Kitchen Duty: A Story of Wes and Wedge
Wes Janson: Hey Wedge!?
Wedge Antilles: Yes Janson?
Wes: What do you get when you put an immature guy and a Corellian on kitchen duty?
Wedge: (wiped his hand across his forehead)*thinking to himself I can see where this is going, but I'll just amuse him for a while....* What do you get Wes?
Wes: Really bad food with good whiskey!!! *grins at his own joke and starts to laugh*
Wedge: (groans) That wasn't funny Wes.....
Wes: I know, I'm just going insane, If that's alright with you sir? *gives a very sloppy salute*
Wedge: (groans again only louder and more angery sounding) Wes, you have been insane for along time. Please don't drag me down that same road.
Wes: (gets a evil grin on his face) Are you sure you don't I can drag you down it pretty easy... Not saying that you don't a have a strong will or anything sir...*grins gets bigger*
Wedge: *thinks (He's going to try and make me go insane...)* Oh really I don't have a strong will... Ok Wes try and make me go insane I bet you two nights off from kitchen duty that you can't.
Wes: Alright I accept that bet and I'll double it the winner has to clean the other ones room..*grins evilly*
(thoughts of the horrors that might met him if he even ventured into Wes' room, let alone tried to clean it..)
Wedge: Alright I'll accept that bet too....You won't be able to do it I know you won't!!!
Wes: You asked for it Wedge!
(Wes runs to the doors and locks them. He then sits Wedge down in a chair at the end of a table.)
Wedge: What are you getting at?
Wes: (in a singsongy voice) Oh nothing, nothing nothing, nothing.....
(Something about the way Wes was singing like that scared Wedge and a the shock of what was about to come hit him....)
(Wes sits down across from Wedge at the table)
Wes: *grins like a mainac~* Wedgie, Wedgie, Wedgie, *sighs* Hey! That was funny!! *starts to laugh again* I'm soooo funny aren't I Wedge?!?!?!
Wedge: (stares in disbelief) You are a Lt. in the New Republic Military? How is this possible?
Wes: Oh, it's very possible Wedge... very possible...But at the moment Wedge you are locked in here all alone with me...*grin widens*
Wedge: (shock and fear are very visible on his face) No, nonononono that's impossible!! I thought you were just kidding when I saw you go to the doors.(something dawns on him) Wait I know the access codes I can just unlock it myself..
Wes: *grins and shakes his head* Oh no you can't I told some of the Rogues about my plans for you and they liked them....sooooo they decided to help me out a little...
(Wedge runs to the first door and trys the access code. Nothing happens. He goes to the other door and tries theaccess code. Nothing happens.)
Wedge: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! You had them change the access code!!!
(Wes nods his head in agreement....)
(Wedge slumps onto the floor and and mumbles stuff incoherently...)
Wes: Oh come now Wedge. It's not that terrible to locked up in here with me now is it....
Wedge: No. It's worse. I'm lock in the kitchen with an insane, immature, Rogue pilot.. May the Force be with ME!!!!!!!!!
Wes: Now, now Wedge let's not act insanely.... *grins*
Wedge: How would I not act insanely being locked in a room alone with you for who knows how long!!!
(Wedge sits curled up in a ball in the corner mumbling to himself)
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@In another room on the New Republic base@
(Watching the holo of the commander going insane)
Corran Horn: Hey Wes is pretty good at that!! Remind me never to get locked in a room with him.....
Tycho Celchu: Yeah....Poor, poor Wedge....
Hobbie: (frowing as always) Poor, poor us... Do you know what Wedge is going to do to us for helping Wes???
(Corran, Tycho, and Hobbie all shudder at the thought)
(Gavin Darklighter and Myn Donos walk into the room)
Gavin: It is kindof funny though *starts to laugh* Don't you guys remember all the trouble he put us through when we join Rogue Squadron.
Myn: *frowns* Yeah and if he finds out which of us helped Wes we will relieve that past horror again...
(Inyri Forge and Nawara Ven enter the room)
Inyri: Hey you guys! *waves to everyone*
Everyone: Hey Inyri! Hey Nawara!
Nawara: So whats the bet that Wes got Wedge to agree to?
Corran: The bet is that if Wes can make Wedge go insane for even a small portion of time he has off from kitchen duty for a while.
Tycho: And an even nastier part that Wes added on is that the loser has to clean the other ones room.
(Thoughts of someone having to clean Wes' room flooded into everyones minds)
Inyri: Ooooo.... I sure hope Wes doesn't win...
Nawara: Yeah, poor, poor Wedge.....
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(After sitting curled up in the ball Wedge finally stood up)
Wedge: I won't let you do this to me Wes!! I will not go insane... MY will is not that easily broken....
Wes: Oh it's not....*he frowns* I guess I'm actually going to have to try this time. Huh Wedge....
Wedge: That's right Wes. You going to have to try hard for along long time...because you won't break me!
Wes: *shakes his head* You're just making this harder on yourself Wedge, but as you wish. I'm going to sit hear and tell you really stupid jokes for the next couple hours.... Maybe alittle singing, hmmmmm what else can I do....
Wedge: No, Wes that is quite enough. Maybe we should just end this bet and say I win....
Wes: No way Wedge I will make you go insane... So uhhh Wedge... Knock knock!
