Respect your children's mother - This is the best thing
a father can do for his children. Commit yourself to keeping your marriage strong.
Support and show respect to the mother of your children, whether or not you're
married to her. Parents who respect each other- and let children know it- provide a
secure environment for their children. "If Dad and Mom accept each other, then
I must be accepted too." is the hidden but powerful message.
Spend time with your children - Treasuring children
often means sacrificing yourself for their betterment. If your children feel you
aren't as concerned about them as with your other interests, they will realize they are
not as valuable to you, no matter what you say.
Earn the right to be heard - Too often, the only time a
father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. Fathers need
to build channels of communication early so that dialogue about difficult subjects will be
easier to handle. Talk about anything- and as often as possible. Show your
children that you are interested in their ideas and issues. Children want to be led,
but fathers must earn the right to lead them.
Discipline with a gentle spirit - All children need
discipline, not as punishment, but to develop character and correct wrong doing.
Discipline is a function of love. Fathers should be calm and judicious, not harsh
and hard-nosed.
Be a role model - A girl who spends time with her
father will grow up knowing how she should be treated and what she should expect from men.
It is equally vital for fathers to set the standards for their sons. A father
can champion the virtures of self-restraint, hard work, honesty, and humility. He
can admit it when he is wrong.
Be a teacher - For too many fathers teaching is
something somebody else does. Be alert for everyday situations in which you can
teach your children the lessons of life.
Eat together as a family - This builds communication
and unity, which are integral to healthy family life. Sharing means provides
structure to hectic lives. It gives children an opportunity to talk and fathers a
time to listen and offer advice and encouragement.
Read to your children - Reading to your children builds
intimacy and encourages literacy, which are crucial in the lifelong process of
self-improvement. A father's desire to see his children stand on his shoulders
unfolds the moment he opens a book and begins to read to them.
Show affection - Children long for a secure place in
this fast-paced world. As they grow, so does their need for acceptance and a sense
of belonging. This need is met when a father offers a hug, a kind word, and
expresses appreciation for his children. Find ways each day to let your children
know you love them.
Realize that a father's job is never done - One day
you'll no longer coach your children's teams, help with homework, or go to a PTA meeting,
but your support will remain vital in your children's lives. Older teens and young
adults will look to you for wisdom if you've proven trustworthy in the past. Good
fathers allow their children the freedom to direct their lives, but they don't abandon
them at the dorm room, the altar, or at the threshold of a first job.
