| Maria's Transgender Palace |
| Girltalk, part III: Getting out |
| HAIR!!!!! You have several options for hair. 1. Wig. Full wigs can run from $20 to a couple hundred. I recommend buying cheap first at the "Asian lady" beauty stores that cateer to African American communities. Here you can find a selection of cheap wigs that will work until you find a style you might like. Then if you like move on to a better wig. Synthetic wigs are great for CDs b/c of cost and they can take a beating. 2. Fall. If some of your real hair is long enough, you can use a fall or hair-piece. These are actually cheaper than wigs and can give a very natural look that's difficult to achieve with a full wig. 3. Weave. (extenwsions). You can get several types. The most common are the bond r "Glue-in" weave or sewn-in. They vary in price, although the glue-in type you can do yourself. However, the glue almost always causes hair breakage. Weaves are very popular with hollywood starts (ever wonder how JLO changes hair lengths overnight?) and with African American and Latina women. A sewn-in weave can cost between $100-300 and lasts for about two-three months. These are the best methods of getting realistic looking hair. |
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| Kelly: A Friend and Role Model!!!!! When I first went to the bars i'd always see Kelly, and admire her from afar. She always looks polished, her make-up is flawless, and she has the longest, shapeliest, sexist legs you've ever seen. Yet, once I got to know her, I began to admire her even more. Kelly is an amazing person, kind,sweet, gentle and all of the good things that women are. Kelly has taught me a lot about being a decent human being by example. She is a wealth of knowledge about so many things, from men, to make-up, to the difficulties of being gay/tranz in the business world. Kelly is always upbeat and has taught me a lot about composure in public. Her example has helped me on my transition.I'm proud to know her and call her a friend. |
| Where to Go? 1. Gay Bar. Find a local gay bar. Chances are there will be one more open to drag/tranz. This is your best place to start as you will find a tolerant crowd, and safe environment. You can find a local gay bar by looking in alternative newspapers, or even stopping in an adult bookstore aned asking. 2. A support group. You can find listings at the NTAC website. Locally, (Pittsburgh) we have two groups, PTSG which is oriented toward transsexuals or transgenderists or Transpitt which is a great place for beginning CDs. Where not to go--until you become passable 1. the Mall 2. Straight bar If you haven't been dressing for at least a year, and generally on hormones, I think it's a bad idea to go to places with the general public. First, if they 'read' you people can be very cruel. Second, if you look a mess (and chances are you do at the beginning stages) you aren't doing our community any favors. Third, it can be physcially dangerous. What to Wear??? 1. No fetish gear if you are going in a public place other than a gay bar. Let me tell you, if you are wearing red plastic on a Tuesday night at a gay cocktail bar, you will look foolish. Save your fetish gear for fetish night, or special events. Try dressing to fit in, rather than look like a 1980s ho! 2. Jeans and a top with strappy sandals are what women tend to wear out nightclubbing these days. Dresses are relatively rare, because it's hard to have the body to look good in one. Especially if you are going to a straight bar, don't wear a dress! 3. BE REALISTIC! Don't wear belly shirts if your belly is REALLY fat or if you are well over 50! You will not look sexy--only foolish. That said, gg womeh who are a few pounds over weight, wear belly shirts, so if you are close to being realistic, go for it! |
| WORD to the WISE 1. Don't get caught up in compliements. Gay men, supportive friends, etc will give you comopliements that may or may not be valid. Gay men in particular are really kind to Tranz, so don't get caught up in the accolades and forget you still have a TON of work to do! 2.. Although I've written a lot about looks, cosmetics, etc it's because we need to be passable to survive in society, don't lose track that the real goal of being a Tranz is being happy in life. Part of that is realizing that being Tranz is not a beauty contest or fashion show. It's about maximizing our happiness and trying to minimize the pain of loved ones. It's also about representing our community and being able to function successfully in our new gender. If you are a TS you should spend equal time examining how you will transition, work, and become successful in you new life. Beautfy fades very quickly. 3. If you are on the road to transition, try to do so gradually. Too often I've seen tranz come-out in a big hurry and lose jobs, family, and basically mess-up their life. Get into therapy, figure out a life plan that will enable you to comeout, work, and socialize successfully. 4. Becoming a woman is a lot more than just clothes or make-up. It's about styles of speaking, behaviors, nuturing, posture, and expressing feelings. Try to read some literature on women, feminism, and transition. As Yoda once said, 'you must unlearn what you have learned." 5. BE JOYFUL THAT YOU NOW UNDERSTAND YOURSELF!!!!!!! |