Ann Chovi: John, Lord of Darkness (dun dun dunnnn)
John: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ann Chovi: I call John to the stand to testify in the case of Roseidous vs. Holli!
John: Oh! Ok!
Ann Chovi: In your own words, what happened at that party?
John: Well, I was wandering around, and no one wouild talk to me because I'm evil or something. And people kept calling me "John, Lord of Darkness" WITHOUT the (Dum Dum Duuuum!) CAN YOU BELEIVE THAT?! Oh yeah... my testimony, um...
Ann Chovi: It's a shock, but let's try to keep on track
John: Well, I was stark raving drunk because of the punch... but I did see Holli and Roseidous go into a closet...And then...
Ann Chovi: A closet?
John: ...I passed out. For an hour. B
Ann Chovi: Did you see anything happen after you woke up in a pile of dirty laundry?
John: Well, I saw Tyrael and Holli doing something that temporarily blinded me
Ann Chovi: Did it involve anyone besides those two?
John: But anyway, I noticed that while Holli was out of the closet, and Roseidous wasn't. I also noticed that Bunny was missing.
I heard something in the closet, but when I went to investigate, Fitey hit me with a HAMMER and knocked me out again.
The next thing I remember is waking up in a dumpster with things like "John, Lord of Frilly Underpants" written all over my forehead...
Unfortunately I didn't notice the writing until the next day, but oh well...
Ann Chovi: Who do you remember being at the party?
John: Hmm... well, Fitey was there... so was Katherine... and Bunny... and Pen... Tyrael, Roses, Crayak, Holli... Dahjo wasn't there, but there was this camera thing that flew around and hit me in the head a few times... um... Tails... Roseidous, of course... and... um... you! Oh yeah! I was there too.
Ann Chovi: Thank you. No further questions.
John: Wait! Don't you want to hear my song and dance number???
Ann Chovi: Well, okay. If you think it will contribute to the evidence. I have to go for a little bit, but you can still perform you number. I'll be back.
*Ann Chovi leaves courtroom*
John: "GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROOOOADWAY! REMEMBER ME TO-"
::Falls off of stand::
OW! It's ok... just a fracture... I think I can... OW!
*Ann Chovi returns*
Ann Chovi: Continue if you can
Johns: ...Ugh... that's all I have to say... MEDIC!
Ann Chovi: Any further comments?
John: No, that's all