Why is This Happening?

Rated: PG-13

The day started out just like any other day, Carter had arrived at work with Weaver and even though they had been dating for a matter of years it seemed rather awkward to display their affection in front of the rest of the staff. She was his boss after all and it just wouldn’t be in good taste to go around kissing each other and using pet names, they could save that for when they were at home. Carter headed off to his first patient as Weaver looked over the board which for once wasn’t a mess. She smiled as she watched the night shift leave before taking a drink of her coffee.

She was just about to pick up her first chart when she was called over to the phone, the nurse who had answered it said that it sounded important. Weaver nodded and said she would take it in the lounge, she stepped into the lounge and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that no one was in there. She was hoping that this was the call that she was expecting, and she really hoped that it was good news. She picked up the phone and went through some idle chatter with the doctor upstairs before she informed Weaver that she was two months pregnant. Kerry was so happy she could hardly contain herself, she had been wanting a child so badly and although Carter didn’t think he was quite ready for a child he supported her one hundred percent. Even though she could hardly contain herself she decided to wait to tell Carter the good news over dinner since it was now their third anniversary. She went to take another sip of coffee when she remembered that it was caffeinated so she walked towards the door and tossed it on her way out of the room.

The day was unusually slow and she was beginning to think that it was a sign that they were about to get slammed with a major trauma at any moment. She finished writing out a prescription and handed it to her patient, people knew something was up with her because she was all smiles, even when one of the kids puked on her she didn’t get angry. She headed over to the front desk trying to avoid Carter only because she was sure that she would blurt out the news if she talked to him long enough. She sat down for a moment to finish some paperwork when the major trauma hit. She sighed and smiled slightly because she knew that this was going to happen eventually/. She rushed over to the first man who was on a gurney before she started to smell something a little off, she shook her head and ignored it deciding that it was the victim they were treating because it looked like he worked in some kind of plant. As the moved away with the man she blinked and then passed out.

When she woke up she was laying in a bed, and she was dimly aware of a quarantine or something but her head hurt and it was hard to breathe. She couldn’t remember what happened or how she got in that bed and it really bothered her. She sat up very slowly trying to keep her head still so the world wouldn’t spin any more she wanted to call for Carter but everything was too bright and too loud. She suddenly felt light headed and she laid back down and closed her eyes, breathing the oxygen in through her nose and out through her mouth trying to keep herself from panicking. For the moment she could live with not knowing how she got there, if it kept her head from throbbing.

When she woke up again she was in a private room, she was feeling quite a bit better but she wondered why they had moved her into a private room, she looked around before sitting up completely and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She didn’t even consider the possibility that she was more injured then she felt, she wanted to find Carter and ask him what happened. She got up slowly but then got dizzy and sat back down. Carter’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect because he walked in just as she was sitting back down.

“Whoa….you need to lay down Kerry.” He said as he rushed over to her and she sighed in slight defeat and laid back down. He pulled a chair up next to her bed and sat down, she seemed fine to him but Abby had mentioned that she was injured, he was in there waiting for some one to come in and tell him what was going on.

“What happened?” She muttered blinking slowly, it was still hard for her to breathe but not like it was before. “I remember hearing something about benzene…”

“Yeah there was chemical spill and the guy came here and no one informed us of this until you passed out…and apparently suffered a grand maul seizure.” He put his hand on hers, he wasn’t there when she had fallen or seized but he was informed of everything that had happened after he came inside from the decontamination area. He had moved as fast as he could to get to her, hoping that she wasn’t fatally injured from the chemical.

“God I hate it when people do that.” She laughed slightly she smiled at him and put her other hand on top of his. He leaned in and kissed her gently and then smiled, he felt so much better knowing that she was awake. Abby came to the door and motioned to Carter to come out into the hall, he told Kerry he would be back in just a moment. When he did get into the hall the look in Abby’s eyes wiped the relived smile off of his face almost instantly.

“What? What is it?”

“Look we would have told you sooner but none of us knew how to break the news so they volunteered me to do it.” Abby said softly and she looked down at her hands for a moment leaving Carter in complete suspense. “She…had a miscarriage, I’m really sorry Carter.”

“What?”

