Anyway I diverge from the point I first met Tom when we were posted to the same fort in Morroco, we were both kicked out of the forigen legion after we made one to many insults against the damned frenchies. On our way back to Blighty we met up with the film crew recording the english patient. Tom screwed the director to get a part and if you watch very closely you can see Tom actually played Ralph Finnes part for over 80% of the film.
Due to Toms mastery with the pistol he came to have a job in ASDA. Where he deals out cold bloody justice to all who cant find the blasted donuts. On the weekends he stalks the moors hunting for Pun-tang with his other aristocratic homies.
Tom is an unwilling vegetarian, he would love to eat meat but if he did the tough cows that sit outside his house would beat him up. He has no chance of facing up to these bullys because they are so cool, they smoke ciggerettes and they got a mate to give 'em a tatoo with nothing more than a bic biro and a stanely knife.
When Tom becomes a Park Ranger he will have his way with all manner of wild life.