| Chapter Twelve - Spies |
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John, Lord of Darkness (Dum Dum Duuuuum!) and Silent Jim crouched in the woods near the cave where the bridal shower was being held. John was watching the party through his EVIL binoculars. He was beginning to grow impatient. Where the heck was Ian? Suddenly, the trees above him burst into flames and a fire truck came screaming into the woods. "Oooh! Theatrics!" John said. "Ok, now's our chance Silent Jim, let's go!" John snuck into the cave with Silent Jim/Jetter in tow. They slinked into an alcove and looked around for the computer. Just as he heard Ian(really Tyrael) say "There's a fire in my PANTS!" he found the computer. He briefly wondered why there was a computer in a secret cave, but then pushed the thought from his mind. "Ok Silent Jim, break in and let's get out of here!" Jetter looked blankly at the computer. Which one was the power button... ah! That one! Jetter pressed the button, feeling very proud of himself. The feeling evaporated the second the words "Password Protected" appeared on the screen. "Hurry up Silent Jim," John said, carefully trying not to watch Ian/Tyrael's strip tease. Jetter stared blankly at the screen. "C'mon Silent Jim! Use the encryption soft ware!" Jetter stared blankly at the screen some more. "Silent Jim! What's wrong with you today? You're not acting like yourself." "That's because he's not Silent Jim." A voice from behinf them said. John whirled around to see the REAL Ian and Silent Jim standing there. "What?! Then who's..." Jetter tried to get away, but Ian tackled him and ripped his mask off. "Jetter?" John exclaimed. "Then I guess that's Tyrael getting his groove on over there." "Where? AAAGGH!" Ian said as he looked over at the strippers. Meanwhile, Silent Jim was busy at the computer. He put the custom made encryption CD into the disk drive, typed a letter/number combination and was in. "Ok," John said, leaning over Silent Jim's shoulder. "Look at their appointments. Find out where the wedding is being held." Silent Jim nodded...silently... and went back to work. "Better hurry up," Ian said. "Looks like their finishing up." And then, "Geez, NONE of those guys is built like me." "What, you mean they actually have something down there?" John asked. "Screw you." "By the way, why are you watching them anyway?" But Ian wasn't paying attention. He mumbled something that sounded like "No, no. Take the gloves off at the very beginning, not when you're about to take off your jacket! Morons!" Silent Jim finally stopped typing and sat back. The location and directions to the place where the wedding was being held was on the screen. "Ah I see..." John said. "Print that out." Silent Jim hit print. There was silence for a few seconds and then... "Printer is out of paper." appeared on the screen. Silent Jim's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Poopy!" John said. "Quick, help me find some paper!" Ian tied up Jetter and began to search frantically for paper. Suddenly, John saw the girls stand up. "Oh man! They saw us! We're dead! They'll torture us! They'll make us put on dresses!" John wailed. At that point, all the girls ran out into the woods, leaving John, Ian, Silent Jim and Jetter alone. "Oh..um, never mind..." Eventually they did find enough paper, printed out the directions and went home... only now they had Jetter as a captive. Once they got back to the cave they began to question him. "What are you and Tyrael trying to do???" John demanded, shining a bright light in Jetter's animated face. "To mess up the marriage!" "AND??" "And to get Tyrael his stripping job back!" "Well, you got that done at least." John shuddered, thinking of what it would have been like if the REAL Ian had been stripping. "It looks like we're after the same thing..." John said. "GOOBER! Call Tyrael's house! NOW!" Goober was still in a cast from his last torture session. What, did you think he died when he fell down that trap door? Nah, he just fell into Randal's office. Anyway, Goober walked over to the phone and dialed Tyrael's number. When Tyrael got home, he found this message on his answering machine: "Tyrael, this is John, Lord of Darkness(Dum Dum Duuuuuuuum!). I know you and Jetter were masquerading as Ian and Silent Jim, and I know you dumped them into the sun. Well, somehow they survived...and no, I didn't ask. Anyway, we're both after the same thing, right? I want to break up the wedding, you want them to get a divorce, why don't- BEEP!" The message was cut off. But then the next message began to play. "-we work together. If you want to discuss this, come to my caven tommorow. Alone. And make sure you're not followed. And just as an extra precaution, we're... hosting... your friend Jetter here. Well, I've got to go. Toodles!" BEEP! The Library Home |