Memories
Patt Paulos-Darrow
Jim was exhausted and dirty after being in the filthy warehouse. He
could hardly wait to finish his report and get into the shower in the locker
room. Thank god he always kept clean clothing at the precinct.
As he was just finishing up, Simon walked into the room and said, "Jim, I
need to talk to you in my office."
Captain Banks then turned and walked into his office. Jim didn't know
what the hell this was about but it sure couldn't be anything good.
He walked into Simon's office and shut the door. "What's up, Simon?"
Jim asked.
"Now Jim, before you get all upset, I need you to listen," Simon started,
"Blair was in an altercation with some big guys and they hit his head on a
brick wall a few times. We took him to ER and they finally released
him."
"Well, that's doesn't sound that bad," Jim said, "he sounds like he's okay,
then. Right?"
"Well, what exactly is right?" Simon asked, "I mean, it could mean a number
of things. The fact that Sandburg has a slight concussion and thinks
he's in the movies is not a real big thing. The shrink at the hospital
said he'd come around and to just humor him."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Jim asked, "He thinks he's in movies?
Explain that one to me, Simon."
Just as he asked that, in walked Blair and everyone patted him on the back
as Henry said, "Good job, Hairboy."
"This isn't just a job," screamed Blair, "This is a fucking adventure."
Jim jumped when he heard him say it. Jim recognized this from a Charlie
Sheen and Clint Eastwood film. He was hoping that wouldn't be what he
would have to listen to all night long.
He walked towards Blair and said, "Chief, how are you feeling? Head
hurt?"
Blair looked at him and smiled as he said, "Jim, a man has to know his limitations."
"Chief," Jim asked, "do you think that you watched too much Clint Eastwood
this weekend? Come on, maybe we should get you home and have you lie
down until you feel like your old self."
Blair shoved Jim back and said, "Do you feel lucky today? Well, do
ya, punk?"
Now Jim couldn't help it. He started laughing. The idea of Blair
shoving him and saying this was a riot. Soon the whole bullpen was laughing
along with Jim.
Jim stopped laughing long enough to ask, "Sandburg, do you have a headache?"
Blair sat at his desk holding his head in his hands and said, "It's not
a too-mah."
This started the giggles again. Jim smiled at them and said, "We had
a Clint Eastwood and Arnold week."
"Chief," Jim said, "I'm going to go down to the locker room and take a quick
shower and then we'll go pick some food up and just watch television and rest.
Sound good?"
Blair looked at him and said, "Yeah, whatever."
Jim walked to the elevator and decided he would make this a really quick
shower. He needed to get Blair home to rest.
Brown walked over to Blair and said, "Hey, Hairboy, how you doing?
Do you need anything?"
"The name's not Hairboy," Blair said angrily, "and when my boyfriend comes
back, he's going to take your face off." Then he made a motion with his hand
coming away from his face, saying, "Face Off."
Again, everyone started laughing their butts off until Rafe realized he
had just said, his boyfriend. He looked over at Henry and said, "Who's
his boyfriend?"
Brown said, "Rafe, you're a little slow sometimes. He means Jim, you nut."
An astonished Rafe said, "Ellison. Jim Ellison? He's not Hairboy's
man. I went out with Blair this weekend and we were looking for women."
"Then I think that someone should warn Jim," Brown said. "Blair thinks they're
a couple."
Blair got up from the desk and went to the elevator and pushed the button
to go down. He decided he'd go and talk to Jim. Brown, Rafe, Simon
and Taggert all decided to tag along. They couldn't help it. It
might just be fun.
Simon whispered to Taggert, "Now let's try to keep Jim calm."
Blair yelled at Simon saying, "Are you talking to me? Are you talking
to me?"
Everyone again started roaring. Oh yeah, this might be a good time.
Jim was in the shower, rubbing soap all over his body just relaxing and
had his hearing turned down. He was just trying to take away that awful
smell. He did hear someone coming into the locker room so he turned
his hearing up and then Blair was standing in front of the shower staring
at Jim in all his glory.
"Yippee Ky Aye, Mother Fucker." Blair shouted as he grabbed ahold of Jim
and jumped into the shower with him. Before Jim could stop Blair, he
was running his hands down to Jim's cock, which was starting to come to life.