“No one has told her yet obviously we thought it might be easier if she heard it from you.” Abby nodded and put a hand on his arm gently. He stood there in a moment, he was in complete shock, he had absolutely no idea that she was pregnant. A flood of emotions washed over him from joy to sorrow when he realized that there wasn’t going to be a baby anymore. Carter nodded not even bothering to tell Abby that he had no idea about this pregnancy before going back into the room. He knew how bad she wanted a child, he wondered if she even knew that she was pregnant and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out how to begin.

“What’s wrong? Can I get out of here yet?” Weaver asked as she turned her head to look at him, he felt tears pricking at his eyes, she had absolutely no idea what had happened. This was the reason why they were keeping her in a bed, he rubbed his eyes casually trying not to let on that he was upset. He knew that he was going to have to tell her eventually…but how could he tell the woman he loved that she had just lost the baby that she had so desperately wanted? “Well? Did they tell you why they kept me here all this time?”

“Yes Kerry they did…” He squeezed her hand a little tighter and took a deep breath, “The seizure you had caused you to miscarry.” His voice dropped lower as he watched her heart literally shatter into a million little pieces.

“No.” She said and then shook her head she put her hand on her stomach for a moment before looking back up at him, “No it didn’t happen I would remember it if it did.” her voice told him that she was convinced that the baby had not been miscarried. He moved in and wrapped his arms around her, he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her at this point, so he thought it was just best to hold her. She pushed away from him and got out of bed still shaking her head but just slightly.

“You need to lay down for a little while longer okay?” He said to her as he gently tried to push her back onto the bed. She looked at him blankly for a moment and then pushed him away, not in a violent or rude way but in a way that said that she didn’t want to be held.

“I’m fine John.” She insisted before grabbing the bag of clothes that were sitting on a near by chair. She ignored the fact that he was still in there as she pulled on her clothes. She noticed that they were different from the ones she was wearing earlier but she most certainly didn’t want to attribute that to miscarrying a child so she didn’t say anything about it. “I just want to go home.”

“Then let me take…”

“No I want to be alone okay?” She finished buttoning up her shirt before pulling on her jacket and crutching her way towards the door. He didn’t think that it was in her best interest to be left alone, she was in a state of shock and it certainly wouldn’t be a good idea for her to drive in that state. He walked out into the hall after her and put a hand on her shoulder gently stopping her from going any farther.

“How about this…you can be alone but let me drive you there okay?” He insisted as calmly as he could, he was hurting from the loss too but he couldn’t even begin to imagine how she was feeling about it. She looked at him for a moment and then nodded before turning away from him and walking off, he was hoping that she would change her mind once he got her back to her place where they were both living now. He began to pray silently that once he got her home everything would be okay, but he couldn’t be more off about that.

A few days later everything seemed like it was getting back to normal, Kerry was taking a few days off until she felt better and Carter was now able to leave her alone with out worrying about her safety. That night when he came home from the hospital he found Kerry in their bedroom with a bunch of baby clothes on the bed and she was sorting them happily.

“Kerry, what is this about?” He asked her as he sat on the edge of the bed being careful not to sit on any of the clothes,

“For the baby of course.” She replied like it should be obvious to him what she was doing, he took in a sharp breath for the past few days she seemed completely normal he didn’t know what had brought this on.

“Kerry,” he leaned in and put his hand on top of hers gently, “You miscarried there is no baby.” His voice was soft and as much as it hurt him to admit to the fact that there was no baby again he knew it was going to hurt her more. She looked at him for a moment like a puppy trying to understand what his master was telling him. She started to fold up the clothes without saying a word to him before moving and putting them in a drawer that she had cleared out.

“I don’t know what you are talking about John.” She finally replied before sitting back down on the bed, he didn’t know how to handle this because psychology was not his area. He took a deep breath and moved closer to her, he could see the pain in her eyes but she still couldn’t accept what had happened. She climbed under the covers and turned away from him before curling up into a fetal position and closing her eyes. He sighed and snuggled up next to her and put his arm around her but she continued to ignore him. Slowly they both drifted off into a very rough night of sleep.

