I can't figure out just why I turn away from the very thing I reach for.
I spin my heart and mind in circles until they both drop to the floor.
Each time I pause just for a moment or two and try to make sense of it all,
My resistance weakens, I loose my grip and I start to fall.
So begins the process of spinning my emotions in circles, it makes me to numb to feel.
Then I walk around with nothing moving inside or out and just for a while the confusion isn't real.
I know what I want and I know what I need, that I figured out long ago.
But what I have isn't what I want, and what I want isn't what I need for me to grow.
I don't know if it's okay for a desire to be so strong.
Can someone please tell me if what I feel is right or wrong.
I would turn and walk away from you, if only I knew how.
But how can I leave behind our friendship? That is something my heart won't allow.
So I'll begin the process of spinning my emotions until I am too numbed to feel,
And I'll walk around with nothing moving, and for a while the confusion won't be real.
