Funny Conversations
These are converstions from the movies and mostly from the books that I find funny. If you know of any that aren't here then email them to me at [email protected].
Conversations from X-Wing #6 Iron Fist
When they'd gone, Wedge said to the empty air, "Wes, they're doing it to me again."
(Wedge Antilles) "...Phanan, Face, still Seven and Eight. I'd hate to break up the best comedy team this side of hte janitor's closet."
"I love and understanding commander," Phanan said. "Know where I can get one?"
(Wes Janson) "Wraith Three to Wraith One."
Wedge jolted out of his reverie and stared up into the face of Wes Janson. Behind Janson, Dias Passik stood at attention. Wes was grinning, and even Dia's stone face suggested amusement.
.....
Wedge cleared his throat to cover his momentary discomfiture, then asked, "What's the word from Coruscant?"
"Well, they're cracking down hard on officers caught napping on the job."
Conversations from X-Wing #8 Isard's Revenge
Corran smiled as he remembered Wes proudly sporting the trio of pips that marked his elevation to the rank of Major. Corran had asked Wes if he'd thought he'd ever live long enough to wear three pips, but before Wes could answer, Hobbie quipped, "He never thought that he would live enough to count three pips."
Conversations from X-Wing #9 Starfighters of Adumar
Wedge sighed. "Look, this your last one. The next person after Wes who has bad news, we all just shoot him. Go ahead Wes."
"Cheriss is sweet on you."
......
"Wes, she's half my age."
"True." Janson looked resigned. "I'll help you, WEdge. I'll go break the news to her, console her in her time of grief. I'll--"
Wedge held up an hand. "Never mind what I just said. Let's just shoot Wes."
"I'm for that," Hobbie said.
"What's our strategy?" Tycho asked.
Hobbie gave him a curious look. " I thought we'd just all draw and fire. But I could count down to zero, and then we could draw and fire."
Tycho gave him a mock-scowl. "Quiet, you. Wedge, what's our strategy in dealing with all these serpentine politics."
Janson spoke up, sounding hurt, "Can it be later tonight? I, uh, sort of made an appointment for this evening..."
Wedge just looked at him.
"I suppose not," Janson said." Tycho, didn't anyone ever tell you that when you ask Wedge for strategy he gives you work to do?"
But Wedge's visual check showed that Janson was upside down. "Janson, orient yourself," he said. "You're belly to sky."
"Negative, boss. I'm right side up. You three inverted coming out of that headache maneuver."
Wedge glanced up, saw only sky and sun above him.
Janson's voice came again, a taunt this time. "Made you look." He righted his Blade-32.
(Wes Janson) ..... "I understood her, boss. But you don't want to know. Trust me on this."
"Anytime Janson says 'you don't want to know,'" Wedge said, "It's like juggling thermal detonators. Each time you grab and throw, you know your thumb might hit the trigger..." He sighed and turned to Janson. "I want to know."
"You asked for it... You told her your lady friend wasn't a pilot, right? Cheriss also isn't a pilot. Here, she can't compete with pilots in prestige. But you saw a lady who wasn't a pilot. You just told Cheriss, 'Yes, you too have a chance with me.'"
Wedge stood there, contemplating, unconsciously rocking in place to compensate for the transport's swaying motion across the ground. "Wes, you were right," he said.
"You didn't want to know."
"I didn't want to know."
Janson grinned. "Boom.".
"There's no telling," Wedge said. :"But it's something I need to think about. I think I need a drink."
"Oh, good," Janson said.
"Alone."