The next day after Carter got to work he decided that he would find out about seeing one of the psychologists for help. He had left Weaver in a fitful sleep at home thinking that she was going to take the day off again. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to stay in bed but sooner or later he was going to have to find a way to help her. He went over to the board to cross out a name when he noticed a slight commotion behind him, when he turned to see what it was he was a little more then surprised. Kerry was standing there and she was talking rather loudly about giving everyone a raise. Of course no one was taking this seriously, in fact Susan was trying to get her to be more quiet.

“Have you been drinking?” He heard Dr. Lewis say even though she was trying to keep her voice down. No one in their right minds would have ever expected to see Dr. Weaver come into the ER drunk.

“Yeah…I’m sure it’s five o’clock somewhere.” She pulled away from Susan and stumbled towards Carter who she promptly pulled into a passionate kiss. He kissed back for a moment but he could definitely taste alcohol on her breath so he pulled away.

“Kerry it’s eight in the morning.” He whispered in her ear harshly wondering what she thought she was doing, “And you are drunk.”

“I’m not drunk Carter!” She giggled and went to pull him into another kiss when he gently pushed her away, “Oh come on I can hold my liquor!”

“Right…” He took a deep breath, “Lets get you into a room okay?”

“Good idea…” She winked at him and then pinched his ass, “A little quickie on the job sounds good…sounds very good…” He put his arm around her and started to usher her towards the first empty room that he saw which luckily wasn’t very far from where they were already standing. “HEY EVERYONE I’M GOING TO SCREW CARTER IN THE EXAM ROOM!” After hearing that everyone froze including the patients that were being seen, behind him he heard some one drop something obviously surprised that Weaver would shout that in the middle of the ER.

“Okay people get back to work!” Carter snapped even though he could feel his face getting red with embarrassment, nobody dared say anything as they tried to go back to work like everything was normal. He finally got her into an abandoned exam room and got her to sit down on the bed. She started laughing before laying back and staring straight up at the ceiling. He quickly got up and locked the door before calling for a psych consult. He sat down and had some idle chatter with a drunken Weaver until the therapist showed up.

“Hi I’m Dr. Amber McKay did you call for a consult?” She asked when he had gotten up and unlocked the door. He nodded slightly and motioned for her to come in and as soon as she did he shut the door and locked it again. “Dr. Weaver?” Amber was rather new to the county general staff but since she had already spent a great deal of time in the ER she had been getting to know the doctors.

“Yeah this is all confidential right?” Carter asked as he took a seat in the chair that he had moved next to the bed. Kerry sat up and looked at Amber for a moment before she laughed and laid back down, she took Carter’s hand in hers and scooted towards him slightly.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not having a threesome?” Weaver tried to whisper but it came out a lot louder then that. Amber put a hand to her mouth trying to cover the smile that she felt coming on and Carter rolled his eyes slightly.

“She’s a little drunk…”

“A little?” Amber asked trying to get her face back to a more serious expression, Carter nodded slightly, “If that’s why you called me down here…I’m just going to tell you to wait until she sobers up and she should be fine.”

“Look her being drunk is the least of my worries right now.” He explained his tone of voice a little on the frustrated side, “Three days ago she had a miscarriage and she won’t accept it.” Amber nodded slightly she had delt with this before but that didn’t mean it was going to be any more easy to deal with it again or even a hundred more times.

“I didn’t have a miscarriage!” Weaver exclaimed as she pounded a fist into the bed beside her, Amber looked back and fourth between the two of them for a moment. “I’m going to have a baby!”

“Kerry…” Amber walked over to the other side of the bed and took her hand gently, “You had a miscarriage okay? You may have a baby one day but now isn’t the time.” She looked directly into Weaver’s eyes while she said that but she didn’t think her words were getting through especially since Weaver was drunk.

“I don’t remember having a miscarriage.” She replied in a smart aleck tone of voice, “Why does everyone keep telling me I did? I think I would remember it if I did.” Amber nodded slightly she didn’t know the circumstances around this whole thing so she was assuming that Weaver had just blacked out the event in an attempt to cope with it.

