May

The Month Of May, 2004
(One Year Later)

This month is going to be one of the hardest months since my mother has passed away. Lets start out with Mothers Day, May 9th. I don't even want to imagine what this day is going to be like. This will be the first mother's day and I truly don't know how I am going to handle this? To be honest I don't want to. Nikki gets married on May 8th so Lisa is going to watch Nikki leave for her Honeymoon (a week long cruise) and then her friend Rachel is going to have her over for dinner. Dad has to work at the airport, so I decided to try and stay busy to make the day go a lil easier. Brandon and I are going to go to the Orioles game at 1:30pm then I will prally meet up with Lisa and spend the rest of the day with her.

Now lets jump to our birthdays. Mine is on May 12th and Lisa's is a week later on May 19th.This is going to be another hard day. The woman who gave birth to us wont be there to celebrate. We have never had a birthday without her. She was awesome when it came to birthdays!!! She always made a big deal out of them. She would call us on the minute we were born, send flowers or ballons to work/school, always had cake and ice cream the night of our birthdays. Our family and very close friends were also always there for the cake and ice cream.....man I'm gonna miss those days.

Now the day I am really going to dread coming.....May 23rd. This will be the one year mark. I can't believe that one whole year has gone by. Everyday I realize it's one day closer to this big day. It's hard to explain but sometimes it seems like it's just been a few months. Other days it seems like its been forever, it seems like years and years have passed by. I just hope she will give me some guidance and strength to get me through all of this.

Mothers Day.........

This day was horrible!! I made it through but it was the worst ever, it was terrible. I made it through this horrible day thanks to my best friend, Mollie......This is how the day went...... Brandon and I had a lil arguement Saturday at Nikkis wedding, so I gave our Oriole tickets away. Well the next morning (sunday) my friends couldn't go to the game so now I'm stuck looking for someone to go at the last minute. I called so many people but everyone had plans and Lisa didn't want to go sit out in the heat and blah blah blah so anyway the tickets went to waste!! Which I was very angry at because it would have been the 1st game I would have went to this season and also I wasted my money! I thought to myself OK Brandon will call maybe not to make up but to atleast see how I was doing but NO he didn't call he went with his friends to sit and watch them go around and around a stupid dirt bike track.....but anyway Mollie was there for me. About 12:30 I got some flowers and went to the graveyard, I sat there for a while and cried and just enjoyed the nice weather. My Mom loved the outdoors, she could sit for hours on the back deck. Anyway Mollie called me around 2:30 or so and I went and hung out with her til about 10 O'clock. I have to say she helped me get through this day! I would have never made it this far with out Brandy, Mollie, Crystal and Laura. They got me through the last few months of moms life and they got me to where I am today. (and of course everone else and family too) Back to Mothers Day...I must say Brandon did take about 3 mins around 8:30 or so to give me a call but I was a total bitch and just blew him off. I was so hurt, the day I needed him the most he wasn't there for me. I finally came home around midnight or so and just went to bed. I was so exhausted! But oh well, I got through it.

Our Birthdays.....

My Birthday was okay. Better than I expected it to be. Dad took us all (Brandon, Lisa, Mrs. Joyce, Dad, Crystal, and Brian) to the Pheonix in Ellicott City for dinner and a few drinks. He is a light weight and left kinda early. Then the shots started coming. After Mrs. Joyce and my dad left Brian bought shots of "Grand mar yeah" Then John, Amy, Dave, and Jeff all came too to have a few. We stayed there for a lil while drinking shots and beers. Lisa then left cuz she had to work the next day and then we moved it on up to Lapalapa's. Some great person had told the DJ it was my bday so I got free shots and a shot glass. Well to cut this a lil short I was totally trashed!!! Brandon had to pull over 5 times on the way home and then i spent the rest of the night admiring his new toliet. (Thank god it was new) The whole next day I was so sick!!! I swore I would never drink again......WELL THAT DIDN'T LAST LONG!!