"Blair," Jim pleaded, "we need to get out of the shower, I'm cold.
Okay? Let's get out, get dried off, get dressed and go home."
Simon pulled Blair out of the shower and they all started drying him off
and were all laughing. Jim was scowling. None of this was funny
to him.
Jim got dried off and dressed as quickly as he could. He dressed in
record time. He sure as hell didn't know what the hell that was about
but didn't want a repeat performance.
When he walked over to the wet and waiting Blair, Blair said, "Life is like
a box of chocolates."
Brown said, "What the hell are you saying that for, Hairboy?"
"Because I'm hungry," Blair said, giggling. And then he leaned into Simon
and started falling asleep while standing up.
*************************************************************************
"Sandburg," shouted Simon, "leave it up to you to fall asleep standing up."
Simon bent over a little and picked Sandburg up and carried him over to the
bench in the locker room where he laid him down. The Doctor had told Simon
that Blair would be sleeping off and on all day and night. All Simon wanted
to do was make sure that he got Jim and Blair out of here without further
embarrassment to either of them. It might be too late for that. The damage
was already done.
Once Jim was dressed, he came out and got his things together so he could
take Blair home. Jim couldn't believe what Blair did to him in the shower.
God, Jim was never going to be able to live it down. He was still so
fucking embarrassed. Not that Blair was touching him but that Blair
was touching him in front of others. As Jim was thinking about all
of this, he just leaned his head against the locker door and hit it once.
What could it hurt, right?
Waking up at the noise, Blair came up behind Jim, with everyone watching
him like a hawk and he put his hand in between the locker and Jim's forehead
and said, "You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your
bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and
you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
Brown and Rafe just looked at each other strangely. No one had a clue
as to what the hell that meant except for Jim. He knew. "We watched
'The Matrix' the other night," Jim said, "Blair really liked it." Then
everyone seemed to understand.
"So he's still talking in riddles?" Brown said, "When will he be back to
our old Hairboy, the real thing?"
Blair walked over to Brown and smiled. "What is real?" Blair asked,
"How do you define real? If you're talking about your senses, what you
feel, taste, smell, or see, then all you're talking about are electrical signals
interpreted by your brain."
Brown couldn't help it; he started to laugh with Rafe joining in on it.
"Leave it to Hairboy to be his own person." Rafe said, "You know, he has
to be the most free thinking guy I've ever met."
Sandburg, turning to Rafe now, said, "Yeah. Free my mind. Right.
No problem."
Brown and Rafe looked at Jim and Jim smiled saying, "He's still in the Matrix."
"Well," Simon said, "what he doesn't know, can't hurt him. So for a change,
I'm glad he's not totally aware."
"Ignorance is bliss." Blair said to Simon and walked over to Jim. Blair
looked confused and upset at the same time as he said, "I hate this place.
This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I
can't stand it any longer."
Jim put his arm around Blair and pulled him in for a hug. "Chief,"
Jim said, "Things will be all right. We just need to get you home and
have you rest. Everything will look brighter tomorrow." Then Jim let
Blair go and started walking away from him.
"A heart can be broken but it keeps beating just the same." Blair said with
such sadness that Jim turned around and pulled him back into his arms.
Rafe whispered to Brown, "That's from Friend Green Tomatoes, I love that
chic flic."
"You're too twisted for color TV." Blair said to Rafe. "Can I help it if
I'd rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special?"
They all looked at each other and Conner walked into the locker room and
said, "Oh Sandy, those are two of my favorite lines from Steel Magnolias.
I take it you loved the movie, too."
"Conner," Jim said, "Sandburg has a concussion and has a memory problem.
He's thinking in terms of movie lines and quotes. So, we have to just
hope that we all understand him."
"Oh this could be fun," Conner said smiling, "let's just all try and figure
out what the heck he means by all the quotes."
"I'd agree with you, if you were right," Sandburg said to Conner.
Smiling, Conner replied, "I'm sure you would, Sandy and that's from Awakenings.
Did I miss anything better than this while I was still upstairs doing my
job?" This last part was said with much sarcasm.
Brown said, "Well, only if you count the fact that Sandburg was feeling
Ellison up in the shower."
