Blazie! That's the end result of today. My guess is that it's because I haven't been obedient to my promise/challenge to SYL 24/7. It's been a pleasure to speak english and a little spanish. No joy though. I was pretty much left to myself.
More on and off thinking about Alicia. Every day I grow to love my Savior more I love her more. It hurts so much that she doesn't write, but it's stabbing pains with no ache. Nothing to work through. Maybe there is, but it's not my time so I can't. When I'm not focused on someone else it hurts. I'm going to pray for guidance and try to memorise scriptures about Christ wehn I think of her. I trust my God with her.
I did have a great experience with AO4 ZHANG3LAO3. I shared Mosiah *** with him. We talked for 20 minutes about love and Christ. I think I've learned some more especially about D&C 121. Just a few notes in the Book of Worth
I wrote Matt again. My letters suck. I can't even begin to share what I feel, learn, and see here.
Finally got my passport going. I might actually leave for Taiwan with my district. Wonder what the weather's like in California :P! Just kidding. The Lord will provide.
Last minute fun picture AO4 and me :)
WO3 XU1YAO4 HUI2GAI3
Letters:*I love you selflessly *virtous woman *what's up *trust Spirit
Love, hope, and lots of Spirit. Love is giving me problems. The more I learn about it the more I feel it. The more I feel it (mostly toward family, friends, especially Alicia) I want to enjoy it. But the time isn't mine. I spend my day trying to prepare to serve. To wash myself adn be clean as the Lord says. I"m trying hard to hold myself to 4 letters a week. With so many people to write, I wonder how I ever will. I pray for the Lord's help.
I don't write much about the day to day happenings because I don't really notice them. I'm here to work and prepare. I've been without a watch and a calendar for weeks now. This journal is the only thing that keeps me aware of the date and that only when I write. If it weren't for this love & letter thing I'm working through I'm working through, I'd be feeling pretty good. I'm SYLing 24/7 again. We hard a stellar conversation at lunch.
I heard something that saddened me. A new elder was rowdy. I reminded him of quiet dignity. He said that ended at 9:30PM and that he was free. His example makes me want to be more like my Savior and have quiet dignity.
I'm thinking the Alicia habit through letters or LAN2 ZHANG3LAO3's brother Tristan who seems to live near Provo.
WO3 XU1YAO4 YI1GE5 ZHU4FU2 LE5
I am so very happy. I'll have to come back to why tomorrow. You should find a copy of my letter there. I'm sure you're aware of my struggles over Alicia. I spoke with ZHU1GE3 LAO3SHI1 about my struggles. From that experience my letter was born.
If anything, I love Alicia more now. Loving her is a comfort not a pain. I have given her to the Lord. I am quickly learning it is possible to sacrafice.
Fast Sunday is tomorrow. We start fasting tonight. This is going to be my best fast ever. I will be fasting to give thanks. As an afterthought, I ant to redidicate myself to my SYL goal adn SHI4 FU2CONG2 LE5.
I'll be writing to Kimberly and other soon. I hope and pray that I'll be able to write qually inspired letters. I excersied faith to write that letter to Alicia. Speaking of letters, I'll going to council with the Branch Presidency about writing Rachelle. Maybe I should add this to my fast. I'm loving my district. Now that I'm better about Alicia, maybe I can write my open letters to them
FAST: *thanksgiving *redidactation SYL *Rachelle letter
SHEN2 SHI4 ZHI4 GAO1 DE5
Letters:*thanks for everything *thank james *alicia's email *baby shots
Our God is wonderful. He loves us a lot. I've struggled with my feelings for you. Thinking about you, writing you, not having you. These were all things that have worried me. I prayed a lot. That God would make you mine, that you could feel my love in my letters, that I wouldn't loose you. And then I got a strange answer - and my soul was comforted.
All Heavenly Father said was "Trust Me." I felt this after talking with ZHU1GE3 LAO3SHI1 - an amasing teacher of mine. He shared some scriptures and promises with me and I began to believe God.
I've made a covenant with God that I would trust you to Him. Because of this I can follow D&C 4:2 adn give God all my heart(especially), might, mind and strength.
Letting you go makes me happy. I'm happy when I think about how precious our love will be if it is preserved for 2 years. If it be that we don't have each other, I will be happy because you will be happy. I reallly hope that these 2 years will be the best of your life because I know they will be for me.
Please write whenever you feel prompted. I love hearing from you. I look forward to hearing about your blessings and struggles and hope to share mine.
I love you.
Your Missionary,
Elder De Oliveira
- Aaron Charles
OU1YANG2 ZHANG3LAO3