By P.P.Razzi

In an attempt to write Discworld history, mister Tardey of Ankh-Morpork has taken up the challenge to, without any assistence or financial backing, bugger a hedgehog.

When asked about the reasons behind this somewhat unorthodox enterprise, mister Tardey explained to our reporter: "Well, it really was a silly joke that has gotten a bit out of hand. I was sitting in a bar with a few friends the other day, when all of a sudden a witch at a nearby table jumped up and started to recite a strange song, called: 'The hedgehog can never be buggered at all'.
Having consumed a rather copious amount of alcoholic beverages, I appear to have boasted headlong that it would be easy to perform such a task. Before I knew it this witch - Nanny Ogg her name was, if I recall correctly - had come up to me and taken me up on the challenge. And if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that you never decline a witch's challenge. At least not if you have a healthy disliking of spending the rest of your days hopping around on all fours and eating bugs.
At the time I had no idea that such an endeavour would cause so much commotion. I have not even started to prepare myself for the task and already my house has been swarmed by reporters and there are scads of curious people who follow me around everywhere I go. I start to think I have slightly underestimated the complexity of this undertaking."

Upon further questioning into the specific approach mister Tardey was planning to take, he merely shrugged pensively. "I guess I will try and obtain a hedgehog first. After that, I have to find out somehow what 'buggering' actually means and then I will commense in, well, buggering the darn rodent. With a bit of luck my first attempt will be a succesful one, otherwise I may have to work my way up starting with snails or bunnies or some other small and docile animal, as someone suggested to me."

These kinds of unusual and spectacular undertakings seem to become a common occurrence lately. Reports of all kinds of people from various layers of society, performing weird stunts or making silly bets, have increased dramatically ever since a travelling theatre company visited Ankh-Morpork and performed their controversial play 'Jack's Donkey'. This theatrical play gained much popularity in a very short time, especially amongst adolescents, despite receiving flaming and derogatory reviews in the local media. Criticized as being contentless, cheap and gross, the concept of Jack and his donkey sidekick Arnold roaming the streets and performing all sorts of dangerous or puberal stunts like repeatedly running into the wall of the Unseen University or mooning members of the city guard, seems to catch on really well with the general public.

A few examples of recent activities clearly inspired by the play include trolls indulging in dwarf-throwing along Short Street, people trying to jump across the Ankh river with often painful and smelly results, wizards engaging in public pie eating contests with unsightful consequences, warriors bashing each other over the head amicably with blunt objects, and so on.

The Green Slab has obtained actual footage of an attempt at bungy-jumping without legs, by a daring cabbage.

Two fairly low quality iconographs have been reproduced on the page. On them, you see:

You are perched on the roof of the Tower of Art.  It's a mess of little
turrets and parapets.  The Disc stretches out in all directions: hubwards,
rimwards, turnwise, and widdershins and you see nearly all of Ankh-Morpork
from here.  (This isn�t necessarily a good thing.)  The spiral staircase
starts its journey downward to the west; in the other directions is just more
roof.   A coiled rope is here.

There is one obvious exit: west.

A cabbage and a raven are standing here.

An old map is carved into a turret.

This is one of Unseen University's quadrangles.  The most obvious feature
is the impossibly high Tower of Art to the south.  The famous Library is to the
north, while to the west are double doors leading into one of the main
buildings, with another entrance to the northwest.  An archway leads towards
the main gates.

There are five obvious exits: north, south, east, west and northwest.

Five fronds of coleslaw are on the ground.

It is tragic events like these, with not seldom catastrophal outcome, that have led the Patrician to expel the travelling theatre from the city, though critics argue that this is a clear case of demanding your money back after you have eaten one of Dibbler�s sausages.

"Well, we should not exaggerate the negative influence of this theatrical play on Morporkian society", Commander Vimes of the City Guard relativizes. "We used to have incidents like these all the time before as well, only then the media was not informed in advance. It cannot be denied that the jeopardy and mindboggling stupidity of some of these acts is somewhat higher than they used to be, but the outcome really is not that much more severe. Plus, it has made our paperwork easier, since we can now simply file away a large number of cases under the header of 'Jack's Donkey-related' and get on with more useful business."

The theatre company was not reachable for comments. According to informed sources the group has last been sighted in the vicinity of Khot-Lip-Khin (the capital city of Djelibeybi), which could explain reports of increased cat-abuse and crocodile wrestling incidents.
We will keep you informed on any further developments.