"Oh My God," Conner shouted, "Why do I always miss the best parts?
What did you do, Ellison? Knock him on his ass?" Everyone
started laughing except for Jim.
"He's got a concussion," Jim answered, "I really don't think this is the
time or place to be discussing anything. He doesn't mean anything by
it. It was the knock on the head, that's all."
Blair walked up to Jim and looked at him sadly as he brushed his hand across
Jim's face. Blair knew that something was wrong with Jim. He also
knew that Jim didn't have feelings for him and he had to just get over it.
"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."
Blair said, "I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly guy,
like the look of him, hope the look of me didn't make him physically sick,
then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my
parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that"
Conner said, "Okay, the first part was from Wizard of Oz. I just watched
it but don't have a clue as to the last part."
"Four Weddings and a Funeral." Jim stated coolly, "We watched it on Tuesday."
"It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room!" Blair said,
"Stand up straight!" "Pick up your feet!" "Take it like a man!" "Be nice to
your sister!" "Don't mix beer and wine, ever!" "Don't drive on the railroad
tracks! Well, I'm sick of doing everything that I'm supposed to do.
I want something different! What if we want something different?"
Simon looked at Jim at a total loss for words. Jim said, "Groundhog
Day," and then everyone seemed to get it. Well, not all the way, but
close.
Jim looked over at Blair and could tell that his heart was beating way too
hard. His breathing was too rapid; Blair was on his way to a panic attack.
Jim walked over to him and said, "Chief, what's wrong?"
"How do you know that my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form
of manipulation, used to lower people's expectations? Blair asked, "Thereby
enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?"
"All right, Chief," Jim growled, "Enough's enough. I need to understand
what the fuck you're talking about. That didn't give me a clue."
"That's from the movie, Scream," Rafe said, "It might mean that he feels
unsure of himself and what he's saying or doing. Maybe it's a confidence
thing. Sandburg, are you having problems talking to Big Jim Ellison?"
Jim glared at Rafe as he said, "Shut the fuck up, Rafe, I don't need any
help from you."
Blair turned to Rafe and smiled as he said, "Okay. Now let's try to get
an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
As Blair walked away from Rafe, he was heard saying, "Just like talking
to a god-damned door."
"Chief," Jim said, "I think you just insulted me. What did I say that
got you so pissed off?"
"I'm not a smart man but I know what love is." Blair said, "Stupid is as
stupid does."
Joel jumped up and shouted, "Forrest Gump, right?" Jim was pissed
off they all seemed to be looking at this like it was some type of game.
He turned to Blair and said, "Chief, we need to get you home, now."
He waited for what seemed to be a long time before Blair answered, "You can
stick your well laid plan up your well laid ass." Well, now the laughter
could be heard everywhere in the locker room. Jim successfully lost
complete control of this situation. Simple as that.
Rafe said, "I think that was from Die Hard With A Vengeance." Brown
nodded agreeing with him as they laughed their asses off.
Blair started backing up as Jim started towards him and Blair said, "Go
dial 911. Somebody's about to get killed."
"Chief," Jim said, "you know I would never hurt a hair on your head.
Come here."
Blair walked over to him, smiled and put his arms around Jim. Jim
looked around at everyone and said, "Could I please talk to Sandburg alone?”
Everyone made haste to get out of the room but didn't go to far in hope
that Blair would say something funny. Once outside the room, they all
told each other what they were hoping to hear. Conner was hoping for
something really romantic. Brown was hoping for something really embarrassing.
Simon was hoping for a speedy recovery with nothing said. Rafe was hoping
for something he could use against Ellison for the rest of their lives and
Joel was hoping for a romantic moment. Joel said, "Conner looks like
there are two of us hoping for romance." Brown said, "We're talking
about Ellison here."
"I just wanted to feel the power between my legs, Jim." Blair said quietly
and put his head back on Jim's chest. Jim held him close as he rubbed
his back trying to calm his friend down.
"Shit, do you believe he just said that?" Brown said, "Rafe, did you just
hear that? What movie is that from?"
Rafe said, "Armageddon. I love that line and I love that movie."
"Jim" Blair said, "What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week
in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off;
ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity
of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to
be insane?"
