mr. Sentinel Man.”

“I want to fuck you hard, Mr. Guide Man.” Jim said almost savagely.

“Right here?” Blair asked.  

“Nope in the truck, come on.” Jim got up, threw plenty of money on the table and practically tore Blair’s arm off getting him out of the diner.  Jim heard the woman saying, “Why are the good ones always gay.”

As they were walking to his truck, the two officers walked by and said, “Glad to hear you’re not gay, you two.  That was a shock to us.” The first officer said.  

“I lied. I fuck him every chance I can.”

Both men had their mouths hanging open and Blair started laughing as Jim started pulling him to the truck.  

“You’ve got it now, Jim.  I’m so proud of you.  I love you, you big lug.”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard and long you won’t be able to walk right for two days. Do you understand that, Mr. Guide Man?”

“Oh yeah, Mr. Sentinel Man, I totally understand. I guess you don’t need a guide much anymore.”

“Not when it comes to loving you, Blair.  I adore you and will never question anything about the two of us again.”

“Okay, big man.  Now, come on, let's get home.”

“Home, my ass!  I’m fucking you in the truck.”

Blair took off running for the truck and was hard as a rock. Oh, it was wonderful to have his partner out... finally.  


End What Do You Mean You Aren’t Gay?



 





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