The Personals
Marty's Rants, Raves, and Paranoid Delusions
July 2002
Can you say 'the job market sucks'? I can.
Ah, summer. The kids are home from school, the summer stretches before us in a long, warm, humid collections of days and weeks, and Marty is trying to find a job she can hold onto for more than 2 weeks. After all, reentering the workforce is supposed to be a good thing, right? Especially with the kids home from school, and the summer stretching before us in a long, warm...well, you get the picture.
So, I'm using an employment agency to help me in my job search, since 1) I've been at home with my kids for 4 years and who knows what employers are looking for these days, 2)because I've been home for 4 years I have no networking contacts left, and 3)the job market is so tight it makes my Jewish grandmother look like a spendthrift. <and no irate emails about ethnic stereotyping; I'm Jewish, I can insult myself. It's in every ethnic groups' bylaws: thou shalt sue anyone who makes a racially or ethnically stereotypical comment, unless that comment is made by one of your own. Then you're allowed to laugh because damn it, it's funny.>
So, anyway, the job hunt. Go out on interviews, finally get hired for a not bad wage. Show up at work, where no one offers any training or direction, they just sit you at a desk, give you no work, and let you go after 3 days because they have no work for you. Uh huh. Thus is the intelligence of corporate America. You'd think they could have figured that out before they hired you.
Next, you get another job, with a company that pays you not as much as the first one, but still an okay wage. And, yeah!, they have plenty of work for you, the people are nice, training is provided, and the person you're replacing tells everyone that you're her replacement. So you learn the job, do a great job <I can say that because I know it's true, so it's not boasting...really>, and get your own desk and office the same day the company controller calls you into his very much nicer office than yours to tell you they won't be needing you to come back on Monday, they're still "exploring their options" regarding your position. Damn. That wasn't even a believable excuse, but corporate America has an aversion for telling the unvarnished truth. It usually gets them sued, after all. But, since I'm technically still employed by the agency and not the company, they get away with their bullshit excuse.
So, it's back to the job hunt. It's just...I'm not sure anymore if I'm the hunter or the hunted.
November 2001
This month we are featuring family, general observations on my life, and the paranoia that comes from watching too much CNN.
Jenny had a great report card, except for a small problem in Pottery class involving glaze and collapsing slabs. Her babysitting jobs now net her more money than I make...which isn't hard considering no one pays me to be the family chauffeur. Still no boyfriend and no interest in having one. Okay, so she likes boys, but still feels that they're more trouble than they're worth. May I just say 'Thank God!'
Sara also had a great report card. She is very excited about finishing the first Harry Potter novel, and just before the movie came out. She's become quite a good reader and I'm very proud of her. Now if I could just get her to come home from her friends' houses occasionally, everything would be good. Money is the driving force in her world, which is unfortunate considering she has no income. She's deeply in debt to her loan shark, Jenny. (see above income description on Jenny for an explanation)
Aaron is turning 4 on November 20, and his world revolves around Cartoon Network, computer games, and playing cars in the dirt. Food consumption is also popular, though never when I actually cook. No, Aaron thinks the 5 food groups are milk, chocolate, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and bananas. Actual meals are treated as though I'm trying to feed him toxic waste. The highlight of his day is the bath and bedtime story ritual, but not the actual sleep part of the process.
Mark is now an official employee of Compaq, and seems to be enjoying his career change. He drives himself very hard, and is good at what he does. As with his personal relationships, he is either loved by his fellow employees, or they are completely intimidated by him. Mark is currently indulging in a last minute pre-winter fishing flurry, though nothing big enough to eat has deigned to grace his hook.
Me...well, boredom is my world. It's hard to be effusive over dirty laundry, chauffeuring, and the chocolate milk stains on my living room carpet. With unemployment soaring and jobs dissolving like the fizz in my soda, I have temporarily given up on my job hunt. No one is willing to accommodate my need for mega bucks, shortened hours, and my desire for complete control over their Company.
This month's regrets, worries, and general observations
Forgetfulness - While in general forgetting my mistakes is a blessing and not a curse, I'd make fewer mistakes if I could just remember more. You know, like birthdays, graduations, replying to email, the twice weekly phone calls I keep meaning to make to my mom but always...damn. That reminds me...
Sleep - I need more of it in longer blocks of time.
Money - Never have enough, trying to get more. Christmas is coming, the kids have longer lists than a terrorist's list of complaints against the West, and my glasses got broken this week. Not to mention the fact that it's about time to send my dentist on his annual vacation.
The War in Afghanistan - I still maintain the war was engineered by the CIA working with Osama bin Laden in order to further their secret takeover of our government. Paranoid much? Seriously, if you wanted to manipulate the world economy, plunge the United States into a quasi martial law state that would lead the populace and Congress into approving the restriction of our rights, and get massive defense budget spending passed with nary a protest by any of the political parties, could you think of a better way? And let's not forget the resurgence of racial profiling, more invasive wiretapping laws, and the open arms of some countries who are inviting in our military forces without a second thought...Help! The MIB's are dragging me away from my computer right now...
Okay, I'm back after slapping some sense into myself. It's amazing what sitting at home watching CNN will do to your common sense. I think I was channeling the Lone Gunmen there for a minute.
Of course, you know what they say..."Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you!"
Personal Statistics (if you're into that sort of thing)
Age - 29...for the 9th time.
Weight - Don't make me hit you. I don't even tell myself.
Home - Omaha, Nebraska. We're in the middle, for those of you who are only familiar with California, Florida, Texas, and New York. And no, we don't have cows in the streets or horses tied outside our saloons. We do have lots of trees, great restaurants, and one of the most spectacular zoos in the world. Oh, and yes, we are crazy about our Nebraska Cornhuskers. But then, we have no pro teams of any kind, except for the K.C. Royals farm team. We do have the College World Series, though. And I think we have a semi-pro hockey team, but don't quote me on it.
Children - Yes. See above. I wouldn't sell them for the world, but there are days when I'd pay you to take them.
Pets - Yes. Too many. Let's see...
One Black Lab/Setter mix named Angie. She's getting kind of old and frosty around her muzzle, has dry skin and hot spots just above her tail. Great dog. Doesn't know I know she sleeps on the couch and the beds when no one is looking. Likes to crawl under Jenny's bed and leave rotting bones and dog hair.
One Himalayan cat named Kelly. Has already gotten old, and likes to sleep in my clean laundry basket and on Mark's desk. Hasn't come upstairs during the day time since 1993. Still hates the dog after 9 years. Will only eat Meow Mix.
One Ball Python named Sandy. Don't go ewww...Mark and the kids gave me a choice between a snake or a tarantula, and frankly, I think I made the better choice. Eats mice, sheds a lot, and does nothing else. A waste of space.
Two mice named Chocolate and Sunflower. These are Sara's rescue animals, she saved them from the snake. They have no idea how lucky there are. I mean, have you ever seen a snake constrict its meals? Now you can say ewwww...
Car - One 9 year old Isuzu Rodeo, in remarkable shape considering the abuse it suffers at the hands and kicking feet of my family.