Wedge: (groans) Whose there?
Wes: ME!
Wedge: ME who?
Wes: ME, ME, ME!!!!!
Wedge: That wasn't funny Wes....
Wes: *grins evilly* I know Wedge and you are going to have to live with lots more things like that for the next couple hours.... I will win this bet!
(Wedge groans and returns to his seat across from Wes)
wo hours later.........
Wes: Hey Wedge!
Wedge: What Wes
(Silence)
Wedge: Yes Wes! (getting really annoyed)
Wes: Huh? Did you want something Wedge?
Wedge: No you said my name...
Wes: No, I didn't.
Wedge: Yes, you did.
Wes: NO, I didn't. It must have been the voices in your head again....
Wedge: I don't have voices in my head!!!!!
WEs: yes you do
Ten minutes later.....
Wes: Hey Commander!
Wedge: What?!?!?!
Wes: Did you hear that?
Wedge: No what was it?
WEs: DId you hear that?
Wedge: No what was it?
Wes: Did you hear THAT?
Wedge: grrrrrrrrr... NO I didn't hear that?
WEs: Oh, I was just wondering if I was insance because I didn't hear anything either......
(Wedge shook his head. His will was breaking very quickly....)
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@Back in that other room@
Corran: Sooo how much more do you think Wedge can take?
Tycho: I think he is breaking right now....
Hobbie: Yeah a couple more minutes and our commander might be like Wes for the rest of his life......*sighs*
Myn: What did you just say!
Hobbie: Yeah a couple more minutes and our commander might be like Wes for the rest of his life......*sighs*
Myn: I thought soooo....May be this wasn't such a good idea...
Inyri: Yeah, guys what would we do with two Weses.....
Corran: (frowning) SITHSPIT! What have we done we have to save Wedge!!
*All the Rogues(which all happen to be in the room now) get up and leave to save their commander from the same fate as Wes Janson....*
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(Wes now has all the pots and pans out upside down and are playing them as if they were drums)
Wes: You know what Wedge?
Wedge: (whispers very quietly as if weak) What Wes?
Wes: This is really fun you should try it.....
(Wes looks through the drawers for more spoons suitable to be drumsticks and fines something even more fun and more rare)
Wes: (jumping up and down) LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! (he holds up three rolls of unused duck tape...)
Wedge: (looks at Wes in horror) No!! Nonononono.....Don't look at me like that Wes... You win I'm insane now just don't do that.....
Wes: *Smiles* Alright, but Wedge now that you are insane you have to do something to prove to me that you really are.... And that something should be walking in the doors any second now...
(Wes throws Wedge one of the three rolls of ducktape and Wedge catches it)
Wedge: What is this for?
Wes: Ohhh you'll know in about 5 seconds...
(The doors open and the Rogues come in prepared to save Wedge from Wes)
Wedge: *grins evilly* Oh Wes... I understand you now...
As the Rogue pilots stand in shock at what their commander just said Wes goes and locks all the doors again while Wedge begins the punishment long await to the other Rogue Pilots.
Wes: You know what Wedge?
Wedge: What Wes? *grins as he puts tape over Tycho's mouth*
WEs: You are pretty fun when you are insane *grins insanely as he finishes taping Inyri and Corran to the wall*
Wegde: Thanks Wes *finishes taping Tycho to the table*
Wes: Wedge, you still have to own up to your end of the bet though. * starts to tape Hobbie and Nawara to the two chairs*
Wedge: What Wes!! but but but...even the room?!?!?! *helps Wes finish taping Hobbie down*
Wes: Ok not the room but you do have to take over my kitchen duties for a while. *finishes taping Nawara*
Wedge: Thanks Wes, You're such a good friend *Starts to tape Gavin and Myn down to the floor*
(Wes walks over to where Wedge is and helps him plaster the tape on to them.)
Wes: You know we should leave some sorta sign or something so people know that this is our art work...
Wedge: Yeah... I know what we can do... Go to that drawer in the corner... Now open it and take out what is inside....
(WEs takes it out)
Wes: My, my Wedge. Now where did you come across all these feathers, glue, and duct tape?
Wedge: OH I have my connections.....
(Muffled sounds of horror are heard)
Five minutes later.....
Wes and WEdge leave the room laughing and patting each other on the back.... A couple seconds later two pilots enter the kitchen sounds of laughter are heard and the pilots leave the room... As they leave they bump into Wes and Wedge.
Pilot 1: Hey you guys you should go check out the kitchen...
Pilot 2: Yeah someone taped the whole Rogue Squadron down except for two of them and then glued feathers to their heads....
Pilot 1: Yeah the funny thing is that someone wrote in duct tape on the wall "Insanity is fun so isn't duct. Why not play with both!! signed W&W Weird and Wacky" and they had a little ewok doll made out of duct tape and a little x-wing made out of duct tape sitting on the floor as if to signify who it was that did it....
Wes: Really? Now who would do such and weird and insane thing like that? *starts to laugh*
Wedge: Yeah I don't know anyone that insane....
(at this point Wes and Wedge are rolling on the floor with laughter. The two pilots look at them weird and walk away to tell others to go and check out the kitchen)
Wes: Hey Wedge?
Wedge: What Wes?
Wes:.............................