"Blair," Jim replied, "I don't understand that. You have to tell me
more than that. I don't know what you mean or want."
"Ellison," Conner said from around the corner, "I think he might be telling
you that he'd be insane to let this opportunity pass him by. He wants
to tell you how he feels about the two of you and doesn't want to miss it."
"Conner," Jim said, "stop listening. This is supposed to be private."
Rafe said, "I think that was from Con Air."
Joel laughed as he said, "Do you all believe how many movies we watch?
And how many we can recognize from lines in a conversation involving Sandburg?"
"I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me
the way that I love you." Blair said sadly. "Jim, I need to lay down now."
He walked over and lay down on the bench and closed his eyes. Jim
looked down at him with such affection; it was breathtaking to the bunch
in Major Crimes. They couldn't help but watch the two men. What
else could they do? Well, they did the next best thing, they walked
into the room and told Jim to get his things and they'd bring Sandburg down
to the truck.
Brown grabbed Sandburg's under his shoulders and Rafe grabbed his legs and
they started walking towards the elevator. Brown said to Rafe, "What
line was that last one from? I liked it."
"The Object Of My Affection," Jim answered them. Brown said, "You're
not mad at Hairboy, are you?"
"What do you think?" Jim said, smiling, "I can't stay mad at him anyhow."
As they got onto the elevator, Blair woke up and said to Jim, "Do you believe
in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible
for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only
that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the
perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that
they wanted to just grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone
you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night
confusing a man in a coma?"
Brown and Rafe gave Jim an odd look and Jim said, "While You Were Sleeping.
We watch a lot of movies together." Jim found himself smiling more as
they got closer to the truck. This was going to be all right.
Once they got Blair into the truck, Jim buckled his seat belt up, thanked
Brown and Rafe for helping him and went to the other side of the truck to
get in.
Brown said, "Ellison, take good care of him. We really like him, ya
know?"
"Yeah, I do." Jim said smiling. "Thanks for everything, guys." With
that said, he opened up his door and got in and started the truck and drove
out of the parking garage.
Blair slept all the way to the loft. Once there, Jim parked the truck
and got out and went over to Blair's side to get him out of the truck.
Waking up at that moment, Blair smiled at Jim and said, "Why are we home?"
"You hit your head, Chief," Jim answered, "you got knocked out and have
a concussion. So we need you to get some rest and get you back on your
feet."
All of a sudden, Blair gave this desperate look and said, "Oh shit.
Jim, man, I'm so sorry." Blair jumped out of the truck and took off
for the loft as quickly as he could.
Well, thought Jim, he must have remembered what he said to me. Smiling,
he walked slowly up the stairs. Once he got to the door, he could hear
Blair in his room packing a bag. Still smiling, he opened Blair's door
and said, "Chief, what are you doing?"
"I'm leaving before you throw me out," Blair answered, "I mean, I can't
believe I said those things to you. The worst part is I said them in
front of your friends. Jim, I'll never be able to apologize for this,
ever."
"I'll have you know," Jim said, "that they consider you their friend, too.
So they aren't just mine."
Blair just looked at Jim with a shyness Jim had never seen in Blair before.
He asked, "Jim, why aren't you more angry?"
"You are everything I never knew I always wanted." Jim said smiling. He
walked over to Blair and took him into his arms and kissed him hard.
He put everything he had into that kiss. He wanted Blair to remember
this forever.
Blair finally pulled back and said, "Does this mean, you feel the same way?
Shit, why didn't either of us say anything?"
"Because we're dumb shits?" Jim said laughing.
"Fools Rush In." Blair said quietly to himself, more than anyone.
And Jim replied, "Yup, I knew that if I kept going to those chic flic's,
I would find something in them that I could use someday. It worked,
Chief."
Blair went back into Jim's arms and they were kissing again. Jim asked,
"Do you want to go upstairs to our room and get some sleep? The doctor
said you needed to sleep as much as you could."
"Jim, lead and I'll follow." Blair said smiling. "I love you."
"And I love you." Jim said as he took Blair's hand into his and they walked
up the stairs to the loft bedroom. Both of their faces had a look of
pure satisfaction and happiness on them. Life was good.
The end.
Return to
Patt's Stuff