“You remember a few days ago with the chemical spill?” Carter interjected Amber nodded her head as a signal for him to continue with the explanation, “She was exposed to the benzene and had a seizure which caused complications. The reason she doesn’t remember is because she was completely unconscious when this happened.” Amber nodded and thought for a moment, wondering if she was going to need a strong approach to this. The nice and gentle way was obviously not working she was probably going to have to shock Kerry back to reality with something harsh.

“Lets get you an ultrasound then and see how the baby is doing.” Amber said with a kind smile, “It can’t be too good considering how much you just had to drink.” Weaver looked at Amber for a moment before swallowing hard, Carter winced slightly he was surprised that she would even approach it that way.

“Get out of here.” Weaver growled her voice as sober as it could be Amber looked over to Carter and he nodded in confirmation he didn’t even know if he wanted her in there anymore. Amber forced a smile before leaving the room almost slamming the door behind her, she hated it when she tried to help some one and they took it the wrong way.

“There is no baby is there?” Weaver whispered finally coming to terms with it, “I’m not having a baby.” She put her hands on her stomach softly and looked down for a moment before tears started to spill down her cheeks freely. Carter moved in and put his arms around her to comfort her because he couldn’t think of anything to say in this situation to ease the pain. “I’m so sorry…”

“Shhh it’s not your fault.” He said to her soothingly before moving a hand up to gently stroke her hair. She brought her hand to her face and angrily wiped away the tears that continued to fall from her tired eyes. “Maybe there’s a reason for this…maybe it’s fate.”

“Fate?” She laughed a little, “Why would God want to put anyone through this?” She shook her head slightly before she turned her head to look at him, “I should have told you right away it was my mistake.”

“No it wasn’t Kerry and you will have a child…we will have a child it’s just not supposed to happen right now.” He replied in a soothing voice, they weren’t even married yet. He certainly didn’t object to her having a child without them being married because he knew how important it was to her but he thought that it might be the next logical step before trying for a child. “Let me take you home so you can get some rest okay?” She nodded slightly and she felt her head begin to throb as the liquor wore off and she sobered up. He helped her out of the bed and they headed out of the hospital together and for the first time neither of them really cared that Carter’s arm was around her as they walked.

From there things got better, Kerry had gone in to see Amber a few times and she had successfully delt with the loss of the child. The holidays were coming up and so everyone was piled into the lounge at this point having a very impromptu Christmas get together. The music was loud, Luka and Abby were taking every opportunity they got to kiss under the mistletoe, and Weaver was taking every chance she could to break them up before their kissing turned into other things. Romano and Amber were standing in the corner drinking eggnog as they slowly inched closer and closer making the other members of the staff wonder if Romano was actually going to get some this year. It was getting late and the party couldn’t last very long, although the only people who were drinking were the ones who were off duty it was still getting rather rowdy and distracting from their actual jobs. Suddenly Carter made his way to the center of the room and stood up on the table and whistled as loud as he could to get everyone’s attention. Everyone except Abby and Luka looked up, because they were lost in their own little make out world.

“Okay people…first off I would like to make a toast to a merry Christmas and a happy new year.” He raised his glass slightly as did the rest of the staff, Weaver remained seated only because she was convinced if she stood up some one would take her seat. “Secondly…” He hopped down from the table and started towards Weaver as people backed away to clear a path for him. He stopped in front of her and got down on one knee, soft chatter filled the room with speculation on what he was going to do next, “Kerry Weaver…” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box before opening it to present her with one of the biggest diamonds she had ever seen, “Will you marry me?” He jaw dropped and she looked around she had absolutely no idea that he was going to do that but she was very happy that he did.

“I…yes of course I will.” She moved in and hugged him and the onlookers cheered loudly before getting back to their other conversations. No one seemed to have any objections to the proposal so he smiled and pulled back before slipping the ring onto her finger slowly. “This must mean you are ready to start a family huh?”

“Most definitely…” He looked at the sly smile on her face before it hit him, “You’re…?”

“Yeah I am…we are going to have a baby.” She pulled him into a passionate kiss, she most certainly couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present. She looked around the room at the rest of the happy people, Amber and Romano were leaving together and Luka had his hand in Abby’s shirt. Instead of saying anything about that she stood up along with Carter, “Now lets get out of here before anyone notices.” he smiled at her and nodded before they both left for home, it most certainly was going to be a happy new year.

The End