I Wonder

suzyh



I wonder if he knows that he's my world. I wake up every day thinking of him and he 
is my last thought at night. I eat, drink and breathe him and if anything happened to 
him I'd die. Of course, he is oblivious to anything else but getting that gland out of his 
head and it's laughable that he would ever consider me as lover material, but, I still 
love him. Which is why I say nothing. I give the wise cracks and do the 'buddy' thing 
and pretend that everytime he goes home alone that I'm out picking up the lady of my 
choice.

Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of something when he looks at me. A little smile, a little 
glance, then it's gone. Concealed under those shields that he likes to put up to shut the 
world out, only lately, he's shutting me out as well. It started a week ago. I had been 
bragging about this imaginary chick that I bedded and he gave me this look I have 
never seen before. Hurt. Wounded. Like I'd personally hurt him. It tore into my soul 
and ate at my heart. Since then, nothing. Not a word. Not a 'Hey Hobbes, fancy a beer' 
or, ' Hey, let's sneak into a movie' He's removed himself without consulting me and 
now I'm alone again. Not that I ever had him, but at least the friendship was 
something.

So, now we sit on another pointless stakeout. He's pretending to read something and 
I'm pretending to do lookout duty, pretty soon we're gonna have to talk to each other 
and he knows it. He stretches and puts his book down. He turns so he faces me and 
rubs a hand through that gorgeous mop on his head.

"So, Bobby. Got a date tonight?" His voice sounds bitter even though he tries to make 
it casual. I shrug.

"Nothing special. How about you?" I return the question knowing the answer. 
Darien's eyes flash at me.

"Yeah right Bobby. Unlike you I can't just go peddling my wares."

Whoa! That was a backhander even for him. I glare at him. "What the hell does that 
mean?" I ask angrily. He glares right back.

"Bobby Hobbes. The great lover, available to every woman in the world. Ever spare a 
thought for your poor lonely partner?" he pouts and looks out of his window. If only 
he knew. I spare more than a thought for him on a daily basis. He haunts my dreams 
and tempts me beyond all reason. Still, this attitude of his is pissing me off. I get 
angry. Fast.

"You know, if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself long enough people might have 
more sympathy for your lack of bed play." 

His head spins round and I think for a second he's gonna hit me. Instead, he glares 
even harder. "Fuck you Bobby. Have you any idea what it's like? To be so close to 
something you want and know that you'll never have it?"

He has no idea. 'Yes' I want to shout at him. 'I sit by you every day and wish that I 
could just kiss and love you.' Instead I ignore the question and pick up my binoculars 
again.

"I get it Fawkes. You're horny. What do you want me to do about it?" There is a 
silence and I can feel his eyes bore into the back of my head. His breathing changes 
and the atmosphere in Golda gets tense.

"I'll tell you what I want you to do Bobby. Kiss me." This time my head feels like it 
does a 360. I must have looked like that chick out of the excorcist because the bastard 
actually smiles at me. "That's right Bobby. You heard me right. I've sat here day after 
day waiting for you to notice me. I've dropped hints so big you could have seen them 
from space. I can't sleep I want you so bad and you...." Darien rubs his head again. " 
All I get is tales from Bobby's bedroom. Well, that doesn't cut it anymore. I wanna be 
in that bedroom, I wanna be in your bed, under your hands, under your mouth on a 
daily basis."

His speech is cut short by my phone ringing. Fucking piece of crap. I sit gaping for a 
second before he gestures to the phone. I answer it and only vaguely hear Eberts 
telling me to abort the mission and head home for the day. I grunt a reply and throw 
the phone on the floor. Darien is watching me closely. I hate being observed it makes 
me nervous. I pull myself together and start the van.

"Bobby?" his voice pleads softly for me to look at him. I comply and see the need in 
his face. I lose it in a second and lean over and kiss him hard. His mouth opens 
instantly and I feel the moan vibrate in his chest. I explore him for a minute or two 
then break it off. Jesus. I'm hard and so is he. He's biting his lip now like he's 
expecting me to throw him out or something.  I take a deep breath and take a leap of 
faith.

"Back to my place then?" I hold my breath. Darien blinks rapidly and nods almost 
eagerly. I nod briefly and throw Golda into gear and speed off in the direction of 
home. We don't speak,  Darien keeps flashing me looks as if he's expecting me to stop 
and change my mind. Fat chance. I've been wanting this for so long my mind has 
gone onto autopilot and for once, I'm not overthinking things. It's definitely safe to 
say my little head has taken control of my brain in the bigger one. I park Golda and 
kill the engine. Still, there is silence only it's more sexually charged than before and if 
Darien breathes any harder he'll hyperventilate. My breathing sure as hell ain't regular 
as we sit looking at the windshield.

 His hand sneaks to my thigh, then slides higher when I don't protest. I close my eyes 
as long fingers tap the front of my fly and traces the outline of my erection. I suck my 
breath in and pray I don't come in my pants like a teenager. He moves his fingers so 
slowly it's torture, around the head, back down the shaft squeezing slightly as he goes 
and that's through fabric, God knows how I'll control myself when he gets to bare 
skin. I hear a moan and realize it's me. Darien lets out a whimper, so soft but full of 
his need and want for me. I can't take it anymore and I begin to thrust into his hand 
not caring that we're in a parking lot, not caring that someone will see, I just want him 
to make me come. He stops abruptly and fumbles with the front of my pants. 
Suddenly, my cock is exposed to his eyes and he licks his lips. Before I can speak, 
which is becoming more difficult by the second, my partner takes me into his mouth 
and moves down my cock inch by inch tracing veins as he goes. I clutch his head 
moaning desperately by now, I'm seconds away from coming but he doesn't let up, 
sucking hard and moving back up my shaft and sucking greedily on the head. I feel 
the wave of pleasure start and my hips lift slightly. The sound of him sucking me off 
fills my ears and I come shouting and gasping, my head connecting with the headrest 
behind me as he swallows everything, moans around my softening cock and suckles 
me gently.

"Bobby....I love you..." Darien murmurs as he kisses my cock for the last time and 
tucks it away. I reach for his pants and feel wetness there. He's come. Quite a bit if the 
front of his pants are anything to go by. I look into those brown eyes of his and for the 
first time since I realized that I loved him, I see his love for me and I wonder no more.

the end.