| The Diary just thinking to much can really give you a bad outlook on life it can drive you to doing childish and crazy things, things that you are not proud of but when you write them down they might just make you reframe from doing such things and people might be able to relate to your crazyness. always wanting to write an online diary i have desided that this is the ideal time to do one. ill try to not upset of bring shame to the friends i have through this but slip ups can be made if you have any comments on what i write feal free to email me you lot cos i get a bit carryed away and it can get ugly!!! email the bitch that wrote this so hear goes ..... 23:50 02 august 2002 well on this fine night ive just desided to listen to pj harvey on the computer theres something about her voice that is quite unlike most ive heard but everyone has there own music that can be like that (portishead being another of my favorites!) just thinking which is a bad thing cos i have a bad habit of reminding myself of how bad i have made everything turn out, if i wasnt such a bitch i might actualy have a friend that liked me and not over pitty i sopose pages like this dont help all the pitty and all but sometimes it has to be said i could be nicer to people and just nicer in general i realy admire buddhism i meen they have got it in all the ways they want treat others like you would like to be treated alow sometimes were all a bit guilty of treating others just like they have treated us isnt it a wonder how men can sleep at night (sorry luke not you your nice ;) ) i meen all the shit we have to put up with i wonder how it is posible for me to keep loving another man after the last fuck ups ive past of as boyfriends a well i hope to get it write one day ! im not to negitive i like good things to sleeping and kissing im not all bad well its sunday the day after the night befor and im quite happy its not everyday you have a weird night and wake up refreshed i think sometimes im waisting my life going to the dungeon i meen all the people who go well most are like fake and its funny how they can all call themself alternitive i just think im realising a few things and its not the point that there at all better than me its like they think they are just cos im geinuin and speek my mind nomater how crazy it sounds id say everything to everyones face that i say about them and if i dont like someone its ovious i dont want to sound like i think im the best person i can be hell i make big mistakes im rude im anoying and im fat but does that realy mater at least im me and not fuck it im going out to get pissed at k and j's its all shit and ill decorate the world with my drunken madness well im free free from endless nights crying endless nights of what ifs endless nights of sending shit soppy txts things can only get better girls and boys and boy will it be fuckin diffrent this time this hole last week has been a real test for me in lots of ways and i passed ok i marked my own paper but hay its my dam test i think things could be worse i could be like someone who is starving or in real need but for me it was quite hard id like to thank the best friends in the world to me man they rule cutting the shit now i have got to say im realy intreaged just about so many things im like a duracell bunny that is possesed nice to no that for once ive struck motivation yay i new it would happen collage hear i gome in a big blast of mindfulness i recomend meditation to anyone realy it helps even if your so depresed you can still come out on to with it signin off |