Each time I see him his eyes ask me why
"Was it because I was bad", they constantly cry
How can I tell him it's hard for me too?
That I love him so deeply and what I tell him is true.

When I signed him away, a part of me died
I cant get it back, God knows I have tried
Is the pain that I'm feeling, pain he feels too?
Is his heart also breaking, slowly in two?

Alone in the dark, I still feel his soft head
When he was a baby, as I nursed him to bed
His hair was like silk, so soft on my face
Not once did I think, he would leave this warm place.

Often I go to the land of the past
A time when I thought, everything would last
And just when I think I'll never survive
I go back to when he took the first breath of life.

I still hold him and rock him and touch his soft skin
The memories keep coming from somewhere within
I'll never forget those years that were mine
Then my world became dark and the sun ceased to shine.

I'll never forget when he cried in the night
I'd change him and feed him and hold him so tight
I'd marvel and stare at my baby so lost
I wanted him happy unsure of the cost.

I'm going to have to learn to let go
I must bury this pain and not let it show
I have to be strong so together we heal
And keep walking ahead in this life that is real.

I'll keep all my memories for when I'm alone
And find my still heart from where it was thrown
No one must know I still rock him to sleep
No one must hear the cries that I weep.

His smell and his touch I've locked in my heart
I bring it all back when I'm falling apart
I'll never get over the loss of my child
He's with me forever, so soft and so mild.

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