How to tell that you are from SWVA.

After seeing the lists from NOVA and Tidewater I decided that I should compile a list for Southwest Virginia. Here it is, any suggestions please send them to [email protected].

1. Tractors on the road are as plentiful as stars in the sky.
2. It’s weird to drive on a paved road.
3. Swimming in a creek is a viable option.
4. You know it is possible to go north and south on an interstate at the same time.
5. Until you were 18 you swore that the U.S. National Flag consisted of a blue cross and white stars.
6. Your grandmother’s favorite phrase is “Damn Yankees”.
7. You can spend all day in a convenience store.
8. It takes you at least 45 minutes to go to a mall.
9. You have two languages, “School” and “Everywhere Else”.
10. You know the state doesn’t end at Roanoke.
11. Your graduating class consisted of less than 90 people.
12. It isn’t snowing until you can walk over a fence.
13. You know what the Single Wing is and what school uses it.
14. There are two kinds beer, Natty and ‘Walkee
15. You have no qualms about urinating in a field, on a building, on a tree…
16. Deer spottin’ isn’t a crime, it’s a hobby.
17. You know what Harvard on the Hill is.
18. You have two lawnmowers, the one that cuts the grass and your “racin’ machine”
19. School is cancelled for school sporting events.
20. School is effectively cancelled for the first week of deer season.
21. Your high school teachers remember your parents as children.
22. Directions include “the” stoplight, the dirt road, and “the” big curve…
23. Dating your best friends ex is no big deal.
24. You still wear your letterman jacket although you graduated in 1986.
25. Your parents words of wisdom include: “She’s limber as a dishrag” and “F*** ‘em and Feed ‘em beans”
26. You leave college for homecoming.
27. You’ve given Chubi a ride.
28. You know why the Blue Ridge is blue.
29. You can break up with your girlfriend at 2:00 and by 2:15 everyone in the county knows.
30. When you leave the high school parking lot it is IMPERATIVE to squeal your tires.
31. You can name at least 3 racetracks within an hour drive.
32. When people ask where you are from you find it easier to say, “and hour south of Roanoke” or “an hour north of Bristol”
33. No matter what NOVA or Hampton Roads residents say, the worst traffic in the state is in the I-81 Corridor the day after the Bristol race.
34. In most parts of the state DSL and Cable are standard; at home all you hope for is to not get kicked off Net Access at least 5 times in a 10 minute AIM conversation.
35. To attend any party a four-wheel drive automobile is required.
36. You have stood in a parking lot for 5 hours on a Saturday night.
37. Towns shut down on Friday night in the fall.
38. Car horns aren’t used on highways, they are specifically made for roundin’ up cattle.
39. Being the featured running back for your high school will get you a lifetime job at the local hardware store.
40. Megaphones come standard on any truck sold in your county.
41. You were a member of FFA or 4-H.
42. At least 4 people in your graduating class had children, or were expecting.
43. Mullets are stylish.
44. You were a Hokie before 1999.
45. You’ve eaten at Peking on a Sunday and talked to everyone that walked in the door.
46. Classes only occur when the cows stop mooing, the train isn’t running, or the noon whistle isn’t blowing.
47. You HAVE a noon whistle.
48. At least one student a year has a relationship with an instructor.
49. For fire drills, your instructions are to meet in the cow field.
50. You are married, yet you cannot go to an R rated movie without your parents.
51. You still have the first map ever produced that included your town.
52. You attended Radford University frat parties in your junior year of high school.
53. You think Jeff Foxworthy was making a documentary about you.
54. The town mayor is also the town bartender.
55. You are in high school and you have a child in Kindergarten.
56. If you are over 45 your main socialization occurs on Sunday morning.
57. You have three options on Saturday night: get drunk, get high, and get laid.  If you hit the trifecta, it was a good night
58. Cops, if treated correctly, will buy your beer or put up signs for parties.
59. You have ever partied at, or been to, “The Shack” or “The Cabin.”
60. You scoff at people who wear a shirt, a sweatshirt, a down jacket, a scarf, and a toboggan when it is 32 degrees outside for a 5 minute walk to class.